mindfulness maybe

[lonelee1]

i deal with depression, repetitive thoughts, obsessive thoughts that cause anxiety, and social phobia for over 15 years. i've spent it all trying to out-think all of these 'problems', when there may be simple solutions.

'forgetting anxiety' has helped me a lot lately, but it feels kind of new and it is a bit concerning. where does all the energy go? i don't want it to push back. someone mentioned it's like 'glossing over and ignoring' and sometimes i grasp that. but if i'm consistent, i hope it works. the key is not to revert to rumination after any event.

what if we can choose the weight of each thought? i don't know if that makes sense. maybe make a mental hierarchy of which thoughts you allow meaning, which are important in reality, etc, and how much emotion we're willing to accept from them. because it would be weird to live numb while things are going on. maybe that's how 'normal' people live. seems new to me.

the alternative is to simply remove all emotion from each thought. i think that's mindfulness basically. being aware without engaging. but i wonder if it's possible to live a life so detached?

i don't know. it's a difficult balance. your mind demands that certain thoughts are important and should be attended to, in loops. i'd like to eliminate those and feel good about it.

i feel sort of alright, but worried because i'll have to get a job soon. i don't know how i'll handle it. i want my ideas to work. i need to work on my self esteem.

 

[coyote]

as human beings, it may not be possible to remain completely unattached

but we can work toward that goal

the important thing is to recognize what happens when we do attach ourselves

and to be able to accept the result, or, if we can't accept that, to be able to then let go instead

 

[jaim38]

I have the same worries and frustration. I agree with coyote that it's impossible to remain completely detached from our thoughts. Some thoughts are more important than others, or is it completely subjective? I have practiced mindfulness over the years, on and off, and when something traumatic happens to me, I try to detach from my thoughts and from the environment around me. I basically isolate myself from the world and withdraw into a safe corner of my mind. I refuse to react to my thoughts and refuse to engage with the outside world.

 

[sullyS25]

In the past I have been able to be detached from my thoughts and it has worked wonderfully. Lately though, I have been facing some of my core fears and it is VERRRY difficult to do!

 

[lonelee1]

I have the same worries and frustration. I agree with coyote that it's impossible to remain completely detached from our thoughts. Some thoughts are more important than others, or is it completely subjective? I have practiced mindfulness over the years, on and off, and when something traumatic happens to me, I try to detach from my thoughts and from the environment around me. I basically isolate myself from the world and withdraw into a safe corner of my mind. I refuse to react to my thoughts and refuse to engage with the outside world.

this is what i've been doing. but i'll admit im a little worried about the rebound anxiety. if you detach long enough, does the trauma disappear? is it possible to forget situations that might or have caused anxiety enough so that you don't ruminate on them? i'm afraid being more present (less detached) will bring it all back.

i'm thinking about the process of unlearning, or forgetting how to be depressed, anxious, etc. little pieces to a larger puzzle. maybe the problem is in the ruminations, which enforce negative emotions.
i have no idea, i'll keep trying.

 

[lonelee1]

as human beings, it may not be possible to remain completely unattached

but we can work toward that goal

the important thing is to recognize what happens when we do attach ourselves

and to be able to accept the result, or, if we can't accept that, to be able to then let go instead

if i detach enough, will specific thoughts that cause emotional pain disappear over time? i've never researched intrusive thoughts and memory.

you're right, we have to learn how to react.

 

[jaim38]

this is what i've been doing. but i'll admit im a little worried about the rebound anxiety. if you detach long enough, does the trauma disappear? is it possible to forget situations that might or have caused anxiety enough so that you don't ruminate on them? i'm afraid being more present (less detached) will bring it all back.

i'm thinking about the process of unlearning, or forgetting how to be depressed, anxious, etc. little pieces to a larger puzzle. maybe the problem is in the ruminations, which enforce negative emotions.
i have no idea, i'll keep trying.

Traumatic situations always come back to haunt me, despite my efforts to completely detach from my thoughts and feelings. It probably has something to do with my subconscious. I could be doing something happy but in the middle of it, these bad memories flood my brain and I lose control and/or cry. I'm tired of ruminating and crying over the same darn things. The only 'remedy' that seems to work is time; give it enough time, maybe years, and those traumatic memories will gradually fade. Now, when I recall memories from 4-5 years ago, I don't break down like I used to.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Many thoughts are meaningless and you have as much control over them as you do in your dreams-none. Assigning a weight to them would be futile and counter productive. If your thoughts are negative, assign the thought to your OCD category which you have no control over and need not to feel responsible.
Trying to control something that you can't control is pointless. My thoughts discontinued after I realized that I was not at fault and they were a symptom of my OCD. It's not about whether to engage or not to engage a thought, it's about having the right perspective.

 

[lonelee1]

Trying to control something that you can't control is pointless. My thoughts discontinued after I realized that I was not at fault and they were a symptom of my OCD. It's not about whether to engage or not to engage a thought, it's about having the right perspective.

more than right. trying to wrap my mind around 'mindfulness' and how to unlearn the anxiety emotions.

i'm trying to keep intrusions from returning. not only that but my negative self talk. detachment is alright sometimes, guess it's not possible to remain long-term though. whatever i'm doing has been working. but i'm worried i'll feel bad again. i can't ever get that low again. it's the worst.

so we have that thoughts are meaningless. immaterial. but we react to the ones that hold meaning to us. and the anxiety to those that bear some weight or threat becomes learned.

normal people might have unconsciously constructed a hierarchy of thoughts. placing importance i mean. they can distinguish noise from signal.

letting go doesn't help for me because it always returns. i'm thinking at the neural level, can we 'forget' and not respond to triggers simply by detaching long enough from the anxiety?

that way we wouldn't have to ruminate. rumination enforces the thought and makes it important. it doesnt mean you'd avoid triggers, maybe it gets to the point in doing this technique that ERP would begin to become really useful and permanent.

i dunno. its a ridiculous cycle. im glad you've found a way around it

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Negative self talk is entirely different and I have a problem with that as well. My inner dialogue is usually very negative and I have not found a way around it. I know that it stems from a low self esteem self hate issues.