Men with social anxiety are dangerous

[Anonymous]

Wait, so it's bad to single out a narrow subset of men -- men with social anxiety -- as being dangerous, but it's perfectly fine to characterize ALL men that way?

Many men worry what might happen in an uninhibited moment precisely because they've bought into the feminist lie that men are evil and male sexuality is somehow "wrong." Modern society likes to mess with men's brains, and it's really not a wonder so many of us are sick.

 

[wistful_dementia]

Those men weren't very reasonable people where they? In anycase it doesn't do anyone anygood to overgeneralize because of fear. It is just gives excuses for more injustice and wrongs to be done by the other side. Put things into perspective... out of the millions and millions of men in the world those that you point out are only a drop in the bucket. And usually they are that way because they are taught that it is socially acceptable to be agressive and hostile and they are taught that is ok to not be responsible for their emotions or other peoples emotions.

 

[wistful_dementia]

“yeah umm wistful..percentages don’t really work like that? 95% of domestic violence victims are women ,

… the majority of the abused are women , but, saying that 25% of all crimes are domestic doesn’t mean that 25% of the male population is responsible in the US –that would mean that out of about 130 million men, 32.5 million people men alone would be responsible for domestic violence. And by using your logic you would have to say that probably the other 75% of crimes would include 97.5 million men. Not correct once again.

Not all men are perpetrators of violence and definitely not the majority of men. Therefore to say that men are violent is an overgeneralization. It is not only inaccurate but harmful. The largest percentage of physical domestic violence is caused by men. That's true.. nobody here is arguing that. Just that most men are not violent towards women.


"i guess ive been knowing the drop in the bucket...right?"

right... your argument isn't accurate, but rather have been using emotional reasoning and jumping to inaccurate conclusions.

"i have every right to tell it from my female persepective" very true... and you should also be responsible enough to try to get your argument right... otherwise it harms everyone.

"this morning i had a guy telling me about the time he was raped..and how hard it is to get over it and yet every female i know has been either raped or narrowly escaped rape."

So what is your point? That because most of the women that you know have been raped his feelings doesn’t matter? Both women and men’s lives are important.

"but like that wouldnt be the guys on this comm who are capable of that stuff right"

.... some would statistically. but statistically, it would be the aggressive self centered male that is the most likely perpetrator of violence, including sexual violence.... and most of those male have antisocial personality disorder... no excuse because if they used reasoning they wouldn't have committed their violence... Personally, I think those people (the rapist) should have their nads removed.

Worrydoll I know you have the right to speak your mind, I am not arguing against that... I'm just suggesting that you be more responsible.... Statistics are weird... you have to know how to look at them in order to get a realistic picture. More realistically, the relatively (compared to the whole of men) small numbers of men that are doing these crimes are doing it repeatedly because they might have raped previously and think that they now can get away with it. Also allot of these people have learned from society that it is ok for a man to be violent or aggressive... they think that it is natural.

 

[wistful_dementia]

Women should be angry and they should be wary and careful. But it is not right to paint ALL men as dangerous or bad.

 

[Anonymous]

Women just have to accept men as they are without fearing them or judging them. Men are half of the population, after all, with every right to take up space and be themselves. What are women going to do -- lock us all up? Kill us all? By what means? Women depend on men to do all the dirty work.

I genuinely feel bad for women who fear men or encounter a man as a "potential rapists." That's not a fun way to live life. I try to be sympathetic with these women, and I try hard to let them not get under my skin.

I know who I am, and I know that I love all women in all kinds of different ways -- including sexually. But that doesn't make me a rapist, it makes me a man. I have found that women worth my time appreciate all of these aspects of me -- the good, the bad, the incomprensible, the masculine, the horny and the irrational. My will is good.

 

[wistful_dementia]

yeah im not negating the guys pain..the guy that was raped..but my point is that my mum and my sister and my friends dont harp on and on like theyre a hero/ine for surviving rape. rape is like part of womens lives..at least in my world..and i will tell it like it is for me in my world and i dont care if its not the same for you in your world and i dont care about being resposible to preotect peoples feelings. im talking about my feelings. if i have to read posts about people being too scared to shit i dont see why they cant read mine about being a woman.

Agreed... you have the right to post what you want. And it really sucks to be in 'your world'. My point if you expect anyone to give a rats as about your world then you should give a rat's ass about their world also. We don't live in a bubble. 'Our world- their world' our paths cross and what we do and say affects each other.

And if you don't care that I don't care about 'your world' then why are you making this posting... obviously you have an agenda to educate.

lastly, I agree and have agreed it sucks that (what is the stat) that at least 25% of women are raped (let me know if I am wrong). But, the point is most of rape cases are from people that the women know and trust... they aren't from wierdos or socialphobes. And most of these men that do this are people that don't give a rats ass: look up the definition of antisocial personality disorder and the stats of what men are doing the raping. So once again, the only way to decrease the number of rapes is to educate men, and stop accepting certain behavioural traits of the rapists. By condoning male agressiveness, etc. Their behaivor is reinnforced by society's admiration of certain typical male traits like agressiveness, mindless violence, etc.

 

[Anonymous]

You may have been injured by a man. Or you may have watched too much Lifetime Channel TV, or you may have read too many lunatic rants by radical feminists. I don't know how you developed such a negative impression of men, but I have never hurt you or anybody else, so any fear of men as it applies to ME is wholly irrational. So, if you give me dirty looks, or avoid being alone with me, or get uncomfortable around me, then I'll properly recognize it as flowing from your distorted understanding of reality.

(Isn't it funny how each of these posts reveals that we can really only feel our own pain, and not the pain of others so close to us -- like the other gender? Perhaps this is the root of this thing we call "social anxiety." We are driven by fear and not by love.)

 

[Anonymous]

saying that all motivations are driven by fear is stupid. that's irrational thinking- there is alot of that and ALOT of what we do is driven by fear. So are nonsocialphobes reactions toward that which they do not understand.

I do alot which isn't motivated by fear. And should everything that we do be motivated by love? Love definitely makes the world a better place. But when you think about it everyones actions is in part selfish. Even mother Theresa was selfish. She helped others and in return was rewarded with a sense of accomplishment and most of all feeling like she pleased her creator... to her her reward was going to be given by her creator. Since, all acts are selfish weather or not we want to admit it, we should concern ourselves with whether or not or actions benifit ourselves and also since eveyone is indirectly connected (socially) we should concern ourselves with whether our action will benifit or harm other people. Love is good though.

And as far as worry's.... although her interpretation of her data may have been innacurate and may indirectly do more harm than good, because, even though their are alot of dangerous men out there, when you look at the total amount of men there are only a relatively small percentage of men that are doing it., but she has pointed out that she wasn't trying to harm anyone ,that she disagreed with the original poster, and that the likely culprit of rape and violence wasn't the stereotype of a socialphobe....
And let's face reality... there are alot of dangerous men out there... it is our responsibility- both men and women to change that.

Haven't we already gone over all of this?

 

[wistful_dementia]

the prior post was by me.

 

[Anonymous]

Men are naturally more aggressive (except for the over-socialized, timid, simpering "men" with social anxiety), and they didn't become so because they watched too much big time wrestling.

If we want to drum their aggressive, heterosexual impulses out of them, we will never be truly affective, and we will just warp them into becoming the over-socialized, insecure, timid "men" that populate this board.

The trick is to make space for these male qualities -- the aggressiveness, the active sex drive, the adventurous spirit. And this, many feminists and people who decry rape seem unwilling to do. They would rather try to brainwash and emasculate men, and turn us all into simpering fools.

Society in general relies on these aspects of men -- aggressive, testosterone-charged men are our fire-fighters, oil explorers, police officers, prison guards, astronauts.

And, authentically feminine women like at men like these who are authentically masculine and like what they see. I know TONS of women who like their men to be aggressive and bold. These women are themselves extremely confident with their sexuality and femininity, and see men as this desired counterpart. When they see a polite, inhibited, simpering, timid "man" -- it's a huge turn-off.

 

[Anonymous]

Ouch. And let's face it, you don't have a boyfriend either. Perhaps that's for the best -- I know for certain that I would find you intolerable as a girlfriend. Let's shut down the dialogue and make sure we continue to hate and fear each other without understanding or loving one another. Social phobia is hatred of others as much as it is fear of others, as your posts clearly demonstrate. Go ahead and inflict pain on me if it makes you feel more comfortable.

 

[Oz]

social anxiety is the 3rd most common psychological disorder in the USA, some 12 MILLION people have this disoder. OF COURSE some rapists are going to have this condition, there are also plenty that dont.

 

[Horatio]

Question... now that Ive established that because Im a male (and a socialphobic one at that) Im obviously evil and a danger to women, what am I to do now?

Is it better to be locked up before I commit the crimes that the percentages and society say that I am sure to do?

I have never committed rape, nor do I wish to, but by the disgusted looks I seem to get from females all the time I feel as though I have.

 

[Anonymous]

So, you're a woman who is phobic of men and is a lesbian -- any you're happy this way. In my view, you are not a healthy, authentic, feminine woman. That's not to say that I can't respect you as a human. If you're happy with your life, then you're happy and I wouldn't want to change your mind about anything -- least of all not your sexual orientation.

But, from your standpoint, not one thing you say about relations between genders is credible. You can certainly speak about your own experiences and the experiences of others like you, but you don't have a decent point of view on relations between the genders generally.

And neither do I, considering that I fear women and assume that they hate me. But I am genuinely working hard in my "long distance learning course" to become healthy and balanced. I recognize that I have a problem and am trying hard on all fronts to remedy it.

 

[LilMissTragic]

WTF is going on, I have just reread this thread numerous times and have realised everyones just getting paranoid about everyone elses point. Geez people, chill please, i'm getting a headache!

 

[Anonymous]

Hatred, paranoia, insecurity, touchiness -- welcome to social anxiety.

No -- there were a few statements that were edited out of the posts and that's why it doesn't quite look like it follows.

 

[tommydog]

WTF is going on, I have just reread this thread numerous times and have realised everyones just getting paranoid about everyone elses point

iv noticed that about this whole forum and iv only been here a day or two :lol:

but thats fine i understand, one persons on one end feeling fine\feeling great making gags and answering things with best intentions, and the guy with the anxiety issues is on the other end feeling not real great, reading the post and thinking this bloke is bieng some kinda patronising wise ass, so yer i was like that aswell i remember :lol:

 

[wistful_dementia]

I'm with you woman... you have a perfect right to have your say. One thing about getting over SA is learning that and not being intimidated by people who may accuse you of being wierd or a bitch or whatever. Life is about growing and learning, not avoiding. that is obviously only a temporary band-aid to avoid anxiety. Be strong, if men don't like that then maybe a world full of strong women will have to teach men the benifits of a strong woman. A world that has more strong, but empathetic men may help.

 

[Horatio]

suggesting that all males are dangerous and socialphobic males are rapists waiting to happen makes you a strong woman? Get a grip! Having your say is one thing, belittling others for having a penis is another. Like all the other guys on this forum I cant help it that I am male, I was born male! I understand that a lot of you woman have had bad experiences with guys and I think thats sad, but that doenst mean all guys are like that! Its bad enough to have all women reject me, but now they are saying its MY fault that they chose to date jerks instead!

 

[wistful_dementia]

yes, I agree w/ you horatio, I think we all including worry have come to that agreement. Maybe not the original poster, but maybe she never intended on being fair. Being strong requires a person man or woman to be fair... other wise we would just be taking the easy way out. I'm not assuming that she isn't strong already, but it took courage for Worry to come on here and risk a bunch of defensive men scream at her and it also took courage for her to admit that she doesn't agree with the original poster. Anyways, I understand your defensiveness but there is no need in kicking around a point that has already been made. Let's get over it already! We all should be more fair.