aizome
Active member
alright so. i've known this guy, let's call him.. alphonse. i've known him online for ages now, and we've always been pretty close friends apart from a few fights that sort of lessened my trust in him.
we seem to have ironed out our differences, but recently he's been really wanting to meet me, he knows about my SP + how i haven't left my house for three months, and wants to help me.
since i can't seem to go outside without having a breakdown these days and using the phone illicits a similar response, he's kind of my only hope here. apart from my dad(who has been really horrible lately, he supports me, but the way he cares is really ****ed up and counterproductive), i have no other family here, no friends etc. i know i need therapy, but i'm in a really difficult situation.
so, alphonse proposes baby steps. he suggested he come around to my place with flowers, i open the door, accept flowers, he says hello, then leaves. then to gradually build up contact from there. ordinarily this kind of care and interest in helping me would make me melt into a tiny puddle of goo, but the flowers confused me. i asked him "why flowers, why not something else?" he then suggested chocolates. and since my birthday's in a week, he's buying me this massive pink stuffed bunny rabbit.
those aren't typical gifts. right? i'm not imagining things?
to complicate matters, when he's drunk, he often tells me he loves me and would take care of me and other incredibly confusing things. and when he's sober he says "i'm more open when i'm drunk, i can't express myself well normally". i brought up this girl he met at uni once but hasn't seen since (was related to the conversation somehow) and asked if she was pretty - he said yes - so i asked him why he didn't ask her out. he said "why would i when i have you to talk to?" he's shy with girls, but i didn't really expect that kind of response.
to make matters worse, i once let down the old barriers and showed him some affection a while ago. probably a couple of months by now. but it made him.. back off. suddenly he was intent on letting me know it was platonic.
but now all this has happened. he has conceded that he's really indecisive before, but i'm finding it difficult to trust someone that isn't straightforward with their feelings.
as for me, i really like him. but i'd rather die than get hurt again. the last guy i was with used me pretty ruthlessly, so this is kind of a big leap for me.
. help me figure him out.
we seem to have ironed out our differences, but recently he's been really wanting to meet me, he knows about my SP + how i haven't left my house for three months, and wants to help me.
since i can't seem to go outside without having a breakdown these days and using the phone illicits a similar response, he's kind of my only hope here. apart from my dad(who has been really horrible lately, he supports me, but the way he cares is really ****ed up and counterproductive), i have no other family here, no friends etc. i know i need therapy, but i'm in a really difficult situation.
so, alphonse proposes baby steps. he suggested he come around to my place with flowers, i open the door, accept flowers, he says hello, then leaves. then to gradually build up contact from there. ordinarily this kind of care and interest in helping me would make me melt into a tiny puddle of goo, but the flowers confused me. i asked him "why flowers, why not something else?" he then suggested chocolates. and since my birthday's in a week, he's buying me this massive pink stuffed bunny rabbit.
those aren't typical gifts. right? i'm not imagining things?
to complicate matters, when he's drunk, he often tells me he loves me and would take care of me and other incredibly confusing things. and when he's sober he says "i'm more open when i'm drunk, i can't express myself well normally". i brought up this girl he met at uni once but hasn't seen since (was related to the conversation somehow) and asked if she was pretty - he said yes - so i asked him why he didn't ask her out. he said "why would i when i have you to talk to?" he's shy with girls, but i didn't really expect that kind of response.
to make matters worse, i once let down the old barriers and showed him some affection a while ago. probably a couple of months by now. but it made him.. back off. suddenly he was intent on letting me know it was platonic.
but now all this has happened. he has conceded that he's really indecisive before, but i'm finding it difficult to trust someone that isn't straightforward with their feelings.
as for me, i really like him. but i'd rather die than get hurt again. the last guy i was with used me pretty ruthlessly, so this is kind of a big leap for me.
. help me figure him out.
