Meeting people (is not easy)

[blinkybill]

I don't have much of a social network at the moment, so I am finding it difficult to get out and meet new people. I think the loneliness of not having people to talk to is a core reason for the depression which I am currently experiencing.

I've been trying to brainstorm ways to get out and meet new people, but I end up talking myself out of most of these ideas by reasoning that they are too intimidating, and with the negative self-talk which I am sure many of you are accustomed to. I've thought about taking up a new sport, volunteering, or joining a university club (not sure if I would be too old for this, having graduated a couple of years ago), amongst many other ideas. I know that eventually I will have to give myself a good kick in the pants - to feel the fear and do it anyway.

What ways have people here found for meeting new people? What methods for meeting people have you found least intimidating? I know that sharing a common interest would seem to give plenty of conversational material, but with my lack of social skills it is a suprise that I can remember my own name or how to say hello

 

[SilentProphet]

I don't know man Im still lucky that i still have all my friends that i grew up with from high school, so they been there with me through my SA. I never had to worry about making new friends or anything. thinking about it now i wouldn't be able to make any new friends.

 

[Jacky1980]

Hi,friends
try giving up any methods, and don't expect a good result. Like you jump into a swimming pool without knowing how to swim, do the things you like rather than take it as a conscious method to deal with it. with the time goes by, you will be naturally desentitisized.

Mentioned about is only a piece of recovery experience shared, if you find it too difficult to practice yourself, don't force yourself to do so.

good luck!!

 

[allochtoon35]

Finding some social hobbies (not phobies please ) is really working. A language course (or another course), theatre or sport clubs are good. I have social phobia too but i do not have difficulties for meeting new people. My problem is public speech, to get attention in public (for example i can not dance without being drunk ), reading and talking at meetings or in the class.

 

[Richey]

meeting people when you have no friends is difficult, lets face it, because most of the time they already have a group of close friends, so when your new onto the scene its a nail biting process.

good radiohead reference too :wink:

 

[nicky1972]

Hi,

Just want to share a short story of how I made a new friend last year and how when your not looking and just do something you enjoy can make a difference.

I stayed at a hotel last year, just for a night with family and then went horse riding the next day ( i couldnt ride at that time was a novice)

The person that took us out though was friendly and invited me then the following week to go riding with the regulars. For what was just meant to be a one night break, in a haunted place lol. Then turned into me making new friends, I had always had a deep love of horses. A year and a half later, I have lessons elsewhere now though im still with the friend I made at the first stables. How did it happen, I couldnt contain my laughter when she dismounted and slid on the ground seeing her welllies under the belly of the horse was just to much, I did know though she hadnt hurt herself. So what im trying to say is, you will meet and connect with people when you least expect it, the key is to find something that you do enjoy, that does interest you, the new people you then meet at these places, will share the same likes as you, making conversation that much easier.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

First of all I have to agree with nick1972. I ve notice when you go looking for things like friends and dates you never find them because they are realy just a side effect and not destanation.

You have to do things you enjoy like shoping or exircising and you will soround your self with like minded people. You said you like to do solitary things. I am guessing you spend time on the computer. Go tho electronic stores and dont buy just look around and youll find others who like spending time on computer.

Lastly my biggest sugestion for you is to join social networking sites for people with anxiety. There are other sites beside Social Phobia World. I am also on a site that like a my space for people who are shy. I am actually meeting about 10 members in person this weekend.