Meeting and talking to people for the first time

[LostMyself]

Hello, I'm new to SPW

For a long time i have been tortured by my own shyness, or maybe it's not even shyness. I work at a night club running audio, visuals, and lighting so there's always new people around me, and a lot of regulars that i still haven't introduced myself to. Even after direct eye contact neither of us says anything and that's that. There's been so many times when i've really wanted to meet someone, but just couldn't make the jump to saying what i have in my head. Some situations are different than others. I don't think it would be so hard, provided i had what i wanted to say to each person all the time.. I think i'm just bad with introducing myself, and making small talk, or continuing the conversion. It really sucks when there's someone you know you will never see again, and the opportunity to talk to them is staring you in the face, sometimes for a prolonged period of time, and still neither person says anything at all. Every once in a while someone will talk to me, and i can of course continue conversation from there usually, and everything is fine, but I am rarely the one to say anything first. Is my body language that closed up? I didn't think so. I find it hard even to say things to people i know when there's a lot of other people around. I really feel like prolonging introductions and conversation with people i see over and over is only damaging a potential relationship i might have with them... I don't feel like I'm really that bad in the social game.. I think i just lack confidence.. Confidence gained through productive efforts...

The moment i hate the most is when people are meeting each other around me, and after they're done with the meet n greet i make eye contact with them and neither of us says anything at all, and we move on.... Need to make a whole notebook of potential things to say to different people in different situations...

Anyone have any tips to help break myself through the ice, and just talk to anyone anytime? I think a lot of this type of problem with a lot of people can be handled by thinking aspects of communication and socializing through, and implementing what you come up with in the pre game, but it's so hard to do, to make the jump while your in the situation...

Thoughts?
Thanks

 

[Silvox Black]

It would seem that the basic problem of your trepidation towards social interaction stems from a lack of self-confidence and perhaps a less than preferrable understanding of how a social environment functions. I would suggest finding and going out with friends in town. Learn from them on how things should be. I also find that you may perhaps be a bit too analytical of a situation when you attempt to speak to someone. The key to this is relaxation and the spur of the moment will assist you in speaking. Learn to be at ease and regain your confidence as well as self-esteem and you should be able to overcome this.

 

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

Beleve in yourself Jesus is the way

 

[Noca]

Welcome to SPW!

 

[LostMyself]

Thanks for the replies.. Your right about the confidence silvox. I found an ebook called How to talk with confidence in 20 days or less by Peter Murphy, and damn is it good. Pretty much exactly what i need. I'm only a couple days in, but i highly recommend it to anyone here.

 

[Jin]

It would seem that the basic problem of your trepidation towards social interaction stems from a lack of self-confidence and perhaps a less than preferrable understanding of how a social environment functions. I would suggest finding and going out with friends in town. Learn from them on how things should be. I also find that you may perhaps be a bit too analytical of a situation when you attempt to speak to someone. The key to this is relaxation and the spur of the moment will assist you in speaking. Learn to be at ease and regain your confidence as well as self-esteem and you should be able to overcome this.

agreed....