Meatcake's boring journal

[meatcake]

Okay, I wanted to have a blog somewhere, and I figured I could put it on this site somewhere, hopefully without bothering other people too much. And hopefully the admin won't mind. I don't know if this will work out, or if I should do it on livejournal or something else. Feel free to read, ignore, or comment.

I'll leave this first post for a table of contents, to be edited as needed.

 

[meatcake]

spw

i think posting on spw makes me nervous. it just triggers all the usual anxieties about dealing with people. and then to try to deal with anxiety i seek more positive feedback. which means more posting. which means more anxiety, etc. bleh.

maybe it's good practice though - exposure therapy. learn to deal with anxiety by accepting it, as in mindfulness. i suppose it's like group therapy. only the group is like 100 people.

so. i'll try to limit posting to one or two a day. maybe that'll help.

 

[sabbath9]

Re: spw

Hey, I'm into mindfulness too. Congrats on the blog.

 

[meatcake]

Re: spw

Hey, I'm into mindfulness too. Congrats on the blog.

Thanks - yeah mindfulness seems like it will be helpful with anxiety and such. I tried meditation a long time ago but could never get my mind to be quiet. But I like what wikipedia says -

The mindfulness itself can take the form of nothing more than focusing on three successive breaths. This approach is particularly helpful when it is difficult to establish a regular meditation practice.

Mindfulness - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[meatcake]

spw2

yeesh, i come on here to avoid anxiety and keep generating more for myself. i imagine i'm not the only one though, as when i was first browsing this site i noticed a lot of people who had only posted like 7 times or something, and then disappeared.

maybe a limit of 4 posts would be more realistic though - there are always so many interesting posts on here. and i still have all these questions i want to ask people. hopefully they won't get sick of me

i dunno. i know sp is a spectrum, and the ones who have lighter forms of it will tend to talk more, and then it's like being in any other social situation. ie viewing 'everyone else' as being social, and you're the odd one out. i suppose that's kind of a well-ingrained way of viewing the world.

 

[meatcake]

spw

geez, spw is a good way to lose track of time. and i didn't even got to post any of the questions i have, or reply to some threads i meant to. they tend to vanish off the radar somehow, and then you have to remember to search for them.

oh, maybe i should post that one question i have though.