meaning of social anxeity and definition of fear

[gascar]

did you ever stop to think about what SA and fear really is?
what is this thing that affect our lives so much?

the feeling of fear, is actually a reaction mechanizem of the brain to certain events or situations, what you call fear, is actually some pulse that sent from your brain to the body and this make the felling of fear.
can you fucking believe it? this is what we base our action upon it! this electrical pulse that sent to our body!

and you know what is SA?

our brain have 2 slots of memory, the brain remmembers events and he remembers fellings. and he connect between the event to the felling.
so if for exemple you pass the street and almost get hit by a car, you of course feel FEAR, the brain stores this and connect between the event to the feeling, so when you pass the street the next time, you automatically feel FEAR because of this event.

so, what we have is fear from people, from social groups. everytime we see or meet with people we feel FEAR.
so this mean that SA is actually a mistake that the brain did unintentionally that he connected the feeling of fear with situations that involves people.
we just have wrong feeling to the wrong events. :lol:

so all we need to do is to correct this and replace the feeling of fear with feeling of relaxation

its not something i red in a book, its a theory of mine based from books i red about psychology and how brain works.
but its look right to me

 

[Angel_Of_Death]

Makes sense. I guess the question is, how do you replace the feeling of fear with the feeling or relaxation ? You have any ideas ?

 

[gascar]

yes, CBT.

you see, you have your consciousness mind and your unconsciousness mind.
what the consciousness mind thinks, the unconsciousness mind execute.
this mean that if you think low of yourself and feel less then others the unconsciousness will do anything in its power (and it has great power) to execute this thoughts, this mean you will feel nervous around people, you will shake, stutter and everything you know from SP.
people who think high of themselves, project those thought to the unconsciousness mind and they act with high confidence.

actually what you need to do is to drift new thoughts, good thoughts, it means repeating yourself you are worthy, and have confidence and more sentences like that, and slowly the unconsciousness mind will start acting on those new thoughts.
CBT works on those areas.

 

[Lexmark]

You sound like you on the same treatmant path as me at the moment
It doesnt feel like fear though
I guess thats why its so energy draining though
keeping up tight in a sence of fear state

 

[faithnomore]

The problem is that when i act all "relaxed and confident" it feels forced, and fake. It's also the kind of thing i hate to see in other people (they put on that whole LOOK AT ME I'M SO COOL act). It winds me up!

 

[Lexmark]

The problem is that when i act all "relaxed and confident" it feels forced, and fake. It's also the kind of thing i hate to see in other people (they put on that whole LOOK AT ME I'M SO COOL act). It winds me up!

Instead of putting on an act like I used to im trying at the moment to focus on the fear and be in the moment
Its irrational and we know this so mabyt anaylizing the fear itself could help
WHO KNOWS

 

[faithnomore]

The problem is that when i act all "relaxed and confident" it feels forced, and fake. It's also the kind of thing i hate to see in other people (they put on that whole LOOK AT ME I'M SO COOL act). It winds me up!

Instead of putting on an act like I used to im trying at the moment to focus on the fear and be in the moment
Its irrational and we know this so mabyt anaylizing the fear itself could help
WHO KNOWS

I've been told that many times, but it doesn't work for me. It's like my beliefs are so strong, i just dont feel comfortable around people i dont like the look of...

 

[gascar]

faithnomore, first of all, great nickname 8) FNM Rules

well there 2 ways, you probably heard the statment "fake it till you make it", so yes at first it will be felt like your forcing yourself and you dont really believe all the new thoughts and that's fine, but with time it will be natural, it will be a part of you, this is the normal way of living, living with confidence and enjoy social meetings, it is not normal to fear people. it is not something you are born with.

the second, a friend told me that the best way is to surrender to your feelings, instead of fear and telling yourself in the head "no, they must not know i feel fear, i must act relaxed and feel good" although you are feeling fear, instead of fighting just give up, surrender, and let the feeling flow say to yourself something like "i feel fear,ok, thats fine" the surrender will make you feel better.

Lexmark, what treatment path are you on? are you with psychologist, or learning this stuff by yourslef? what did you do already?

 

[faithnomore]

faithnomore, first of all, great nickname 8) FNM Rules

well there 2 ways, you probably heard the statment "fake it till you make it", so yes at first it will be felt like your forcing yourself and you dont really believe all the new thoughts and that's fine, but with time it will be natural, it will be a part of you, this is the normal way of living, living with confidence and enjoy social meetings, it is not normal to fear people. it is not something you are born with.

the second, a friend told me that the best way is to surrender to your feelings, instead of fear and telling yourself in the head "no, they must not know i feel fear, i must act relaxed and feel good" although you are feeling fear, instead of fighting just give up, surrender, and let the feeling flow say to yourself something like "i feel fear,ok, thats fine" the surrender will make you feel better.

Lexmark, what treatment path are you on? are you with psychologist, or learning this stuff by yourslef? what did you do already?

Yeah, faith no more is my favourite band.

Thanks "gascar" for including me in the debate. (alot of the time on these forums i feel ignored) Maybe i should try doing what you said, and just "fake it until i make it".

Its just putting it to practice that will be a struggle, because there are so many factors that make you appear confident. And i can never seem to address that!

 

[Argamemnon]

I don't think one can fake confidence. In order to have confidence you have to make profound changes in your life and get results. Having friends, having a social circle, finding a job you like, and finding a partner wouldn't hurt either! If you have those things then you will not only "appear" confident, but you will FEEL confident. Easier said than done, I know.