Boby
Well-known member
Hy everyone,this is my first time posting here.I'm not going to tell my real name here but you can call me Boby,i'm 22 years old and i'm from Europe.I have a allot of problems and things that i don't like about my life,i could write about it for hours but i will resume to the ones that matters the most to me.Since this forum is named SocialPhobiaWorld is pretty obvious that my biggest problems are about social interaction: i have almost no friends(if i would like to host a party i don't think i will call more than 3 people),my relationship with the opposite sex (forget to say i'm a boy)is almost not existing ....so yeah you guess it 22 year old virgin,never had a girlfriend,kissed a girl when i was like 13 was my first and last time.I've detected that one thing is the source of all my problems and that is I'M A BIG COWARD.I'm really afraid of failure, almost any kind of failure not only social interaction failure.And this makes me really unhappy because the truth is inside me i don't feel like a coward,when i have my mind at ease i'm ready to go trow the fires of Hell to get to something but when i'm faced with the reality my mind just freezes like a Myotonic goat.Until recently i didn't gave to much attention to the problems i have because i tried really hard to distract my self from reality by playing video games almost non-stop,when i was not playing games i was watching TV,when i was not watching TV i was reading books,i was doing everything just to not remember how horrible my life is.But 2 weeks ago i decided i can't go on like this so i stopped playing games( i deleted my digital copies and destroyed my cd's/dvd's),stopped watching TV and reading books.This didn't go well ,since i had nothing to do i started thinking about my life,allot,and i was filled with regret and sadness and in no time i end up in a depression.Now i have problems sleeping(usually at 12:30 PM i was already sleeping, now i stay awake until 4-5 AM and even had nights that i haven't slept at all),in some of those nights i even cried,i lost my appetite(for 3 days i ate only a small pack of crackers),i even had suicide thoughts and at day i don't do anything but thinking about my life which is not good because i'm senior year in my collage and i can't concentrate on my studies(for example yesterday i was planing to read a 300 page course and i only managed to read 30 pages all day).So i'm really down right now,i'm planing to go to a psychologist when i will have time but i'm skeptical about it.So i wanted to ask you guys what do you feel about psychologist treatment,is it worth it?Also i really wanted to speak to somebody about this,so thanks in advance for listening to my rant.And i'm sorry for any grammar mistakes,i'm not a native English speaker.