Malaysian with SAD

[Canres]

Hi, I need someone's advice again. I know I am a mess right now. One of colleagues is a pain in the ***. He gave me headache again today because he knew I am against him the most. But with SA, I find it hard to deal with this. Though a few of my colleagues still back me up now, I won't really count on them if they found out I have SA, as they are used to judging people based on their ability. So I felt miserable again today. And while I was at another place having to work with people, I couldn't help but trembled. I don't know how much people have noticed but I can only tell myself that I have got to accept who I am right now.

 

[Lavinialuna]

Hi, I need someone's advice again. I know I am a mess right now. One of colleagues is a pain in the ***. He gave me headache again today because he knew I am against him the most. But with SA, I find it hard to deal with this. Though a few of my colleagues still back me up now, I won't really count on them if they found out I have SA, as they are used to judging people based on their ability. So I felt miserable again today. And while I was at another place having to work with people, I couldn't help but trembled. I don't know how much people have noticed but I can only tell myself that I have got to accept who I am right now.

Don't tell anyone that you have SA because it is a label, and no one needs a label put on themselves. Just be yourself and do what you can do to the best of your ability- after that, you can say that you did your best. Try to muster the strength to stand up for yourself to the person causing you trouble (if it's called for) while remaining respectful. I have found from my own experience that although it is awkward and uncomfortable, being assertive is empowering and self esteem building. If you shake, sweat, or blush it's okay. Stay true to yourself and you will get stronger for it. I hope things work out for you.

 

[Canres]

Don't tell anyone that you have SA because it is a label, and no one needs a label put on themselves. Just be yourself and do what you can do to the best of your ability- after that, you can say that you did your best. Try to muster the strength to stand up for yourself to the person causing you trouble (if it's called for) while remaining respectful. I have found from my own experience that although it is awkward and uncomfortable, being assertive is empowering and self esteem building. If you shake, sweat, or blush it's okay. Stay true to yourself and you will get stronger for it. I hope things work out for you.

Lavinialuna, thank you. Your words are always a comfort to me.
Today I was in the same situation like yesterday but I trembled more obviously this time and embarrassed myself. Those embarrassing moments just can't get out of my mind. I always tell myself to practice to control my SA whenever I am in a social situation, but I always fail to do that and those experience just build up on one another, making me more and more convinced that I can't do anything the next time I am in the same situation. I lose more and more confidence with each setback.
I always wonder whether I should just let everyone know that I have SA. But like you said, people are going to put a label on me. But I have a presentation coming in a few weeks and most of the people I know would be there. I guess even if I don't tell them, people are going to find out too because I have so little faith in myself right now that I don't think I can make it through this time.

 

[Canres]

Hello Canres, have you seen a psychiatrist or a psychologist before for your social phobia? I think it'll help. I have seen a couple in Penang but I think I'm the only one that came to see them because of social phobia. Not many Malaysians has it but I had talk to a few in SAS. But they are all at least better than me. I didn't work for many years and had to depend on my parents. You can talk about your issues here if you has any problems. We might not be able to help but at least you'll feel better.

Hey, Milo. I actually have SA longer than I have realized. It was mild in the beginning and I had no idea about SA whatsoever. I knew something was not right and it got worse and worse. I didn't know what to do and just tried to find something on the internet. I found a place called peace clinic in KL. I talked to one therapist from that clinic on skype but I felt like she can't really help me so I stopped after talking to her a few times. And I went to see a psychiatrist not long ago but it was disappointing as the psychiatrist just asked me a few questions and gave me a prescription. It felt more like I was treated for common cold. Is it always like this with a psychiatrist? Did you take any medicine?
Sometimes I feel like I have almost reached a point where I am not sure what is going to happen next. I could break down anytime and not being able to work. And the thought terrifies me even more because even though it's hard for you to have to depend on your parents, but I am the one who is supposed to support my family.
I hope you guys don't mind if I keep on writing about my negative emotions. I am having a tough time right now and when I feel overwhelmed, I just need to write something or I would really breakdown.

 

[Canres]

We are all here because of SA.
Hey How is it going?
How long have you having SAD?

Hi, Nazim. Not doing so well.
Have mild anxiety for a long time. Got much worse about two years ago.

 

[Lavinialuna]

Lavinialuna, thank you. Your words are always a comfort to me.
Today I was in the same situation like yesterday but I trembled more obviously this time and embarrassed myself. Those embarrassing moments just can't get out of my mind. I always tell myself to practice to control my SA whenever I am in a social situation, but I always fail to do that and those experience just build up on one another, making me more and more convinced that I can't do anything the next time I am in the same situation. I lose more and more confidence with each setback.
I always wonder whether I should just let everyone know that I have SA. But like you said, people are going to put a label on me. But I have a presentation coming in a few weeks and most of the people I know would be there. I guess even if I don't tell them, people are going to find out too because I have so little faith in myself right now that I don't think I can make it through this time.

I only tell people who I am close to about the social anxiety, but in your case if you work with these people everyday and you know them well, then they might be accepting and understanding of your situation. I guess you will never know unless you decide to tell them. Even if you did tell them and it effected how they treated you, it's not the end of the world. I guess I would say trust your gut... and also, although you don't have a lot of faith in yourself at the moment, and you are thinking of your own past embarrassments, remember that no one else knows what you are thinking (thank God!) and it probably doesn't look as bad to them from the outside as it feels to you on the inside, know what I mean? I try to keep things in perspective when I am feeling the most anxiety. I take 3 seconds to stop, look around, ground myself and put things into perspective. I'm rooting for you!

 

[Nazim]

Hi, Nazim. Not doing so well.
Have mild anxiety for a long time. Got much worse about two years ago.

You are in the right environment and circle of people
We are all here to help each other.
What bothers you the most?

 

[Canres]

I only tell people who I am close to about the social anxiety, but in your case if you work with these people everyday and you know them well, then they might be accepting and understanding of your situation. I guess you will never know unless you decide to tell them. Even if you did tell them and it effected how they treated you, it's not the end of the world. I guess I would say trust your gut... and also, although you don't have a lot of faith in yourself at the moment, and you are thinking of your own past embarrassments, remember that no one else knows what you are thinking (thank God!) and it probably doesn't look as bad to them from the outside as it feels to you on the inside, know what I mean? I try to keep things in perspective when I am feeling the most anxiety. I take 3 seconds to stop, look around, ground myself and put things into perspective. I'm rooting for you!

Hey, Lavinialuna. Even though I am still feeling terrible most of the time right now, but I want you to know how grateful I am to you for responding to my posts. I would have been more depressed without posting here and seeing your replies.

 

[Lavinialuna]

Hey, Lavinialuna. Even though I am still feeling terrible most of the time right now, but I want you to know how grateful I am to you for responding to my posts. I would have been more depressed without posting here and seeing your replies.

Awwww, I'm glad to help. I'll be here if you need me. You can feel free to private message me if you need to talk. Feel better soon

 

[Canres]

You are in the right environment and circle of people
We are all here to help each other.
What bothers you the most?

What bothers me the most is probably my habit of hyperventilation. I got used to rapid and shallow breathing, even when I don't feel anxious. It's like I can't breath properly anymore ever since I have anxiety. So when I am in a social situation, it makes me even harder to control my racing heartbeat because I simply don't know how to take a deep breath and calm down. I get panic much more easily. I wonder why I can't breath normally anymore, when it's so natural and automatic for everyone else. And I became super sensitive to the possibility of embarrassing myself. For example, when I'm talking to people, if I paused for a second, I would start to wonder whether people would think something is wrong with me.

 

[Nazim]

What bothers me the most is probably my habit of hyperventilation. I got used to rapid and shallow breathing, even when I don't feel anxious. It's like I can't breath properly anymore ever since I have anxiety. So when I am in a social situation, it makes me even harder to control my racing heartbeat because I simply don't know how to take a deep breath and calm down. I get panic much more easily. I wonder why I can't breath normally anymore, when it's so natural and automatic for everyone else. And I became super sensitive to the possibility of embarrassing myself. For example, when I'm talking to people, if I paused for a second, I would start to wonder whether people would think something is wrong with me.

I very well know what you experience right now.
In fact, I have great exercise and video for you.

You should start doing deep abdominal breathing and holding right posture.

1) Start practicing deep abdominal/stomach breathing. It is going to be uncomfortable at first but it's an exercise, so do it. This type of breathing gets more oxygen in your blood, as well as, is the most natural way to breathe (infants breathe to their stomach not chest)

2) For the right posture to open up those neurotic holding patterns by doing these stretches in the video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhJbXPvSDKE

 

[Canres]

I very well know what you experience right now.
In fact, I have great exercise and video for you.

You should start doing deep abdominal breathing and holding right posture.

1) Start practicing deep abdominal/stomach breathing. It is going to be uncomfortable at first but it's an exercise, so do it. This type of breathing gets more oxygen in your blood, as well as, is the most natural way to breathe (infants breathe to their stomach not chest)

2) For the right posture to open up those neurotic holding patterns by doing these stretches in the video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhJbXPvSDKE

Thank you, Nazim. I certainly need a lot of practices. It's just that it will take time and I am a bit overwhelmed right now. I feel less and less capable of coping with the things I need to do right now.

 

[Nazim]

Thank you, Nazim. I certainly need a lot of practices. It's just that it will take time and I am a bit overwhelmed right now. I feel less and less capable of coping with the things I need to do right now.

Sometimes all we have left to do is just to plow through the hardships and keep believing. I know it is tough but this is life.

 

[Canres]

Sometimes all we have left to do is just to plow through the hardships and keep believing. I know it is tough but this is life.

You are right, Nazim. We can never run away from it. If we don't keep on trying, we are going to end up being like this forever.

 

[milo001]

I can't never do breathing exercise esp when I'm anxious. So today my hands tremble when I'm in public and I'm not even alone. My dad notice it as well. I rarely had it since I'm unemployed but now it come back.

 

[Canres]

I can't never do breathing exercise esp when I'm anxious. So today my hands tremble when I'm in public and I'm not even alone. My dad notice it as well. I rarely had it since I'm unemployed but now it come back.

Hi, Milo. I don't know if we have similar problems. For me, my biggest problem is over breathing and the habit of holding my breath. This has become my breathing habit now and I already forgot how I used to breathe. Sometimes I over breathe till I feel lightheaded. Like what Lavinialuna and Nazim have suggested above, practicing deep breathing is probably the most important thing for me right now. If you think you have the same problem, go and look for yoga breathing in YouTube. And the link Nazim posted above, even though I have tried it only once, I think it helps a bit and I am gonna continue doing it. I watched a video from someone who had anxiety before, and she said the first thing she did when she woke up in the morning was to breathe in, hold it for several seconds, and breathe out. Do this several times.
I have experienced trembling and those embarrassing moments. The only comfort to me is to be able to write here honestly about my feelings. You can always post something here whenever you are upset because we are all here to help each other.

 

[milo001]

Hi, Milo. I don't know if we have similar problems. For me, my biggest problem is over breathing and the habit of holding my breath. This has become my breathing habit now and I already forgot how I used to breathe. Sometimes I over breathe till I feel lightheaded. Like what Lavinialuna and Nazim have suggested above, practicing deep breathing is probably the most important thing for me right now. If you think you have the same problem, go and look for yoga breathing in YouTube. And the link Nazim posted above, even though I have tried it only once, I think it helps a bit and I am gonna continue doing it. I watched a video from someone who had anxiety before, and she said the first thing she did when she woke up in the morning was to breathe in, hold it for several seconds, and breathe out. Do this several times.
I have experienced trembling and those embarrassing moments. The only comfort to me is to be able to write here honestly about my feelings. You can always post something here whenever you are upset because we are all here to help each other.

Thank you Canres. I used to went to General Hospital in Penang for counselling. But I only went for a few times because all she ever said is to practice breathing and I remember write out positive words to encourage ourselves. I don't know why but I don't really like breathing exercise. Are you working right now?

I'm thinking of seeing a psychologist again because I have been quite negative lately. Being unemployed for 5 years make me felt worse about myself.mg:

 

[Canres]

Thank you Canres. I used to went to General Hospital in Penang for counselling. But I only went for a few times because all she ever said is to practice breathing and I remember write out positive words to encourage ourselves. I don't know why but I don't really like breathing exercise. Are you working right now?

I'm thinking of seeing a psychologist again because I have been quite negative lately. Being unemployed for 5 years make me felt worse about myself.mg:

Like I said, my biggest problem is my breathing. I have to practice it whether I like it or not because I think it will help a lot in overcoming my SA. I don't know what your biggest concern is. We all have SA, but maybe what is bothering us the most is different for different people. So you might need to figure out what your biggest fear is.
Yes, I can still work right now. But I am also a bit overwhelmed lately and I am completely unsure what is going to happen next.
If you are too overloaded with negative emotions, do talk to a psychologist. And I learned from the internet that doing light exercises everyday and engaging in anything that can make you laugh could be very helpful, like watch a comedy when you are feeling down.

 

[Canres]

So I have a big presentation coming up in two weeks. In the past few weeks, I tried to do some breathing exercises. I did feel slightly better than before but when I am in social situations, my heart is still racing and I could feel a surge of adrenaline. I think I still need a long time to practice my breathing and everything. But I can't avoid doing this presentation. So I came up with this idea: if I start to tremble when I am holding the microphone even before I start to talk, would it be a good idea to give an excuse like my hands get really cold in the winter, that's why I am shaking...? Please share with me your experience because I am really nervous right now.

 

[Canres]

I just had my rehearsal for my up coming presentation. I was too afraid to use the laser pointer because I was worried that my hand is going to shake. But it's so weird because I just stood there talking, trying not to lift my hands.