Making friends at Uni

[emily123]

I've been at uni for 3 months now and I'm really struggling to make friends. I'm living in halls and during freshers week I went out and tried to socialize but I found it so hard. I'm naturally very shy but have been able to make friends in the past easily. It's really quite depressing. Admittedly I haven't made much of an effort to join societies and clubs but I find the thought of going to these places alone terrifying.
I have nothing at all in common with any of my flatmates, and as I'm so different from them I find it hard to act like my normal self. I think my friends from home who i've known for years would say i'm quite outgoing when i'm around them, which is how i'd like to be around people at uni but I'm finding it so difficult.
I've become a sort of recluse now, I barely come out of my room. I'm not being dramatic or paranoid but I swear people avoid talking to me because conversations with me are really awkward and boring. I can't muster up any banter with anyone because I'm so depressed about the whole situation. It's got to the point where I've just given up all together with making friends. I'm just wondering how i'm going to get through the next 3 years of my course with no friends, I have acquaintances, people who i'll sit with at lunch or in a lecture but no actual friends who i'd go out with or spend time with outside uni. I don't know what to do, anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

[Phil_i]

Identical situation. I made some friends in the 1st year, who i see occasionally, but its been pretty hard for me to keep friends also... Which uni are you at?

 

[Harleyq]

So far, I've averaged one friend per year at uni (I'm in my 3rd year). I have yet to figure out how to successfully develop a group of friends.

 

[emily123]

I'm at a Uni in London. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with the same problem! I would be greatful for just one good friend, someone I could talk to about things or rely on but everyone seems to have already made their groups of friends and I feel like I'm intruding if I speak to anyone new.

Which uni are you at Phil?

 

[Phil_i]

I'm at Nottingham Trent
Tis okay I guess... Its hard at first; everyone acts as if the people they've just met are their best friends then they bitch about them behind their backs. Haha at least that's my (probably negative) outlook on it...

 

[emily123]

You're right, especially girls, they're most bitchy. I did a year at another uni previously (but quit and changed course) but for my first year I managed to make a really good group of friends, who i'm all still in touch with. But there was this one girl who we were friends with at the beginning but things got bitchy in the group and she got bitched out of being in the group. Which looking back I should have spoke up about because although the girl was annoying she didn't deserve that. So your outlook is definitely not unfounded!

What are you studying btw? Do you think your course affects how easy it is to make friends?

 

[Weirdo]

I'm on my first year and so far I only have a handful of acquaintances. The others must think I'm weird when I sit alone at lunch even though I know they are there too.

 

[Phil_i]

English with creative writing... I did media for a year then quit. Definitely easier to make friend on more organized courses i feel... What do you study?

 

[emily123]

I'm on my first year and so far I only have a handful of acquaintances. The others must think I'm weird when I sit alone at lunch even though I know they are there too.

Yeah I do that sometimes, I sometimes just prefer to sit alone to avoid awkwardness altogether.

 

[emily123]

I'm studying Physiotherapy and the uni is a small medical one which is annoying because there are only so many people you come into contact with. Physios tend to be fit, athletic and sporty, I'm the complete opposite! Also most people on the course are older than me, not just a few years but like people with kids my age.

 

[Square_Eyes]

I'm in my second year of uni now and I've made no friends whatsoever. Having to live with five other people in the first year was insanely difficult. Now I live alone.

 

[Phil_i]

Lol yeah that cant' help...
There's thousands of students my age in notts but i'm still failing... If that's any consolation

 

[emily123]

Why do you think that is? Do you suffer from shyness or a social phobia?

 

[emily123]

I'm in my second year of uni now and I've made no friends whatsoever. Having to live with five other people in the first year was insanely difficult. Now I live alone.

I've found it so difficult to live with my flat mates i've actually decided to move out. I won't be living alone in this new place but the girls I will be living with are medics on placement so are barely there so it will be like living alone I guess. I doubt it will help my friendless situation but at least I won't have to deal with the social awkwardness that comes with living with people i've tried to be friends with but failed at.

 

[pprince440]

I have acquaintances. It doesnt get furthur than that because some keep distancing themselves from you if you try to get any closer, some already in their little own groups, some doesnt let you in to their social life.

 

[SpLynx]

I made my uni friends at a party our class made in first year. I gathered all calm people from a party to one group and we became a group for the rest of our studying years. I miss them now that studies are over and I am in another country. I am really happy to have found them.

 

[Honda]

Take is easy and dont think too much about it... I had the same experience and what let me down is this mentality you are having... Just go with the flow.. You will meet alot of different people from asshole, nerds, party animals, etc.. A matter of some time to get proper friends...

 

[Tempus35]

I thought I had developed some friends the first year, but it seems they were temporary. As with the post about the people tending to be fit etc, it is similar here. The town is an outdoors town and so many people are outdoorsy.