Make Yourself Ugly to Avoid Attention

jaim38

Well-known member
Do you make yourself look uglier to avoid getting people's attention? I do. I used to have long hair and wear girlier clothes (skirts, pink shirts, shorts) and get random whistles from guys on the street. There were also guys who try to grab my attention but I ignored them so they got angry. Well, I'm tired of it all. For the past few years, I had my mom cut my hair short every month so that I look more like a tomboy than a girly girl. I also refuse to put on makeup. I used to go out with 1-2 visible pimples on my face, though I don't do that anymore because I would get weird stares. Now, I don't get catcalls, whistles, or anything of the sort.

*important note: I'm not saying that I'm pretty or attractive. I don't want to sound like I'm boasting in this thread. I think I am average. Where I live, men seem to have no problem whistling to all kinds of women, whether they're young, old, average, pretty, etc. My mom got flashed at once, and she's middle-aged. I just find catcalling, whistling, etc offensive.*

I think my brother feels the same way. He used to have longer hair and he looked handsome at times. I've seen people stare at him. But, I could tell that he didn't like all that attention, so now, he shaves his head bald very frequently. I think he went to the extreme because he also taped newspaper all over the mirror in his bathroom so now, no one can use that mirror. I also mentioned in my earlier post that he dislikes it when people stare at him.
 
Last edited:

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
Well I don;t have to make my self look ugly lol, and I'm a guy so don;t have the kind of problmes you do. ALthough i do understand about how annoying that kind of stuff would be. I had friends and family that would cat call like that and if I was around them when they did it I always felt real embarrassed and kind of ashamed.
 

JackOfSpades

Well-known member
When I was a teen I transferred into a really small school because of my social anxiety. And I was pretty popular there for a little while. Despite anxiety I was an animated guy, made people laugh, dressed a little loud (lol) etc. I cared a lot about being attractive too. Then one day a few years ago I was at the park and this cute girl was hanging around. Not talking to me, but clearly looking to approach me. And I remember it clearly, the anxiety and impeding sense of doom. And I thought why of why do I have to be noticed, she's going to come over, I'm gonna look inept, and hate myself. And the same idea you mentioned came to me. If I don't want girls like her to come over, then I'm better off blending in or being undesirable.

Long story short, I wish I'd never come to that idea. I ended up developing a bad case of avoidant personality and I feel like a shell of the person I described myself as being. I learned to mute everything about me to the point that being that guy I was before became uncomfortable. And at some point it became very isolating, and it's not a switch I've been able to just flip back on. It's getting better, but instead of being this grand solution, it became another issue for me to work on.
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Aw, that's kind of sad. Because you deserve to feel beautiful for yourself. But whistles and all that attention, it does sound like more than a person would be able to handle.

I do this also. Mostly because I know that if I think I'm attractive, I won't have a reason to be avoiding relationships. I'm so scared of that part of life, if I just stay a bit overweight and wear unflattering, torn clothes, I know nobody will be considering it either.
 

mikebird

Banned
WHOOOOOAAHH!! :eek:

:sad: I did that 14 years ago. I published my CV with various agencies and ever since I've spent every waking moment of my entire life finding online IT jobs

I've become an online celebrity. Neither phone ever stops ringing, unless one is in use. Due to 14 years of this torment and torture, listening to a spotty 16-year-old callcentre twat with a vocabulary of "hello!? hello!? hello!? hello!? " asking what <my name> is. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOOOOORR?!
I wished I'd stayed in my anonymous capsules of emptiness, or had been 100% selective to only make my identity known by only Sir Richard Branson, Lord Sir Alan Sugar or Her Majesty Elizabeth II of England.

I turn up for interview (1 in a quadrillion) in a full 3-piece suit with tie & cufflinks after a haircut. It takes 10 seconds to be rejected. :kickingmyself:

Even full-on phone outbreaks of crying out loud fury doesn't put off any recruiter. Throwing the mobile at the wall several times results in an instant landline call

I'd spend plenty to doll myself up with extra lights, fake smile and acting for a Skype call rather than my current hovel of a world based on 24/7/365 telly fone callz.

It makes it difficult to wear a hockey mask, baseball bat and bring a nailgun
when attending an interview, although I'd like to. I try to pursue my fortune, but the only main skill or attribute I have left is hate
 
Last edited:

jaim38

Well-known member
Aw, that's kind of sad. Because you deserve to feel beautiful for yourself. But whistles and all that attention, it does sound like more than a person would be able to handle.

I do this also. Mostly because I know that if I think I'm attractive, I won't have a reason to be avoiding relationships. I'm so scared of that part of life, if I just stay a bit overweight and wear unflattering, torn clothes, I know nobody will be considering it either.

In the past when I used to have longer hair, there were several guys that told me they liked me but I rejected them all. I felt bad afterwards, even though I told them very nicely that I have no interest in them. I'm not friends with any of them anymore. One guy told me that a girl and a guy can't just stay as friends because it wouldn't be appropriate. I understand, because I know it would get awkward. Also, it seems to me that once a guy gets married, that guy would try to distance himself away from his female friends so as not to arouse jealousy in his wife.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
WHOOOOOAAHH!! :eek:

LOL! I agree that we have to look our best for job interviews, but sometimes being too attractive can work against you especially if you're a woman applying for male-dominated jobs such as head of security, chief of IT, etc.
 
Top