M o t i v a t e m e

[Smurfette]

Hello. Just me here. Hey, I need a favor. I am struggling with making conversations at work. Even eye contact sometimes is hard. What can I do to be motivated to move/change/act?! How do I push myself? What self-talk is needed?

"Just do it" Nike says. PSH yeah, wish it was that easy.

I go thru every day the same. Minimal contact with anyone as much as I can...Wish I was different. But I love my comfort zone. I'm safe there and no one judges me there...

 

[deleted user 1]

Make a small list of things to say that will start off conversation and just dive in. Here's a site that will help you flesh out that crazy plan XD

Conversation techniques

 

[Danfalc]

Yeah rehearsing what you can say is a good start.But I think it's also important you try and shift your focus from internal to external.

Anxiety makes us tend to become hyper aware of how were feeling,and focus on all the negative thoughts that go hand In hand with anxiety.If you can start trying to switch your focus back on to the actual conversation or situation it should help.

It's hard to do at first,but it becomes easier with time.I also think breathing exercises can help...it sounds silly,but our breathing is the first thing which gets affected my anxiety and starts the vicious cycle.It's not a cure by any means but it can make you feel a little more in control if you can regulate your breathing when nervous.

As for what self talk is needed,it's maybe worth writing down the type of thoughts which you get during a conversation..Like I tend to think I will always make an ass out of myself and people will find me boring or weird.Once you start to write them down you can start to try challenging them with more realistic ones

 

[Hastings & Main]

^On top of these, listen to what other people in your work area are talking about, do a bit of research or try to learn something about it that hopefully at least interests you, and bring up a point or two, bang, you're in.

 

[Looking_in105]

actually, what puts me off a lot of the time is not being sure if a colleague is too busy to talk. i can't take the embarrassment of them saying "i dont know, im busy" etc, which has happened in the past. or sometimes they just ignore what i said. that really has put me off initiating conversation.

 

[Smurfette]

here's my problem now...I have been "snobby" for so long that now when I start a conversation, it seems fake plus ppl don't seem to be interested in what I hafta say

 

[just wanna b normal]

uhh ok heres your motivation you said your self you wish you was different theres your motivation and your second problem uhh just be yourself or people will think your fake i would say try to understand you condition (SA) more to help you overcome it! research! : )

 

[Danfalc]

here's my problem now...I have been "snobby" for so long that now when I start a conversation, it seems fake plus ppl don't seem to be interested in what I hafta say

Have people actually said that to you though?Or is this something you just worry other people might think.

 

[Smurfette]

Danfalc, ppl won't go out and say it but I can totally sense how they act, etc. Everyone thanks for the input and personal experiences too.

 

[Hastings & Main]

If you're truly worried, just slowly ingratiate yourself back in. Smile more, make small positive comments more often. Don't give up, that's the trick: eventually you'll be seen as not being fake & as trustworthy. As Acegame stated, it's the perfect place to train.