Low self-esteem?

[Angel4444]

I have very little self confidence, especially when I'm with a group of friends. Instead of concentrating on having fun, all I can do is compare myself to them, which is stupid. I can't take compliments either, and I'm not just doing it for attention or whatever. Anyone else have a low self esteem? Is it connected to anxiety in any way?

 

[dottie]

i am insanely insecure about everything. but. i have learned that when someone compliments me (whether i believe in/agree with them or not) i just quickly say thank you. i don't want to debate with them over it or draw any more attention to something that already makes me feel uneasy. i already look insecure enough.

 

[Chod77]

I know exactly how you feel. Whenever I go out in public all I do is compare myself to those around me. Low self-esteem is definitely what is causing my social anxiety. I know what your saying about the compliment thing too. When ever I am complimented ,albeit it isn't very often, I always tell myself that the person is lying.

 

[chris87]

I have low self-esteem, which makes social situations so difficult for me.

 

[Agitprop]

Pretty much the same thing over here. However, I agree with dottie and i think that if you get complimented, you absolutely must accept it and show that you appreciate it instead of rejecting it and arguing with the person. Even if you think the person is lying, you should realize that you have low self esteem and will think its a lie regardless, so you can't judge your own perception here. Plus if you never accept compliments, nobody will ever compliment you again because they know you wont believe it, and the cycle of low esteem continues. Just make a leap of faith and believe the compliment, and that will actually help you gain self esteem.

 

[freestylemonster]

To be honest comparing yourself is one of the worst things you can do if you want to one day get over your SA. It just makes you ask "Why can't I be like that guy??" And since there is no answer to that question you'll be stuck asking it for ever. The best thing to do is stop comparing, and start telling yourself that you are just a different person who finds pleasures in different things. Nobody's good at everything, but everybody's good at something!

Also, (most) people don't just make compliments to other people as a joke, they will usually mean it. It's been my experience that most people are pretty nice and wouldn't make an insulting joke about you to your face or anything...And if they do then fuck them! They don't know what they're talking about and chances are you weren't the first person they've insulted, so there are other people who hate them just as much as you

 

[JonnyD]

i have a very low selft steem, it's hard even to think of myself without pointing some problem in the first place, but i've realised that THIS IS NOT NORMAL, because no matter how good the things i do are, i'll always find a way to kick myself, i could find things so stupid to put myself down that the other day i found myself looking back and saying - What a stupid thought!

low self steem is unatural, for example, i know i'm not attractive, i'm the worst shape i've been in my life actually, but that's not excuse stop living or be afraid of doing things

 

[nephatitus]

i used to think i had low self esteem and that made me feel bad

but then i realized i wasnt trying, so i tried and now i have some back

 

[wherecaringhappens]

I have very little self confidence, especially when I'm with a group of friends.

For me it is the opposite, I feel more secure and confident when I'm with friends. And even though I don't talk much, I see that my anxiety is less. Maybe it is because I get the feeling that others think I am cool because I am hanging out with friends. But when I am alone it is completely different and all of a sudden I feel anxious and self conscious.
I just need to be able to duplicate the same demeanor around friends to when I am alone.

 

[PsychoCharlie]

just get some fuckin drugs down ya and cheer up. that what i do.
but never smack, i fuckin hate smackheads

 

[getbornagain]

just get some fuckin drugs down ya and cheer up. that what i do.
but never smack, i fuckin hate smackheads

Drugs are not the answer. Coke and bud made my SA way worse. I'd recommend not doing drugs.

 

[Marci074]

This is the same problem I have. Every time I am involved in a conversation all I hear in my mind is "you are stupid, things you say are stupid and dumb, nobody is interested, what you say it's not important, everybody else is more important than you, just stay quiet".

After I finish a conversation, I literally worry for a long time about the things I've said. I can't give myself a break!!

It's like a freaking bully in my head all the time!! I just wish this bully could transform into punching bag so I could beat it up.

Lately, I've just try to tell myself that it's ok to say stupid things and that the most important thing is that I don't isolate myself. I have to find a way to praise myself. So, I started rewarding myself for little things, such as initiating a conversation.

 

[Shyguy4]

Of course we all have slow self esteem or else we would be here on this website haha. I can't take compliments either because I can't tell whether or not the person was being sacrcastic or nice but come on now do you give compliments to people for the fun of it?

 

[BashfulDoll]

I've always had low self esteem. prolly since realizing what it was. When I was in middle school I thought I was fat and all the other girls were skinnier than me. [like most girls] Looking back I found an old pair of jeans i wore and they were size 0! I was a 0 and thought I was huge but wasn't. Just shows you that your mind can play tricks on you.

Today I still has low or no self esteem. I honestly don't know how to get any. Does anyone?? Im the type of person that needs reassurance first, then I'll believe it. I need to be told Im pretty by many people or not fat but skinny. But I would feel awkward asking someone if I'm pretty cuz maybe they'd say no. So Im stuck.