Lost my closest friend whos a girl and it really hurts.

[James Ryan]

Howdy fellas, just wondered if any of you had been in this situation/ how you dealt with it.

To cut a long story short I've been best friends with this girl I met at middle school for roughly about five years, for the last three years i've been madly in love with her, never felt this way about anyone ever before. Although shes never said nothing can't happen its pretty clear on her part that it won't (she does know how I feel)....and i respect that so I don't try it on or anything, I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. So I just try act normal and how friends should be.

It's gone from us being good friends and always doing stuff together and constatant phone calls and sms messages, to no contact at all, she won't ever get in contact I always have to sms her/myspace her/call her.

Its getting really unhealthy on my part, I find myself crying over nothing (manly eh!? lol), constantly thinking about her and not wanting too see any of my friends, the only person i'm interested in is her. Theres no reason why we shouldnt be talking, its just gets me down that I'd accepted that we can't be together but now we can't even be friends, its really eating at me!

We're meeting up in a fort night, I really just want things to go back to how they were when we were in school, being really good friends. Shes the type of girl who doesnt like to talk about feelings so talking to her about it will push her away more, really don't know what to do.

Have any of you been in this situation? how did you deal with it? and what did you do to make it how it was?

Thanks, James.

 

[DanFC]

I sure was in this situation. I was great friends with a gal all the way through high school, then I started making very obvious signs that I wanted to be more than friends. She didn't respond, so, me being stupid not picking up the hint, I directly asked her. And of course, rejection. It was really awkward between us after that.

Fortunately for me, it was towards the end of senior year, and I've only seen her once in the years that have followed.

Since I got lucky, I don't really know what to tell you. Maybe make up a story about how you're interested in this other girl, and ask for her advice? That may relieve some of the tension. Kind of sophomoric, I know, but it's the best I got.

 

[market.garden]

I've been in a similar situation myself, and its not easy.

Obsessing over someone and forcing yourself to be in their company when you know 'nothing will ever happen' can be one of the most self-destructive things a person can do.

I worked with a girl once, and thought about her all the time, tried to meet up with her whenever I could etc, and then one day just came out and told her. I knew she would reject me but I had to get it off my chest. It made me feel awful all the time I saw her and wanted to be with her, and it was hard after the inevitable rejection too.

Three years on and she's married and I've not spoken to her in years. Now I cringe when I think about the time I told her. So in a way, I regret telling her because I now know I would have eventually gotten over her and we could have been friends.

These kind of situations are the sort where time really is the best healer. So just try to occupy your thoughts with other things or even people, and over time you might find yourself able to just enjoy her company as a friend and nothing more.

 

[Pookah]

You have to start thinking why you would like someone so much who clearly is not showing the same amount of interest. There is playing hard to get and such but at some point it can only be because there is no chance there and you should move on.

 

[Nack]

My friend, you are love-sick. Choose your actions carefully, or it might be your last...

 

[206Raider]

My friend, you are love-sick. Choose your actions carefully, or it might be your last...

oh **** that sounded poetic n/h.

Yeah I've been in that situation and it hurts and it was the most painful experience of my life, a girl stole my heart when I was 15 and ran away with it so now I'm heartless, f*** her anyway haha.

I think I'm done with love ya'll for this reason, I don't ever want to be left feeling that low or even suicidal again.

 

[Nack]

oh **** that sounded poetic n/h.

Yeah I've been in that situation and it hurts and it was the most painful experience of my life, a girl stole my heart when I was 15 and ran away with it so now I'm heartless, f*** her anyway haha.

I think I'm done with love ya'll for this reason, I don't ever want to be left feeling that low or even suicidal again.

Mr. Brown can sometimes do surprising things

"Its better to love then to not love at all.." -Quote

I'm not sure whats worst, having constant heartbreaks or ending up alone and miserable... Just saying.

 

[206Raider]

Mr. Brown can sometimes do surprising things

"Its better to love then to not love at all.." -Quote

I'm not sure whats worst, having constant heartbreaks or ending up alone and miserable... Just saying.

Yeah tough one to call. For now I'll stick to being by myself, I don't need anybody, I haven't for 21 years, don't need to start now. I will let love find me.

 

[James Ryan]

Thank you for your replies everyone, appreciate the feed back! Sounds like in the situations you've described that times a great healer, hoping that thats the same in my situation!