no1
Banned
Is anyone just a complete mess like me? I mean don't get me wrong I'm doing my best to get myself more organized, but I find myself losing track of everything. I feel EVERYTHING has piled up on me. Ie, My life especially, and even less general and more specific things, like, in the house, etc. I'm dealing with school, work, and having to help my old folks,and much more. Have to keep up the house, etc. all by myself. I live with my dad so it's just me and him and he doesn't usually do much either, he likes to just sit back and relax most of the time especialy when he comes home from work and on the weekends since he "doesn't have much time". Neither do I but he still thinks I have all the time in the world. I feel like I easily lose track of things too, just just this past week, I lost a folder I bought for school and 2 notebooks which had important notes in them. What the hell happened to them? Am I going crazy!?
Not only that but I also feel like I have just lost track in life? That because of whatever issues I had to deal with growing up, and because of SA, SP, etc. I have simply not moved ahead like everyone else. I never had a social life growing up, and still don't have a "social life", but I want to and am doing my best but it turns out that my life is just behind everyone else. I never had a girlfriend, so I'm practically a virgin at 23 yrs old even tho I had a few sexual encounters they were never really fulfilling and never were complete. Never had friends, never did all the other things "normal" people have done. On top of that my mindset after high school completely changed after I got into alternative thought and from there i Just became more and more and more and more isolated. I'm just on a COMPLETELY different level than most and I'm just at the mercy of this whole damn mess, and that right now I just... can't do social things, and it kills me because this is what I crave, and NEED. But I simply can't, and not just because of my life being a mess... it's mostly that my history lacked social integration that now, it's just damn near impossible to become more socially integrated when everyone expects me to have experience on my belt, have gone through certain situations, already have a social life, etc. and skills that I can't even pick up now that I'm an adult because out in the real world people are vicious and moronic that it just makes me unable to make things better. There's not one place I can go to get help with my situation. I guess it's just because it's "unheard of". In fact it's just probably inconceivable, that someone could just think "how in the hell does this happen, it can't be true." Either that or it's just never understood properly.
Not only that but I also feel like I have just lost track in life? That because of whatever issues I had to deal with growing up, and because of SA, SP, etc. I have simply not moved ahead like everyone else. I never had a social life growing up, and still don't have a "social life", but I want to and am doing my best but it turns out that my life is just behind everyone else. I never had a girlfriend, so I'm practically a virgin at 23 yrs old even tho I had a few sexual encounters they were never really fulfilling and never were complete. Never had friends, never did all the other things "normal" people have done. On top of that my mindset after high school completely changed after I got into alternative thought and from there i Just became more and more and more and more isolated. I'm just on a COMPLETELY different level than most and I'm just at the mercy of this whole damn mess, and that right now I just... can't do social things, and it kills me because this is what I crave, and NEED. But I simply can't, and not just because of my life being a mess... it's mostly that my history lacked social integration that now, it's just damn near impossible to become more socially integrated when everyone expects me to have experience on my belt, have gone through certain situations, already have a social life, etc. and skills that I can't even pick up now that I'm an adult because out in the real world people are vicious and moronic that it just makes me unable to make things better. There's not one place I can go to get help with my situation. I guess it's just because it's "unheard of". In fact it's just probably inconceivable, that someone could just think "how in the hell does this happen, it can't be true." Either that or it's just never understood properly.
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