Looking to have some dialogue with other agoraphobics...

mattcr

New member
(Before I start, I have found a number of these agoraphobia forums/chat rooms. I am basically posting the same intro message about me on all of them, so pardon the repetition if you also frequent multiple sites).

I am looking for people just to have an online friendship with at this point.

I have been agoraphobic for over 15 years now, although I am sometimes able to travel with certain family members/friends in the right situations. I am probably what can be considered to be "situationally housebound" - if I can't find a safe person to go with me to a place I can't go alone, then I won't go and will stay home, isolated and alone.

I used to have a perfectly normal life until this hit me in my late twenties. I had lived in many different places including NYC, subways on a daily basis, lots of friends and partying until 4AM and beyond. The last job outside the house was a great one, I had to leave about $250,000 in stock options behind because this affliction was causing me to spiral downward. I figured at the time I was still young enough to get over this and claw my way back.

Now I am 45 years old, and have basically had no relationships since then. I have made a few friends here and there along the way, but basically I hold on the best I can to the realtionships I made when I was "normal". I am quite close with my siblings/in-laws, so that helps. Although they are growing increasingly frustrated with me as the years roll by, as I am with myself. I look at my Facebook page and pictures from my past, and it almost seems like another person. I used have parties of 300+ people growing up at my folks house, now that seems miles away.

Thing about me is that if I'm feeling good, you would never know anything is wrong with me - I have become a true master of disguise. And since many of my old friends have become quite successful themselves, I am still exposed to some cool stuff, when able (which is NOT very often).

Despite all this, I still hold out hope that someday I can still go back to living a somewhat normal life.
 

<ladybug>

Active member
My situation is similar to yours in some ways, but different in others. I have had agoraphobia for a few years and over that time it has slowly gotten worse. I am not housebound, but like you i am a "situational" agoraphobic. Although i prefer to be alone if i go somewhere. If i'm with a group of people (even my close friends) in an unfamiliar area, i worry that i will get sick in public. Although I have noticed the anticipation of going out is worse than actually being in public.

Anyway welcome to the forum.:)
 

nicole1

Well-known member
Thanks for sharing. I still try to have a normal life outside of this and hope to still achieve the goals I've set for myself. But I do struggle. Like after a bad semester, I have been holed up at home. I kinda go out here and there but mostly stay in and hide from the world.

I hope you find your normal life too.
 

Lccska

Well-known member
My life fell apart when I was about 36. I had 2 young daughters though, and I HAD to get better. I was a role model and needed to show them the ropes. I was off work for about a year. I was terrified to leave the house. I don't have agoraphobia, but I have agoraphobic features. I took small steps every day. I made myself go out and drive. Even if it was just to the end of the block. My job was about 25 miles away. It was tough, but I had to do it. Of course, I am taking an antidepressant and anti anxiety meds. They helped tremendously. Still do. My life was back on course, but not perfect in about a year. I'm now 51. I love my life, and I still have the illness. Set small goals every day. If you can't accomplish the goals, remind yourself you tried. Don't let a single day go by without trying to do some small step. It's very liberating. It gives you hope. When you start making progress you won't want to stop.
 

rustyrus303

Active member
i wish i could describe this problem to people without it... just tryin to go to the shops my heart go crazy n i cant breath... yunno! i felt a kinda normal for a while when i still had my girlfriend, but now im just depresed n alone.. i still hang out with friends but i feel alone without a girl. it was much easier being sad when i couldnt see happiness
 
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