longing for romance, my soulmate.

[StrawberiStars]

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[Hoth]

If I had a lover I would need only them.

That's setting up failure. Unless he's an insecure controlling egomaniac, he won't want to be the only thing that makes you happy.

I don't care about anything but love and romance

You make yourself sound extremely boring (granted lots of us are boring, but not by design). If you're nothing -- no interests at all -- then there's nothing there to love. Love is supposed to be a connection between two whole people, you can't just be the connection without being a person on one end of it.

If I meet someone I don't care to have anything to do with them unless they are my supposed soul mate.

And how are you going to find out, if you don't have anything to do with them? Do you expect them to wear a big "I am your soul mate" sign? You can't know someone at a glance.

I believe that when the time is right we will cross paths, because it's destined. Maybe that is a little ridiculous to think.

Well it's a staple of fiction. Everyone likes to feel that one change could solve everything in life. I don't think it's reality, though.

Anyhow, I believe if you look too hard for something you'll never find it. Focus on other things and maybe you'll find someone you love in the process.

 

[Akira2O]

I've always loved the idea that there's someone somewhere out there that I was meant to be with, someone that I was separated from before I was born.

I've been very much alone my whole life, I think it would be a dream come true to finally find this person.

I prioritize finding him over things I should probably pay more attention to. I care very little about college and careers, which is what a person my age (19) should be focusing on, I guess.

I want to feel close to someone as I've never experienced any closeness with anyone. If I had a lover I would need only them. I like the idea of obsessive love, being with someone that absolutely needs me as much as I need them and not ever being able to be away from them. Maybe it is just me, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't need a whole lot of friends. I've had fake friends as a kid but I've always desired just one single person to be with forever. I'm always hoping to find a guy that desires the same thing, someone that wants to devote the rest of their life to romance. Even though I can't exactly say what romance is.

There's nothing in this world that truly makes me happy. Every activity I've participated in has left me so empty. The only thing that has ever been appealing to me is love. And it's so embarrassing to reveal that about myself.

I'll be going to community college soon and it's in the same area I've always lived in so I can expect to see the same kind of guys I grew up with and have no interest in. I guess the guy I'm picturing is not real. He's shy, emotional, a virgin and doesn't care about sex, indescribably odd and different(like me), sensitive, feminine, and wants to give himself to me entirely.

If I were to actually try and get out there and meet guys, they would be guys who are probably all very social, have had girlfriends before, etc. They'd just be guys I feel I need to impress and I wouldn't feel that way with someone I'm destined to be with. I've never met anyone on the same wavelength as me. The thing I don't like about meeting guys is having to first have conversations about things I don't even care about. Movies, music, books etc. I don't care about anything but love and romance and that's only to experience it.

Because I've been so focused on finding him, I don't care at all about interacting with females. In high school whenever I had girls wanting to befriend me and while interacting with them, all I could think about is how I'd rather be with a guy. It must also leak into my body language and how I act since I totally cannot get into other females or guys I'm not interested in. If I meet someone I don't care to have anything to do with them unless they are my supposed soul mate. Though sometimes I think maybe my soul mate is female.

Sometimes I think about the billions of people on earth and how it seems impossible to find him, but I believe that when the time is right we will cross paths, because it's destined. Maybe that is a little ridiculous to think. Also I can't help but think maybe I'm just nuts and desire this so much because my parents never loved me, I don't know. But then I feel I know myself so well in that I'm kind of special in a way that I have a soul mate, not to say that other people don't have them.

I just want to find him. I don't want to just be some guy's girlfriend or wife, just some other aspect of someone's life right along with career, sports, school, etc... I want to be the absolute center of their life and them mine.

Love is an illusion is all chemicals, I'm actually experiencing the symptoms and they fucking suck. You say you don't want to be a trophy wife or gf, then you need to find other things you love interesting that will make you more individual.

 

[freestylemonster]

I gotta agree with Hoth on this one. I mean I pretty much match your description "shy, emotional, a virgin and doesn't care about sex, indescribably odd and different(like me), sensitive, feminine, and wants to give himself to me entirely. " except that I'm not feminine and I did go all the way with a girl once..

Really though, would you want a boyfriend that centers his entire life around you and ONLY you?? And if you don't talk about your interests/hobbies and stuff what the hell are you gonna talk about?? It would be like dating an empty shell that just fallows you around everywhere.

 

[StrawberiStars]

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[jordo]

wow...you completely described me too. i want all those things too....especially the being totally obsessing about finding a soulmate. thats all i care about...all i think about practically. and for the most part...that person was imaginary because i wanted the perfect person. i'm very picky...i mainly go for women who are at a higher standard of looks...and i shouldnt be cuz i'm no prize myself. well i did think of other things but in the last month ive been obsessed over a girl (i'm a guy). she is like way out of my league and out-going...but for some reason she has an interest in me :?...dont really know exactly what interest right now...but hope to find out soon. i dont really like the out-going part but since shes hot...who cares? lol. i also want someone shy and a virgin...i think she is one but not for very long lol. and also want someone to love/need me back as much as i do. right now...i think shes the "greatest thing ever" cuz i'm a nobody and for her to even talk to me is a miracle. and i think shes trying to make something happen...altho we dont really connect...but at least shes trying to see me as much as possible. sorry to talk about my personal experiences...didnt mean to take away your spotlight lol. ...i'm just trying to make a point and i failed miserably lol.

i disagree with the others that there is no substance to you if thats all you care about. i mean cant we just like someone just for the sake of liking someone? doesnt matter whether they have no other interests or cares. to me thats the problem with the world...people want only people who are like everyone else. i mean i want to be with someone who wouldnt mind just doing nothing together...not even talk that much. just being together is everything. and until i find that person...nothing else matters. thats why i cant get my life together and do what i'm supposed to be doing because ive been on this earth long enough to know that just cuz you go through the motions of life (college, career, etc)...it doesnt guarantee you will find true love...which to me is the most important thing and always has been to me :?. i dont want to work my ass off and deal with other people (customers/co-workers) my whole life unless i have whats most important to me...i have no incentive.

i agree with you about friends of the same sex but for other reasons. i dont care to talk to guys...i dont have the time or energy to waste on them. if i had guy friends...all i would talk about is girls lol. like i like sports...but i cant talk about it or care to :?.

but if i did disagree with you on something...its wanting to have other friends. i know i cant be everything to someone...so i need to spread myself to other people just so i wont smother someone. i'd want the same with my soulmate so she would have other people in her life so she wouldnt go stir-crazy just being with boring old me lol.

i'm sure you will find your special someone. youre still young. give it some time. but not for me...its my last chance for romance haha...that rhymed...or is that part of a song? lol

 

[freestylemonster]

Alright to StrawberiStars and jordo, I got a piece of advice!

DON'T OBSESS OVER IT!!!!! Every time I go out somewhere I have a thought in my mind "Maybe I'll meet the girl of my dreams!!!" Well just thinking that jinxes it and it never happens! Well one time I got invited to this one girl's dorm room to play cards with her and her friend. It didn't even cross my mind that I'd meet the girl of my dreams that night, but her room mate came home a little later.....and now I gotta say that like 2 months later The room mate that I wasn't even expecting IS the girl of my dreams!!! She doesn't want me though but still....

Also yesterday I went swimming with a bunch of people, again, not even thinking about girls. Well I met a girl and talked to her a bunch! If I had a phone I woulda asked for her number and she seemed pretty enthused about me so I bet she woulda given her number to me!

The moral of this story? Don't look for your soul mate everywhere or you won't find him. He'll be in the place you LEAST expect!!!

 

[jordo]

^^ aww thats too bad about the roommate.

well i think everyone is different and has a different approach to doing things. from what i read about you...youve had successful experiences in relationships. strawberistars and i are oddballs (well at least i am). we just have a different view of how we want romance to happen.

but i know what you mean. i think i jinx myself from getting someone. when i try to make things happen...it never does and when i least expect something to happen it happens. lol :?

 

[turtlett]

haha yes, that's probably the problem of it all.
Nobody could ever love me because there's nothing to me. There's no substance to me and I have nothing to offer so I'm barely a person at all.
All the guys that have ever wanted to date me soon learned that about me and stopped being interested.

I guess that's one thing to work on, I don't know how though...

I also agree you should try to have other interests. A while ago I started thinking that I was starting to become like that because finding someone was starting to become all I thought about too. I suggest you try to get back into your old hobbies or find new ones and just try to keep yourself busy so you won't think so much about not having found your soulmate yet. It works for me a little, although sometimes I still think how I wish I had someone special to enjoy it with.

 

[JonnyD]

you're putting your all happiness in the hands of another person, worst your putting your hope in someone that you have not found yet,

my opinion about what's love don't matter, because if you don't take in your hands your own happiness, you'll be incomplete with yourself, and this is a void only you can fill

 

[StrawberiStars]

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[recluse]

Your expectations are way too high. You say that he would have to be the most beautiful guy you have seen, can't you settle for less? otherwise you'll end up dissapointed.