Lonely...want a girlfriend

[Thelema]

Me and Hollyann are just friends right now but we could easily be more. We're both obsessed with one another.

Thats dumb. If you both like eachother why wouldn't you make it happen?

1 I'm not the aggressive type

2 Even tho we both like one another we're still not comfortable with one another. You know what I mean?

3 Even tho my mom has been telling her all about me and stuff and I told her phones freak me out and I have social anxiety she still doesn't know really about me. I'm quiet and again I'm still not completely comfortable around her yet.

I don't see any reason to rush anything

I just got back from hanging out with her. She said she had to write a story about her 2 favorite people and she wrote it about me and her other friend that we hung out with. I thought that was cool.

 

[mienaino]

1 I'm not the aggressive type

2 Even tho we both like one another we're still not comfortable with one another. You know what I mean?

3 Even tho my mom has been telling her all about me and stuff and I told her phones freak me out and I have social anxiety she still doesn't know really about me. I'm quiet and again I'm still not completely comfortable around her yet.

I don't see any reason to rush anything

I just got back from hanging out with her. She said she had to write a story about her 2 favorite people and she wrote it about me and her other friend that we hung out with. I thought that was cool.

SocialRetahd was subtle, but perhaps without tact...
I think what he was trying to say is that there's bad anxiety and good anxiety. The bad anxiety is between you and Hollyann, and the good anxiety is the fuel for obsession. They are competing, and in the end, one way or another, it's always up to you to decide which one wins out. Correct me if I'm wrong, SocialRetahd (and if I'm putting too many words on your keyboard).

If nothing else, you have one thing going for you. You rock like it's nobody's business. I would say, don't make it happen, but let it happen.

 

[Thelema]

1 I'm not the aggressive type

2 Even tho we both like one another we're still not comfortable with one another. You know what I mean?

3 Even tho my mom has been telling her all about me and stuff and I told her phones freak me out and I have social anxiety she still doesn't know really about me. I'm quiet and again I'm still not completely comfortable around her yet.

I don't see any reason to rush anything

I just got back from hanging out with her. She said she had to write a story about her 2 favorite people and she wrote it about me and her other friend that we hung out with. I thought that was cool.

SocialRetahd was subtle, but perhaps without tact...
I think what he was trying to say is that there's bad anxiety and good anxiety. The bad anxiety is between you and Hollyann, and the good anxiety is the fuel for obsession. They are competing, and in the end, one way or another, it's always up to you to decide which one wins out. Correct me if I'm wrong, SocialRetahd (and if I'm putting too many words on your keyboard).

If nothing else, you have one thing going for you. You rock like it's nobody's business. I would say, don't make it happen, but let it happen.

Its just that even tho she is outgoing and does talk a lot she is shy and nervous around me because she likes me. Even tho we've hung out and stuff we still haven't gotten really that close. When she asked if I wanted to come over to her house I was thinking it would just be me and her she had Morgan there. We sat in his car after he picked me up and she begged him to stay until 11. Then the next time it was a few more friends and tonight it was Morgan. How do I make her more comfortable around me? I like her a whole lot but I'm not comfortable around her and I don't know how thats going to change besides just being around her more. Is it sa or just the normal nervousness? She seems to hold me as one of her closest friends out of nowhere really being that she isn't really that comfortable around me.

A couple days ago she messaged me that she was tired of guys she didn't like asking her out. I thought she was trying to say "why the hell aren't you going out with me?" So I said "just tell them you're already going out with me" and she said she didn't want to lie.

She told me she's been trying to think of legitamite (spelled it wrong I'm sure) ways of hanging out with me EVERY day and hoped that didn't freak me out. So she wants to see me all the time but isn't cool with just being with me besides going out to the movies with me. What does that mean?

Now I'm thinking if I don't do something soon she's just going to see me as another male friend and I'll lose my chance with her.

I told her about a dream I had about her (kissing dream) and she used it against me today in a joking way in front of Morgan. Some things I would rather Morgan didn't know. I feel everything I say is going to be told to Morgan and then her mother and then her mother tells mine. I ran 5 miles today and I sent her a message bragging about it and then later she sent me a message asking if I was excited to see her pretty face later. I told her that I was thinking about her while I was running. She used that against me too. What does it mean? Does she like it that I'm thinking of her or what?

 

[Thelema]

I think about her all the time and I told her that but it seems to mean nothing to her. She like jokes about it. What does that mean?

I even messaged her to make perfecly clear (i convinced myself I was going to some how change when I was sure) that she liked me more than a friend and she said she did.

I feel even more weird when Morgan is right there and it some how even makes it harder to talk to her. Then again when Morgan is there I feel less pressure to think of something to say (makes no sense)

I don't even know why she likes me in the first place. She tells me she's liked me since the sixth grade (we were in the same class) but I've changed so much since then.

 

[SocialRetahd]

She used that against me too. What does it mean? Does she like it that I'm thinking of her or what?

Wow, doesn't sound too nice.

I think she feels that you are infactuated with her and she likes that feeling. She likes to lead you on from the impression I'm getting. But taking advice from me on gf's is like asking someone from the WNBA what's it like to dunk a basketball.

 

[mienaino]

*sigh* women...

::snip::How do I make her more comfortable around me? ::snip:: Is it sa or just the normal nervousness? She seems to hold me as one of her closest friends out of nowhere really being that she isn't really that comfortable around me.

A couple days ago she messaged me that she was tired of guys she didn't like asking her out. I thought she was trying to say "why the hell aren't you going out with me?" So I said "just tell them you're already going out with me" and she said she didn't want to lie.

She told me she's been trying to think of legitamite (spelled it wrong I'm sure) ways of hanging out with me EVERY day and hoped that didn't freak me out. So she wants to see me all the time but isn't cool with just being with me besides going out to the movies with me. What does that mean?

Now I'm thinking if I don't do something soon she's just going to see me as another male friend and I'll lose my chance with her.

I told her about a dream I had about her (kissing dream) and she used it against me today in a joking way in front of Morgan. ::snip:: I told her that I was thinking about her while I was running. She used that against me too. What does it mean? Does she like it that I'm thinking of her or what?

This is going to sound awful, but it sounds like it's too late. At least, that's how I read into the situation.
It sounds like she is using Morgan for a standoff routine. That way she can be as candid and unreserved as she wants, but there is no personal space reserved for just the two of you in your relationship, which makes it impossible to grow in the direction that you would like. Maybe she has had a lot of boyfriends, and this is her filter. If there is one thing I know to be true about women, it is that they can convince you that they're more into you than they are, and most will convince as many people as possible, then select one or two. If, however, she hasn't had any boyfriends, and as you say, she isn't shy around other people, then love-shyness could certainly be a possibility.
The thing that concerns me the most is that she elevated you to the inner circle of her closest friends without knowing you very well, or so you believe. My concern is that things are not as they seem. Is it possible that she is taking a temporary interest in you, fawning on you for your reciprocation, but with no intention of giving you any constant, permanent place in her life? And more importantly, does she really like GWAR, or did she only say so?
Sorry if I seem overly cynical/skeptical.

 

[Thelema]

*sigh* women...

::snip::How do I make her more comfortable around me? ::snip:: Is it sa or just the normal nervousness? She seems to hold me as one of her closest friends out of nowhere really being that she isn't really that comfortable around me.

A couple days ago she messaged me that she was tired of guys she didn't like asking her out. I thought she was trying to say "why the hell aren't you going out with me?" So I said "just tell them you're already going out with me" and she said she didn't want to lie.

She told me she's been trying to think of legitamite (spelled it wrong I'm sure) ways of hanging out with me EVERY day and hoped that didn't freak me out. So she wants to see me all the time but isn't cool with just being with me besides going out to the movies with me. What does that mean?

Now I'm thinking if I don't do something soon she's just going to see me as another male friend and I'll lose my chance with her.

I told her about a dream I had about her (kissing dream) and she used it against me today in a joking way in front of Morgan. ::snip:: I told her that I was thinking about her while I was running. She used that against me too. What does it mean? Does she like it that I'm thinking of her or what?

This is going to sound awful, but it sounds like it's too late. At least, that's how I read into the situation.
It sounds like she is using Morgan for a standoff routine. That way she can be as candid and unreserved as she wants, but there is no personal space reserved for just the two of you in your relationship, which makes it impossible to grow in the direction that you would like. Maybe she has had a lot of boyfriends, and this is her filter. If there is one thing I know to be true about women, it is that they can convince you that they're more into you than they are, and most will convince as many people as possible, then select one or two. If, however, she hasn't had any boyfriends, and as you say, she isn't shy around other people, then love-shyness could certainly be a possibility.
The thing that concerns me the most is that she elevated you to the inner circle of her closest friends without knowing you very well, or so you believe. My concern is that things are not as they seem. Is it possible that she is taking a temporary interest in you, fawning on you for your reciprocation, but with no intention of giving you any constant, permanent place in her life? And more importantly, does she really like GWAR, or did she only say so?
Sorry if I seem overly cynical/skeptical.

I need a girls opinion

Morgan is like her best friend and I thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend for a while. There is this one guy that all I really know about is they were boyfriend and girlfriend and now he's gone and done some stupid crap and they don't talk now.

I know pretty much every sexual thing she's done (she's really open about it) and things like that. She was the one that wanted to go with me on valentines day. If she didn't like me then she didn't have to ever talk to me again. But then we went ice skating. Then she said I had to pick the place next so I just don't know. Maybe she's waiting for me to do something or something. Inner circle of friends is the perfect way to put it. So far it seems me and Morgan are her best friends. If she knows how I feel about her and she still wants to hang out with my every day as she puts it then I just don't know. We were talking and I told her I didn't think 2 people could be friends when one is in love with the other and I really hope she would just tell me if she didn't feel anything for me.

She jokes about how all these guys keep falling in love with her and stuff but she isn't hanging out with them. I know her mom likes me and her little brother seems to.

I don't see how I could suddenly be so big in her life just for her to throw me out of it eventually. If she won't go out with guys that she knows likes them but goes out with me what does that mean?

You know if I had any guts I'd just put my arm around her. If she didn't like it then it would be very obvious.

Sne didn't have any GWAR songs on her ipod but she told me she threatened to dress up like one of the guys from GWAR one year so she atleast knew who they were.

 

[Sacrament]

Two possible reasons why she "made fun of you" when you told her how you felt:

1) She thought you were kidding
2) She was too embarassed to reply in the same manner.

I'm guessing she only sees you as a good friend, and maybe she feels that if your relationship went one step forward, it could damage it.

My suggestion is that you don't ask her to be your girlfriend per se. It's too much pressure. Just keep getting closer to her and try, say, holding her hand in the movies or something.

Or, you could look her in the eye and bluntly ask: "What would you do if I kissed you right now?". If she gets mad, tell her you were kidding; if she looks at you in awe and embarassment, go for it or ask again: "So, how would you react?", but keep focused on her reactions and body language. Earlier than you know it, you'll be hand-in-hand with her more often and sharing a few kisses here and there. Just don't push it or go bragging about it to others. Keep it secret and personal.

 

[Thelema]

Thanks guys

Thelema, I know you said you wanted a girl's opinion but I only glanced through your posts. Sounds like this Morgan character is a cockblocker... I dunno...I'll have to read more when I get back.

Edited: The other text was supposed to be on a different thread.

Whats cockblocking?

Here are the messages we sent back and forth earlier today

Me Thinking of me?

Her Oh yes. Of course

Me Knew it

Her You were thinking about me too. I think you're crazy for me

Me I think you like the thought of me thinking of you...Ya I'm crazy about you...and you are lusting for me

Her Damn straight! Even tho you're the one dreamin

Me Ya damn straight you're lusting for me. I have one dream about you amd now you are going to use it against me for the next 20
years huh?

Her Only if I get to spend spend it with you...yes

Me O...How sweet

Her I know. I'm incredible

Me Not as much as me darlin

Her Oh sure. I think I'm crazy

Me About me? Thats obvious

Her Well atleast you caught it this time

Me This time?

Her You didn't know I liked you

Me I never seem to know. Will you marry me?

Her Oh of course

Me Great. hows next saturday?

Her Ok

To me that sounds like she likes me. Girls have any opinions?

 

[eggbe4thechicken]

^is she like this when you are face to face?
You know she may just be shy, just like you. I know that whenever someone compliments me, I just laugh at them, and I deny it, or try to change the topic.
It does seem however that she is a bit more confident than you. You can show her that you like her by trying to go out with her on her own. Take the initiative. If you leave it to her, you will end up being with Morgan as well. She may be shy about inviting you somewhere where it will be just you and her, and Morgan is her safety net, there will be no awkward silences, etc.
When you are together alone, do real small things, brush past her when you are walking together, touch her hand when you try to get her attention, make small compliments, don't bombard her, as she may be embarrased if you tell her she is beautiful, even though you may think it. Don't take your eyes off her, let her know from your gestures that you are paying attention to her.
I know that you both like GWAR, but try not to talk about it too much, use it as a safety net if there is an awkward silence. Also, I have been thinking recently, what is wrong with silence? I have been trying recently to just allow the silences to happen. When you are with your mum, for example, in the car say, sometimes you won't have the radio, and you won't even be talking. It isn't awkward then is it? If the awkward silence is unbearable, just laugh at it. "I have nothing to say." sort of fill in. You never know, that might start a new conversation.

I'm not sure where all this advice is coming from, lol, but I just know that that is how I would like to be treated if I was her. I have had no experience with anything like this, so sorry if my advice is total crap, but hey. :roll:

 

[Thelema]

Thanks Roxy

Whats cockblocking?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cockblocker

Can I ask how old you guys are? I know people mature at different levels and stuff and it won't change my opinion...just asking out of curiosity.

I re-read the entire thread. Seems there are a lot of possible reasons to explain this girls behavior but I just don't know. She could be acting hot and cold as a sort of defense mechanism, scared to take it to the next level, or I hate to say this but she could just be stringing you along to see if someone else she likes better will come along. It's really hard to say..lots of times women don't know what they really want and it's constantly changing.

Have you ever thought about acting uninterested? I know playing games sucks but you know that saying don't know what you got til it's gone..plus it turns some women on. I agree with the poster who said don't overcompliment her. Or you might just wanna come out and ask her her true feelings. I know it's hard with anxiety and fear of rejection but it's just gonna nag at you. If she only wanted to remain friends, could you handle just being friends?

I'm sorry I'm not all that good with advice..I just imagine you're very frustrated, think you should take action...just do what feels right in your heart.

She's 17 and I'm 18.

I know she's probably had a lot of relationships with guys and girls so would it make sense she's still shy? I've always been shy around girls I've liked and have never grown out of it.

She messaged me earlier wondering if I wanted to go bowling with her. I told her I couldn't (I really couldn't). Then she asked if we could hang out later and I told her I wasn't sure when my brother is going to be done in the tournament he's in. So I may be able to see her latery today I just don't know when.

But she wants to see me all the time but at the same time Morgan is always there. I know if I could have gone bowling Morgan would be there. It isn't that I don't like Morgan he's a nice guy but why does he always have to be there?

She'll be able to drive with friends in the car in april and Morgan does drive her around everywhere now. Maybe it will change then.

I did ask her if she liked me more than a friend and she said she thought it was obvious she did...She doesn't act towards me as anything but a friend tho and I'm too scared to. I couldn't handle rejection...I don't want to ask her why she doesn't show anything when we're together because it seems so strange I wouldn't either.

No I don't think so. The one time I've ever been in love she just wanted to be friends. I did because I really cared about her and still do. It hurt me every day and hurt even more when she talked about other guys...I just can't handle that again. I only have a huge crush at this point and I don't want to fall in love again just to get hurt.

I'm more frustrated with myself than anything...I never know what feels right since everything has fear muddying my desire

And she just messaged me wondering if I was still busy.

 

[Thelema]

Or, you could look her in the eye and bluntly ask: "What would you do if I kissed you right now?". If she gets mad, tell her you were kidding; if she looks at you in awe and embarassment, go for it or ask again: "So, how would you react?", but keep focused on her reactions and body language. Earlier than you know it, you'll be hand-in-hand with her more often and sharing a few kisses here and there. Just don't push it or go bragging about it to others. Keep it secret and personal.

That sounds pretty good actually. If I had the guts to do it....

 

[eggbe4thechicken]

Or, you could look her in the eye and bluntly ask: "What would you do if I kissed you right now?". If she gets mad, tell her you were kidding; if she looks at you in awe and embarassment, go for it or ask again: "So, how would you react?", but keep focused on her reactions and body language. Earlier than you know it, you'll be hand-in-hand with her more often and sharing a few kisses here and there. Just don't push it or go bragging about it to others. Keep it secret and personal.

That sounds pretty good actually. If I had the guts to do it....

That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't be able to. Hopefully one day she might take the plunge herself.

 

[Thelema]

^is she like this when you are face to face?
You know she may just be shy, just like you. I know that whenever someone compliments me, I just laugh at them, and I deny it, or try to change the topic.
It does seem however that she is a bit more confident than you. You can show her that you like her by trying to go out with her on her own. Take the initiative. If you leave it to her, you will end up being with Morgan as well. She may be shy about inviting you somewhere where it will be just you and her, and Morgan is her safety net, there will be no awkward silences, etc.
When you are together alone, do real small things, brush past her when you are walking together, touch her hand when you try to get her attention, make small compliments, don't bombard her, as she may be embarrased if you tell her she is beautiful, even though you may think it. Don't take your eyes off her, let her know from your gestures that you are paying attention to her.
I know that you both like GWAR, but try not to talk about it too much, use it as a safety net if there is an awkward silence. Also, I have been thinking recently, what is wrong with silence? I have been trying recently to just allow the silences to happen. When you are with your mum, for example, in the car say, sometimes you won't have the radio, and you won't even be talking. It isn't awkward then is it? If the awkward silence is unbearable, just laugh at it. "I have nothing to say." sort of fill in. You never know, that might start a new conversation.

I'm not sure where all this advice is coming from, lol, but I just know that that is how I would like to be treated if I was her. I have had no experience with anything like this, so sorry if my advice is total crap, but hey. :roll:

Not really and thats why I think she's shy and still not comfortable around me. I don't take compliments well either.

We're going out to see Blades Of Glory on friday with Tyson and his girlfriend. I still have to call him and figure out everything...I'm dreading that so much...So it will be me and her and Tyson and his girlfriend. I'm doing something by then...a hug or what I don't know but something.

When we were watching Premonition there was just a boring scene of the girl walking down the stairs but hollyann has a foot phobia. So I said "oooo toes...scary" and she hit me and called me an ass. She didn't say it in a mad way...atleast thats what I think. Then when the movie was over and I was stretching my arms she poked me with her finger. I think nudging her or something in a playful way is a good idea.

Thats another good idea. I've learned Ozzfest is free this year and its coming to Seattle. I was thinking we could get some people together and go.

She actually did say she had nothing to say once. :lol: I've found silence doesn't bother me but the fact that it bothers other people is what bothers me.

 

[Thelema]

So I told Hollyann I couldn't see her today after all and asked if I could see her tomorrow....She said thats fine but that she really wanted to see me today....now I feel like crap for not seeing her

 

[Thelema]

She sent a message back saying if I felt bad about it I could make it up to her somehow tomorrow! Thats my chance! I made plans to go bowling with her tomorrow.

 

[Thelema]

Well today we hung out. No Morgan. We went bowling and had a good time. She beat me :lol: Then we went back to her grandparents place. Lots of talking about lots of stuff too much to say. Seems that she has had a crush on me for a really long time but was too shy to say anything to me. And somehow she got the idea in her head that I some how feel superior to her and wouldn't like her or something...not sure how she got that idea. One of her best friends came over and she got some coffee. When we were there her friend asked why we weren't dating yet. Thats 2 friends and a brother.

I learned when I jokingly asked her to marry me she told her mom and her mom said something like "next saturday...you're skipping dating and going right to marriage?" Then I totally was like you said yes....and she was like I said sure and I was like that means yes and her friend agreed with me.

She also talked about how this guy was coming on to her and she wanted me to be there so he wouldn't or something.

I think if it comes up again I should ask her why we aren't dating. I don't have the answer.

I didn't really try anything but there was something kinda funny. We were driving back from bowling and there was this comic book shop. I nudged her and said Hey Hollyann a comic book shop. Since she's a total nerd I knew she would have gone in there. She was like yeah I've been there. I said Yeah I knew that I know you so well. She said yeah theres a fat guy that works there and I said Oh I thought he would be really muscular. She thought that was pretty funny....what a nerd :lol:

She also brought up to her friend how she told Morgan nothing would ever happen between them. I feel better after hearing that.

 

[Thelema]

She's 17 and I'm 18.

I know she's probably had a lot of relationships with guys and girls so would it make sense she's still shy? I've always been shy around girls I've liked and have never grown out of it.

She messaged me earlier wondering if I wanted to go bowling with her. I told her I couldn't (I really couldn't). Then she asked if we could hang out later and I told her I wasn't sure when my brother is going to be done in the tournament he's in. So I may be able to see her latery today I just don't know when.

But she wants to see me all the time but at the same time Morgan is always there. I know if I could have gone bowling Morgan would be there. It isn't that I don't like Morgan he's a nice guy but why does he always have to be there?

She'll be able to drive with friends in the car in april and Morgan does drive her around everywhere now. Maybe it will change then.

I did ask her if she liked me more than a friend and she said she thought it was obvious she did...She doesn't act towards me as anything but a friend tho and I'm too scared to. I couldn't handle rejection...I don't want to ask her why she doesn't show anything when we're together because it seems so strange I wouldn't either.

No I don't think so. The one time I've ever been in love she just wanted to be friends. I did because I really cared about her and still do. It hurt me every day and hurt even more when she talked about other guys...I just can't handle that again. I only have a huge crush at this point and I don't want to fall in love again just to get hurt.

I'm more frustrated with myself than anything...I never know what feels right since everything has fear muddying my desire

And she just messaged me wondering if I was still busy.

To me it makes sense that she can be shy.

You don't have a car, do you?

I know I said I wouldn't say anything pertaining to age but after reading this last post I get a sense she could be hanging around this guy for his car. It can be a big deal for people that age. Whatever the case, he may be her friend but she is using this guy, he's like a shield or something..I don't understand why she won't hang out with you alone. I see you'd feel bad about acting like you're not as interested. The other, romantic side of me says to just do something to sweep her off her feet but that's a big risk. I do have some suggestions...pm me if interested. I also like Sacrament's idea. I know you said you're frustrated with yourself but this girl is really sending confusing signals and your head must be spinning.

You say today's your big chance...what are you gonna do? Tell her or show her, a little of both? I hope it goes well and continue keeping us posted!

Like me she acts different over the internet and messaging.

She did keep saying that she needs a car and that she can't wait until she can drive with other people. She loves driving

She's everything I've wanted for so long and I don't have the nerve to get what I want... :The title of this thread is lonely want a girlfriend.

 

[Thelema]

I was just thinking about the kiss thing....I can't sleep....I don't think I'm seeing something that isn't there and that its obvious she likes me. I don't think I would be rejected with the whole what if I kissed you thing. If she acts weird I'll just make her feel as awkward as me and ask why she's playing with my feelings.

 

[eggbe4thechicken]

^Another suggestion. If you are worried about her feeling awkward, and yourself too, try invading her personal space, see if she is ok with that. Hug her when you leave, things like that.