So, I'm about to start my second full-time college program in September and I'm freaking out more than a little.
I was enrolled in a business program at the same college a year after I graduated high school, realized I hated the idea of a life behind a desk and dropped out. I was young and irresponsible and piddled away my $6000.00 student line of credit when I should have paid back the confirmation fee and shut it down. I'm still paying it off.
Now, 5 years later, I have graduated with 6 academic credits and 1 advanced credit from adult education, the most credits of anyone in my year, was a straight 85-95 student in all of my courses, and received a scholarship for academic excellence.
Because I left adult ed. in such a blaze of glory, I feel like I have an absurd amount of pressure on me. My parents are always talking me up to their friends, my boyfriend always tells me how intelligent I am, and above all, my 3-year-old son is relying on me to see this through and provide for him with the resultant career.
When I was filling out my student loan application today, and saw laid out in front of me just how much of my time I spend unemployed, I feel completely useless. It makes me sick. I've jumped through 5 jobs in the last 4 years while taking a year of maternity leave. I know it's because I give up too easily. If I have a boss that doesn't like me, for example, I am likely to leave the job because I don't want to deal with the confrontation every day.
It also doesn't help that the job market in my area is the epitome of sucking. The only jobs out there are for high schoolers on summer break with no schedule restrictions, employers don't want single, young mothers that need daycare hours, job accountability be damned.
I'm afraid and upset and I don't know what to do.
What if I let everyone down?
What if I can't find a job this summer?
What if my student loan gets denied?
What if I have no way of paying for school come September?
What do I do?
I was enrolled in a business program at the same college a year after I graduated high school, realized I hated the idea of a life behind a desk and dropped out. I was young and irresponsible and piddled away my $6000.00 student line of credit when I should have paid back the confirmation fee and shut it down. I'm still paying it off.
Now, 5 years later, I have graduated with 6 academic credits and 1 advanced credit from adult education, the most credits of anyone in my year, was a straight 85-95 student in all of my courses, and received a scholarship for academic excellence.
Because I left adult ed. in such a blaze of glory, I feel like I have an absurd amount of pressure on me. My parents are always talking me up to their friends, my boyfriend always tells me how intelligent I am, and above all, my 3-year-old son is relying on me to see this through and provide for him with the resultant career.
When I was filling out my student loan application today, and saw laid out in front of me just how much of my time I spend unemployed, I feel completely useless. It makes me sick. I've jumped through 5 jobs in the last 4 years while taking a year of maternity leave. I know it's because I give up too easily. If I have a boss that doesn't like me, for example, I am likely to leave the job because I don't want to deal with the confrontation every day.
It also doesn't help that the job market in my area is the epitome of sucking. The only jobs out there are for high schoolers on summer break with no schedule restrictions, employers don't want single, young mothers that need daycare hours, job accountability be damned.
I'm afraid and upset and I don't know what to do.
What if I let everyone down?
What if I can't find a job this summer?
What if my student loan gets denied?
What if I have no way of paying for school come September?
What do I do?
