Life at a standstill?

[lilmutegirl]

Does anyone else feel like their life is at a standstill? Even though some things have changed over the years, I feel as though my day-to-day habits have remained the same. I am horribly afraid of taken action, but I do want things in my life to be different.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Tell me, what do you fear most about taking action? Life won't change unless you make life change. Yes, my life feels like it's at a standstill; I watch everyone on here talk about how much they're making progress and then I look at myself and feel that I'm still stuck at the same place I've always been. It's saddening and can really tear my soul to shreds, but I still have to get up and try and do something.

 

[brown dwarf]

well id say were in the same boat, My life is pretty flat at the moment. but its really hard to change my habits and get motivated because im not sure there is much I can do. I will never be able to get friends with hyperhidrosis so I just stay indoors most days.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I fear failure...and to some extent, success, since more would be expected of me if I do well at something. I am also afraid of what people will think of me, which causes me to avoid doing lots of things. Right now, I am procrastinating about calling my landlord (who happens to be a relative of my ex-husband) about a broken garbage disposal and a thermostat that needs to be replaced because I am afraid my house isn't clean enough. Unfortunately, I need to call tomorrow, because it is getting cold, and I will need heat, and my parents will be coming this week and are more likely to complain about the cold than I am. It is causing me an extreme amount of anxiety. I become very overwhelmed more easily than I think most people do, and I think that prevents me from trying to do anything with my life.

 

[Aletheia]

and to some extent, success, since more would be expected of me if I do well at something

Oh I relate to this so badly.

because I am afraid my house isn't clean enough

This too.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I fear failure...and to some extent, success, since more would be expected of me if I do well at something. I am also afraid of what people will think of me, which causes me to avoid doing lots of things. Right now, I am procrastinating about calling my landlord (who happens to be a relative of my ex-husband) about a broken garbage disposal and a thermostat that needs to be replaced because I am afraid my house isn't clean enough. Unfortunately, I need to call tomorrow, because it is getting cold, and I will need heat, and my parents will be coming this week and are more likely to complain about the cold than I am. It is causing me an extreme amount of anxiety. I become very overwhelmed more easily than I think most people do, and I think that prevents me from trying to do anything with my life.

No one's going to expect anything out of you if you succeed; if someone does, then you don't owe them anything. Your choices will affect how your life goes, not someone else's; if you're content with this, then there's nothing I can or will do. But, if you want to break free, I'm willing to help in whatever way I can. But, it sounds like you suffer from "paralysis by analysis". You just need to stop thinking about things and just do something, worry about the consequences later. Now, tell me: are you happy with your life right now? Does this current situation sound like something you could happily live in for the rest of your life? If you hate it, then what are you willing to do to change it for the better and what exactly do you wish to change?

 

[coyote]

I fear failure...and to some extent, success, since more would be expected of me if I do well at something. I am also afraid of what people will think of me, which causes me to avoid doing lots of things. Right now, I am procrastinating about calling my landlord (who happens to be a relative of my ex-husband) about a broken garbage disposal and a thermostat that needs to be replaced because I am afraid my house isn't clean enough. Unfortunately, I need to call tomorrow, because it is getting cold, and I will need heat, and my parents will be coming this week and are more likely to complain about the cold than I am. It is causing me an extreme amount of anxiety. I become very overwhelmed more easily than I think most people do, and I think that prevents me from trying to do anything with my life.

sounds exactly like me

 

[Kinetik]

Everyone goes through what they perceive as standstills, but that's because we tend to measure only the very obvious progress that we make. Just because we haven't reached some tangible milestone, it doesn't mean we're not learning, growing, and building on the past. We improve daily without even realizing it.

 

[lilmutegirl]

No one's going to expect anything out of you if you succeed; if someone does, then you don't owe them anything. Your choices will affect how your life goes, not someone else's; if you're content with this, then there's nothing I can or will do. But, if you want to break free, I'm willing to help in whatever way I can. But, it sounds like you suffer from "paralysis by analysis". You just need to stop thinking about things and just do something, worry about the consequences later. Now, tell me: are you happy with your life right now? Does this current situation sound like something you could happily live in for the rest of your life? If you hate it, then what are you willing to do to change it for the better and what exactly do you wish to change?

"paralysis by analysis" sounds exactly right! While there is a lot in my life that I like, I am not happy with the fact that I do not feel like I am moving forward. Not thinking about consequences and just doing something is very difficult for me, but I can try. Maybe I could start small. Even when I do think about consequences of actions that I usually end up not taking, the worst-case scenario isn't that bad, but I avoid doing anything anyway.
I know the main thing I need to change is my attitude toward doing things (everything from calling about broken appliances to enrolling in school and looking for a job). I procrastinate a lot due to my anxiety, and I'm afraid that many people may look at that as being lazy (especially my parents). I actually fantasize about doing simple things without anxiety, and moving forward with my life.
Thank you for your insight!