I first observed OCD symptoms when I was around 5 (yes!), mostly because my Mom has OCD too and that's how the small repetitive actions became noticeable. I am 22 now and although the intensity has reduced a lot, it has aggravated on a different level. The decrease in intensity could be attributed to laziness. What used to be a compulsive ritual to wash hands, turn switches on/off, checking if the door is locked some dozen times, counting everything I lay my eyes on, counting physically using fingers and making it more evident, some sexual obsessions and the likes, I have now started experiencing extreme (and by that, I mean EXTREME) mood swings. I had been staying with my parents all my life and whenever I used to feel depressed, I just went over to mom and started feeling better by simply letting her know how I felt. But I stay alone these days, miles away from home, and the depression has aggravated some 1000 times over. I recently got involved in a relationship with this wonderful girl, but sadly she is a major cause for the mood swings. Whenever she texts me, I feel so elated, on cloud 9 and I do whatever I am doing so confidently. However, if she takes time to reply to my messages, I feel so dejected to the point that I feel utterly worthless, almost like a non-existent junk in this world. I feel like killing myself sometimes. I was reading somewhere about bpd and the known symptom of idealizing/devaluing someone close to you. Do I show any visible signs of BPD? Would these problems come in the way of my relationship? I am ready to do anything as long my girlfriend is not affected by my actions.
I have never been to a doctor before for mental/ psychiatric help and I have never been diagnosed with OCD for the same purpose. I am a graduate student and recently I told my psychology professor about my problems and she was surprised that I had gotten so far to the extent of reaching grad school. Frankly speaking, I have had slight concentration problems but I have always been an above average student so far. Should I read a lot into my professor's words and consult a doctor? What should I tell the doctor about - that I have OCD, or that I also suspect of having BPD?
I have never been to a doctor before for mental/ psychiatric help and I have never been diagnosed with OCD for the same purpose. I am a graduate student and recently I told my psychology professor about my problems and she was surprised that I had gotten so far to the extent of reaching grad school. Frankly speaking, I have had slight concentration problems but I have always been an above average student so far. Should I read a lot into my professor's words and consult a doctor? What should I tell the doctor about - that I have OCD, or that I also suspect of having BPD?
