DukeOtakuNukem
Well-known member
I am currently trying to learn Japanese, but as I have described in earlier posts, I have been deleted and blocked by many, mainly because my skills are very poor, and I still don't know what to do to this day. I have invested quite a bit of money in books, but apparently, I am a "kinesthetic" learner, and its probably why I sought language partners online in the first place, but of course I did not find the experience welcoming, and my motivation to learn the language has dropped drastically, in fact the only way I can give myself the energy to even open the book and try to learn something is if I have brutal death metal playing at an extremely high volume to cover the pain of the negative experiences I had trying to communicate with them. Another thing to mention is that every time I am reminded that my skills are poor, I feel an extreme surge of sadness, and feel like destroying something. I don't want to live this way, I don't even know what my purpose of being around is anymore, as thoughts of suicide as been prevalent recently along with the thoughts of destroying things. Pardon the gruesome content, I am just feeling hopeless. Thanks for reading, and for all of your support.
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