Just so lonely..

[SavannahRose]

For various reasons SA entered my life again..I guess maybe before I realised it bit by bit over last few months. It seemed to suddenly just hit, but I think it's been building up. Anywaay, I used to have SA really bad, but it really only lasted while I was in an unhealthy relationship nearly 7 years ago. But now it is back, (as I say for various reasons). But I feel so terribly lonely, scared and I wanna moves past, but I can't seem to. Too much has happene in my life for me to feel happy in my own skin anymore, at least feeling I can face people. But while I feel this socially anxious, I feel very anxious talking to people in my life about how I feel. I guess I never really have, cos I find it hard at best of times.

I dunno what am saying- partly just venting. But I have all these feelings, I think are so secretive to me that nobody will ever understand. But they are so intense. I even find it hard with my counsellor, and I think maybe that frustrates her when she trying to work with me? But with SA opening up is even harder. I feel like i should be able to get myself together now. I am 26, but still have these age old conceptions about myself, I dunno how true they are or not- but they never go away. I have a lot of nightmares and stuff too. I wanna find a way out of this, and finally have a life. Anyone else feel same?

 

[Dark_Angel]

I do feel in same way , maybe not everything of ur feelings but the most yes, i never went to counsellor i dont think that i could open to someone that i know that is there just for do his job , i have a shell around me that i created with my hands and my shyness so i understand how u feel and i wish get out of SA too and have a life and make go out everything i have inside =( anyways if u will ever want to talk or vent i understand how u feel so dont have any worries for talk =)