Just out of curiousity - which is more attractive

KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Humility or confidence?

I mean - if it came right down to it...

hu·mil·i·ty
   [hyoo-mil-i-tee or, often, yoo-] Show IPA
noun
the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.

con·fi·dence
   [kon-fi-duhns] Show IPA
noun
1.
full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.
2.
belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.

According to wikipedia humility is a virtue.

Bigger question is - can the two co-exist?
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
Bigger question is - can the two co-exist?
I would say very rarely, the person who shares both attributes is indeed blessed.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
So - humility = good, but not attractive.

Do you think humility is confused and mistaken for this so called "lack" of confidence?
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
No, humility does = attractive!

There is such a thing as humility and confidence combined, but it does seem to be a rather rare mixture!
 
Flowers-Of-Bloom

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
I believe that society values confidence highly whereas humility is something rarely considered desirable outside of religion. Personally, I prefer humility.
Confidence might seem more attractive at first, but as you get to know someone I think humility is more important and attractive in relationships. Someone could be confident, but also proud & arrogant which is something that most people find annoying. Not that humility and confidence can't co-exist together (unless people mistake pride & arrogance for confidence).
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
The problem with being confident is you can come across as arrogant, and being arrogant is a huge turn off to most people.
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
Flowers-Of-Bloom said:
Someone could be confident, but also proud & arrogant which is something that most people find annoying. Not that humility and confidence can't co-exist together (unless people mistake pride & arrogance for confidence).
Click to expand...

I kind of agree. What's attractive about confidence is the whole thing about believing in yourself and your abilities. Being full of yourself, not so much. Granted, I think most people who are full of themselves aren't really all that confident deep down and are just putting on a major act.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
hidwell said:
The problem with being confident is you can come across as arrogant, and being arrogant is a huge turn off to most people.
Click to expand...

The flipside of that though is that humility and being humble is often mistaken as not having any confidence or drive at all. It seems that just to be on the safe side its better to not be humble and lean more towards arrogance.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
I kind of agree. What's attractive about confidence is the whole thing about believing in yourself and your abilities. Being full of yourself, not so much. Granted, I think most people who are full of themselves aren't really all that confident deep down and are just putting on a major act.
Click to expand...

I agree....
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
The flipside of that though is that humility and being humble is often mistaken as not having any confidence or drive at all. It seems that just to be on the safe side its better to not be humble and lean more towards arrogance.
Click to expand...
I know what you mean Kia but I don't think being arrogant is the key though. Its also seen as a negative trait, I guess being humble doesn't mean that you let people take advantage of you, just like being confident doesn't mean being rude.
 
MsBuzzkillington

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
I think humility is the ability to admit when you are wrong.

Confidence is knowing that you have the ability to accomplish great things and knowing that you are a good person.

Humility is knowing that you have faults.

I am not sure if the two can be separated. Because when you have confidence with humility, that is something great. But if you have confidence without humility that is arrogance and that is not attractive.

I wouldn't say humility would be confused with a lack of confidence. A lack of confidence is not believing in yourself, putting yourself down, not feeling worthy and so on.
 
Flowers-Of-Bloom

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
Granted, I think most people who are full of themselves aren't really all that confident deep down and are just putting on a major act.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've met people that seem 'confident', especially when they're in groups and such, but when you get to know them personally you eventually start to recognise that their self-esteem is actually quite low and most of the time what you see is just a facade.
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
I think humility and confidence arent´opposites - it´s 2 different things so comparing them is like comparing apples and orranges. Again mixing together 2 different things, like this often happens on this forum and unconsciously goes on in the real life as well.

Why do people often mix together 2 unrelated things? Because they appear to be related on the first sight.

I think real humility should come with confidence.. otherwise the person becomes a doormat. Same with confidence - it should come with humility, otherwise the person becomes prideful and arrogant.
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I don't understand how they can't exist together. They aren't opposites.

Confidence is full trust in reliability and the ability to succeed

Humility is modesty in one's own importance

So one is about having faith in your abilities, and the other is about seeing yourself as not superior to others... Duties and Faith vs. Self Image, Yes I Can Do It VS. We Are All Equals. Very different things that can easily co exist.

For some reason confidence has come to mean reassuring people of what you are, rather having faith in your ability to complete something.. It's not "Yes I am!", it's not about proving your ego or superiority, it's "yes i can!", it's about goal completion, determination, capability. I wonder how that got so twisted around
 
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