Jobs and making by. Also, hey, look, a poll! Remember Polls? I love polls.

How do you make by?

  • I have a job and am independent.

    Votes: 6 28.6%
  • I have a job, and and am partially dependent

    Votes: 5 23.8%
  • I do not have a job, and am completely dependent

    Votes: 3 14.3%
  • I do not have a job, because I won the lottery.

    Votes: 1 4.8%
  • All of the above

    Votes: 1 4.8%
  • None of the above

    Votes: 2 9.5%
  • Other. Please specify, as I am sure I missed something obvious.

    Votes: 3 14.3%

  • Total voters
    21

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Hello SPW, I have a question for you. The question is not "What is a good job for shy people/people with social anxiety/people who don't like people?" That's far too vague of a question. One person with social anxiety, for example, could thrive in a customer service setting since the conversations are all scripted, while others would be overwhelmed with all the social interaction, scripted or not.

What I am wondering is, how is it everyone here gets by? Everyone is on this site for one reason for another, and I was wondering what routes real people with these issues take to survive in a world where you need money, either your own or somebody else, to make by. You know, unless you're like a nomad living off the land, but I figure with everyone having wifi that is most likely not any of you.

You can be as general or detailed as you like. Like one word answers are cool with me, IRL it's my bread and butter ::p:
So if you work, what is your job?
If you don't, how do you make by?
Are you dependent on family?
Are you in a place where the government supports you?
Is it some combination of the three?
Are you in school, and if so what work do you plan on doing?
Have you had any previous jobs?
What things have worked for you? What things haven't?

And then any other related topics as well.

If you're a tl:dr type of person, everything below this line is just me talking about me. Not prevalent to the question so much, and I would not be offended if you skipped it ::p:

-------------------------------------------------​

For me, I've had three jobs in my life, all restaurants. My first job was in high school, working as a dishwasher. It was low stress, and at a time where I didn't need money for anything. I worked there for a year and a half until I graduated high school, and then went away to college.

I didn't work my first two years of college, as I had everything paid for by the college (aka my student loans). I made casual attempts to find work, but I really didn't want to, and I was in a position where I didn't have too.

Part way through my sophomore year I realized the enormous debt I was piling up at the school I was attending, and transferred to a cheaper school. I also moved into an apartment at my grandparents house, and really needed a job after that. I found one, working again as a dishwasher. Dishwashing there was completely low stress, I could go in without saying a word to anyone all shift. It was minimum wage, but it was enough and allowed me to finish college and live in two apartments. I moved into another a year my senior year.

Once I finished college, I moved back home for mostly non-financial reasons, but money wasn't completely off my mind. I also moved up to start cooking at my work. Once a week, in a pretty isolated part of the kitchen. It was a good step.

Over time I moved up to positions in the kitchen the required a lot of communication, one of which had me literally yelling orders around a corner. It was a slow process to that point, so once I got there I felt comfortable and confident. Had I been thrown into that position immediately I would have probably stopped showing up at some point. This was a good phase of time for me at work, it felt like a great experience.

Around this same time I got a job delivering pizza where a friend of mine worked. I was real worried about this one, but pushed myself and needed the money. It was great exposure, showing myself I could do something I'd never had thought possible a few years ago. And the money was great for the amount of work I was doing.

After a while though, it really start to wear me down. Two jobs, both of which were socially active, every day felt like a struggle. After a year I had quit the pizza place. It didn't feel as positive as it first did, and had just become pure stress. The restaurant I stayed at for a year and a half longer, totaling around five and a half years there. I had tried working different parts of the restaurant, different hours, many things. It grew to the point where I found myself always unhappy, especially at work. Being around people for 40 hours a week was incredibly draining, and the job and pay weren't awesome either. There were times where I found that work could fit into my life, but by the end I couldn't find a way to make it.

So now I sit at my computer, presently unemployed, and trying to figure out my next steps. So tell me, SPW, how is it you all make by?
 

Lionhearted

Well-known member
Firstly, I also love polls! :bigsmile:

I don't know whether I should pick the 'Other' option, or the 'Dependant' option, but I'll explain it anyway.

I'm currently in college, so all I have to do for now, is to concentrate on my studies. Where I live, you don't necessarily need to pay the college fees yourself - it's part of the culture, for the parents to cover those expenses. So I'm sort of half way between 'completely dependant' and 'partially dependant', as I do have to do my share of work at home by myself. But that's just trivial, like washing the clothes.

For now, I'm sort of inside the 'comfort zone'. But what I do wonder, is what I'll have to do after college. It's not like what I'm studying is completely easy all the way. There's the usual seminars and debates, which I'm sort of quite okay with, but I still do feel that I have to take steps slowly at a time.

If I do wish to pursue what I'm studying, then I'll have to become a lawyer - which will of course, mean a very long path before actually getting a meagre amount of wages. I'd love to do so, as it helps to defeat my anxiety, but becoming financially independent seems like a little bit too far away to look forward. And I also hate that I'll have to live off what my parents had earned.

From what I've experienced so far, it seems that once I get everything into a scheduled 'routine', then it becomes much more easy to follow it -- and that too, without any fear of anxiety arising in the middle of all of it. Every new experience makes me very much overly-cautious, but I personally don't find that to be a bad thing.

Overall, it'll be many years, before I become independent financially. I might get work somewhere, but anything that's not connected with what I'm studying at college, might not be a suitable workplace for me. For example, a work environment which involves talking with customers, seems like a place where I'd be a bit stressed, as many people have told me that they have trouble being able to comprehend what I'm saying.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Firstly, I also love polls! :bigsmile:

I don't know whether I should pick the 'Other' option, or the 'Dependant' option, but I'll explain it anyway.

I'm currently in college, so all I have to do for now, is to concentrate on my studies. Where I live, you don't necessarily need to pay the college fees yourself - it's part of the culture, for the parents to cover those expenses. So I'm sort of half way between 'completely dependant' and 'partially dependant', as I do have to do my share of work at home by myself. But that's just trivial, like washing the clothes.

You should pick the "I do not have a job, and am completely dependent" option.

According to what you've said, you do not have a job, and your parents are paying for everything--food, school, and so on--with money they have earned. That puts you in the "completely dependent" category. It may be culturally acceptable for them to pay for your school, but they are still paying for it.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
Oddly enough, every job I've ever had involved a lot of social interaction. First I worked at customer support (dealing with a lot of unhappy folks and their internet bills, routers crashing, etc), then I worked for a bit at the social security offices, helping people who came in with this and that, and then I started working at hotel front desks, dealing with all sorts of different people, sometimes unhappy with their service.

And although it's very stressful, and often times I get home and I'm exhausted, it's a helpful tool for basic social interaction/cues, and overall stress management.
 

DanielLewis

Well-known member
I've worked jobs in food service, snow removal, recycling, manufacturing, and a warehouse. Usually, I only stay at my jobs for a year because I get bored and I haven't really liked any of them. Neither was the pay good enough to stay.

I guess since I dropped out of college I've had trouble finding the job I really want. It's depressing but it's my fault. Now, I have to move out of my Mom's house by November which I'm fine with. It's a good thing and I'm sure I'll like being on my own. I'm only worried because I still don't really have the means yet to get a good job so I know I'll be money tight and won't be able to save really (I'll be renting alone probably on about a $12/hr job). But it's good that I don't have any debt and I have about 9k in the bank.

I think I'll be happier on my own even if I'm "poor" so to speak. I just need the extra time to work on other things.
 
Last edited:

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Firstly, I also love polls! :bigsmile:

I don't know whether I should pick the 'Other' option, or the 'Dependant' option, but I'll explain it anyway.

I'm currently in college, so all I have to do for now, is to concentrate on my studies. Where I live, you don't necessarily need to pay the college fees yourself - it's part of the culture, for the parents to cover those expenses. So I'm sort of half way between 'completely dependant' and 'partially dependant', as I do have to do my share of work at home by myself. But that's just trivial, like washing the clothes.

For now, I'm sort of inside the 'comfort zone'. But what I do wonder, is what I'll have to do after college. It's not like what I'm studying is completely easy all the way. There's the usual seminars and debates, which I'm sort of quite okay with, but I still do feel that I have to take steps slowly at a time.

If I do wish to pursue what I'm studying, then I'll have to become a lawyer - which will of course, mean a very long path before actually getting a meagre amount of wages. I'd love to do so, as it helps to defeat my anxiety, but becoming financially independent seems like a little bit too far away to look forward. And I also hate that I'll have to live off what my parents had earned.

From what I've experienced so far, it seems that once I get everything into a scheduled 'routine', then it becomes much more easy to follow it -- and that too, without any fear of anxiety arising in the middle of all of it. Every new experience makes me very much overly-cautious, but I personally don't find that to be a bad thing.

Overall, it'll be many years, before I become independent financially. I might get work somewhere, but anything that's not connected with what I'm studying at college, might not be a suitable workplace for me. For example, a work environment which involves talking with customers, seems like a place where I'd be a bit stressed, as many people have told me that they have trouble being able to comprehend what I'm saying.

Ah, right, college. I was thinking about that as a response to the poll a few days ago, but brain farted while making it this morning. Sorry for forgetting! Being in college is a weird middle ground. Like NathanielWingatePeaslee said, you are completely dependent on your family, but also it does feel different than someone not in school in the same situation. If anything, I felt less dependent on my family when I was unemployed in college living in a dorm than I did employed and living at home. It feels like you're on a path to independence, which isn't always the feeling a job gives you.

Thanks for your reply, and I hope a few years after you graduate you'll be able to come back and re-reply to this thread telling us how well the law firm is treating you!
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Oddly enough, every job I've ever had involved a lot of social interaction. First I worked at customer support (dealing with a lot of unhappy folks and their internet bills, routers crashing, etc), then I worked for a bit at the social security offices, helping people who came in with this and that, and then I started working at hotel front desks, dealing with all sorts of different people, sometimes unhappy with their service.

And although it's very stressful, and often times I get home and I'm exhausted, it's a helpful tool for basic social interaction/cues, and overall stress management.

I delivered pizza for a while, and at first I had a similar experience as you did. I was exhausted and it was stressful, but it was a good stressful and I felt the experience was great exposure. I felt the anxiety started to build up on me though and began to overwhelm me. I dreaded every shift, and felt like I needed a break I just couldn't take without losing the job. Do you ever find all the social interaction wears you down to the point it's hard to stay positive?
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I've worked jobs in food service, snow removal, recycling, manufacturing, and a warehouse. Usually, I only stay at my jobs for a year because I get bored and I haven't really liked any of them. Neither was the pay good enough to stay.

I guess since I dropped out of college I've had trouble finding the job I really want. It's depressing but it's my fault. Now, I have to move out of my Mom's house by November which I'm fine with. It's a good thing and I'm sure I'll like being on my own. I'm only worried because I still don't really have the means yet to get a good job so I know I'll be money tight and won't be able to save really (I'll be renting alone probably on about a $12/hr job). But it's good that I don't have any debt and I have about 9k in the bank.

I think I'll be happier on my own even if I'm "poor" so to speak. I just need the extra time to work on other things.

Ah, warehouse, do you have any complaints other than they are boring? I have a good opportunity to work at one if I want with good starting pay, a union, and benefits, I just worry I will end up in the same situation I have in my previous jobs, i.e. the social interaction wears me down. Is it work you'd suggest?

Also, I envy your debt free-ness. I live with my parents, but with the amount I pay each month in student loans I could easily rent a small apartment. College was an invaluable experience and all that, but I wish I had had the foresight to see finding a job that used a degree was going to be a struggle for me.

I think being on your own will be a good experience, even if "poor" too. Having your own space is such a different feeling than sharing someone else's. In my experience it was a good feeling.
 

DanielLewis

Well-known member
Ah, warehouse, do you have any complaints other than they are boring? I have a good opportunity to work at one if I want with good starting pay, a union, and benefits, I just worry I will end up in the same situation I have in my previous jobs, i.e. the social interaction wears me down. Is it work you'd suggest?

Also, I envy your debt free-ness. I live with my parents, but with the amount I pay each month in student loans I could easily rent a small apartment. College was an invaluable experience and all that, but I wish I had had the foresight to see finding a job that used a degree was going to be a struggle for me.

I think being on your own will be a good experience, even if "poor" too. Having your own space is such a different feeling than sharing someone else's. In my experience it was a good feeling.

Hm. I really don't have any other complaints. The people were fine and I didn't mind being physically active all day. The nature of warehouse jobs is just very repetitive and machine-like which I can't really deal with for too long (I was packaging product or loading trucks all day for shipment). You can usually keep to yourself but at times you may also be working alongside someone else. Then how much you socialize depends on the personality of the people around you. But these definitely aren't socially active jobs so if that sounds good to you then I'd give it a try. You can always leave if it doesn't work out.

Why's it a struggle to get a job with your degree?
 
Last edited:
I survive on a government benefit, which i am very thankful for. I can't really work, because the stress of work gets to me too much (i get depressed, mood problems, have really bad days at work, etc). I have been sacked or quit jobs a few times because of these issues. I've managed to survive adequately on it for over a decade, but now things are gonna get tight as i must find a new home, and pay for storage for my stuff.

I selected "Other. Please specify, as I am sure I missed something obvious.", but should i have chosen "I do not have a job, and am completely dependent"?
 
Last edited:

lily

Well-known member
it's hard to find a job when you have social phobia but clerical work can be good. :)
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
I delivered pizza for a while, and at first I had a similar experience as you did. I was exhausted and it was stressful, but it was a good stressful and I felt the experience was great exposure. I felt the anxiety started to build up on me though and began to overwhelm me. I dreaded every shift, and felt like I needed a break I just couldn't take without losing the job. Do you ever find all the social interaction wears you down to the point it's hard to stay positive?

I tend to be exhausted after 'long' periods of social interaction, either at work or with friends. I think the exhaustion stems from negative thinking throughout the whole thing ("they're judging me because of (...)", "I have to keep talking to appear interesting and not bore them", etc).
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Hm. I really don't have any other complaints. The people were fine and I didn't mind being physically active all day. The nature of warehouse jobs is just very repetitive and machine-like which I can't really deal with for too long (I was packaging product or loading trucks all day for shipment). You can usually keep to yourself but at times you may also be working alongside someone else. Then how much you socialize depends on the personality of the people around you. But these definitely aren't socially active jobs so if that sounds good to you then I'd give it a try. You can always leave if it doesn't work out.

Why's it a struggle to get a job with your degree?

The short answer I would say is that the professional world tends to be very social, and socializing tends to be a struggle for me. I think confidence goes a long way too, and I tend to be more of a perfectionist who is often doubting and critical of himself.

But at the end of the day it's the basic things like talking on the phone or participating in a meeting that make a lot of jobs out there feel like it would be a really high climb every day I went to work if I were to work at them.
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I survive on a government benefit, which i am very thankful for. I can't really work, because the stress of work gets to me too much (i get depressed, mood problems, have really bad days at work, etc). I have been sacked or quit jobs a few times because of these issues. I've managed to survive adequately on it for over a decade, but now things are gonna get tight as i must find a new home, and pay for storage for my stuff.

I selected "Other. Please specify, as I am sure I missed something obvious.", but should i have chosen "I do not have a job, and am completely dependent"?

Thanks for your reply, government aid was something I was curious about. I have a lot moments where I wish there was an option where people could live minimally if they wanted without working, and those who wished to could work and live more glamorously if they wished.

I'm not sure there is such an option where I live, and even if there was the case is not that I cannot work as I have for most of my adult life. When I am feeling most hopeless on the matter though, my choice seem to be between being miserable and employed or miserable, unemployed, and homeless.
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Currently i work as an accountant. But it's been a long struggle for me to get to a point where i'm comfortable in a working environment.

I've lived like a hermit during college and so it took me a while to actually graduate (college here is paid by the government, unless you don't graduate). After graduation i was on my own and the process of finding a job was very stressfull for me. My social anxiety was quite bad back then and so i was afraid to start working. I honestly thought that i'd never be able to actually function in such an environment.

It took me like half a year to find my first job. It took so long, not because i couln't find anything, but because deep down i didn't want to work. At some point i got an interview and somehow i got the job (this was around the time i found SPW).

It was a bad experience. The job was in finance and it was way below the level i studied for. Basically i was just entering invoice details into the system and filing them. It was repetitive and boring. But eventhough the job was easy, it was hard for me to do it well because of my anxiety and lack of motivation. I was constantly nervous and because of that i didn't really mix well with the team. This ment that when my contract ended i was so relieved.

After this i started doubting everything and was unemployed for a year and a half. I felt like i didn't want to have an officejob. In my head all other options were open, which made me very indecisive of what i wanted to do next. I'm not good when i have too many choices...

At some point my savings were running low and when my dad actually offered me money it triggered me to start making decisions. I have a passion for tennis so i decided i wanted study for becoming a tennis teacher. Being in front of a group was far beyond my comfortzone, but i figured it'd be good for me.

This was a part time study and to be able to finance it i needed to find a job. Since i was motivated i found it pretty quickly with the help of a recruitment agency. This job was in the ensurance business at a respectable company. It wasn't a difficult job and i had to do policy administrative work. But it didn't matter. The team i worked with was great. I felt accepted and because of that it gave me the confidence that i actually can function in a work environment.

Long story short, i worked there for 2,5 years. I didn't finish my tennis education because i realised that was not something i wanted to do forever. Though it was a valuable experience and partially helped me become less anxious in general.

When i lost my job due to a reorganisation i decided i wanted to become an accountant. Not my dreamjob, but i figured that's what i studied for (among other things) and a stable base for the future.

My advice would be to try to find a job and not rely on government aid. Eventhough having a job can be super stressfull, it can also help you jump over a hurdle which makes your stresslevel go down. My experience is that i learned from every job, even when i hated it. I wouldn't be able to handle my current job if i didn't have the experiences of the previous ones, eventhough the type of work is completely different. Also i believe that not contributing in one way or another feels bad. And being uccupied also helps not drowning in your own thoughts.

Besides all this, not one job is the same. You can have 3 very bad experiences and than have 1 very good one. Depending on the people, the work, the workload, etc. One very good experience i had made up for all the bad experiences before that.

Thanks for your reply Ace, I really appreciate hearing your journey from job to job to where you have gotten now. I definitely read bits I could relate to, and I'm glad you've gotten to a place where you have a stable job you're good with.
 
Top