Jealousy?

[sullyS1985]

So i have been dating this girl lately and i really do like her but Im afraid my jealousy might mess things up between us. I realize we arent a couple and she has the right to talk or hang out with any guy she wants and i dont have a problem with that but when i know she is going to be around guys she may or may not like i feel very jealous. I guess my question is does anyone else feel really jealous like this in these situations? I think it has to do with my Social Anxiety because I am afraid she will meet someone that is better than me and i feel like that will be easy for her to do because i dont have much confidence. Does anyone else feel this way or have any opinions/advice regarding this situation?

 

[Kat]

Yeah, most people would say a situation like that couldn’t work but one theory doesn’t work for all we are all unique so jealousy may cause some headaches but it does work for some people.

But for your emotional health it’s better if you can come to terms with it, you may live longer if you do but it doesn’t mean the relationship can’t work.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I used to get jealous, very jealous! Part of it was due to depression and I hated myself. This was back when I was 17yrs, Im 29 now. I felt really awful how I treated the guy after the relationship ended, I vowed to myself that I wouldnt let myself get like that again, I felt a lot of remorse. And it helps too that today were friends and he has no hard feelings, it makes me feel better that he didnt hold anything against me, because it really had nothing to do with him...it was my self hatred.

I really dont have advice except you really have to become more tolerant over time. Which is what happened with me. Part of it too is trust issues, you have to figure out why you have a hard time trusting.
I had jealousy issues pop up again with the guy Im currently with, but this time I was aware of it, and just learned to let things go..tell myself to let it go. That whatever it is making me jealous just isnt worth me making myself miserable cause Im only hurting myself..whats the point? Its just really a waste of time.
Some jealousy I do believe is okay..its a normal human emotion..it shows you care..you dont want to lose the person. But it also comes from a place of fear and if out of control can destroy a good thing. But really its a part of growing up and learning theres certain things you cant control.

 

[sullyS1985]

Yeah, most people would say a situation like that couldn’t work but one theory doesn’t work for all we are all unique so jealousy may cause some headaches but it does work for some people.

But for your emotional health it’s better if you can come to terms with it, you may live longer if you do but it doesn’t mean the relationship can’t work.

Ya i agree completely, i just dont know how to come to terms with it. Perhaps a therapist or something. I

 

[BlueDays]

You might want to be thoughtful on how you display that jealousy for the girl to see. Some girls are put off a bit by displays of jealousy, if it is laid on too thick.

 

[Kat]

Ya i agree completely, i just dont know how to come to terms with it. Perhaps a therapist or something. I

Yep, you can try that, it’s all about learning to love each other in the right way for you both and you may be able to use any positives that comes from jealousy to your advantage. The more negatives we can eliminate from our lives the more likely we'll be happier.

 

[Danfalc]

So i have been dating this girl lately and i really do like her but Im afraid my jealousy might mess things up between us. I realize we arent a couple and she has the right to talk or hang out with any guy she wants and i dont have a problem with that but when i know she is going to be around guys she may or may not like i feel very jealous. I guess my question is does anyone else feel really jealous like this in these situations? I think it has to do with my Social Anxiety because I am afraid she will meet someone that is better than me and i feel like that will be easy for her to do because i dont have much confidence. Does anyone else feel this way or have any opinions/advice regarding this situation?

I think jelous is totaly normal in those situations,especialy when it comes to a girl you are attached to Jelousy is somthing most people have problems with,and I think with us social phobes being natrualy insecure,we do tend to get more jelous and possesive.

One one hand if not controlled or let out of hand,jelousy can be one of the most horrible emotions out there and deystroy relationships and friendships.But at the same time it can also be flattering,as to be jelous you obviously have to care alot.I think as long as you can be open and trust each other,thats the key to it not ruining the relationship.

 

[lollipop103]

Know that if you're constantly jealous like this, you might ruin the whole relationship. It doesn't help to say that, but... really, it's a big risk. And I get jealous too, it really does suck. And even when I know it'll ruin the relationship, I get jealous. In fact, sometimes I get even MORE jealous.

But just try not to show it, because some girls are put off.. and sometimes will be repulsed (?) by it. D:

 

[Kat]

The problem is people don’t know where to draw the line with jealousy, your controlling it but it’s still built up negativity, it won’t do you harm to get some therapy just for having sp. Don’t knock it until you try it.

I think there’s some things we are just not going to ever genuinely like in this world and no amount of therapy in the world could change that but since we have to do or die, you should strive to have some coping mechanisms in place, just to get by. It may seem impossible now but it may just work for you.

 

[Pink_Paula]

Jealousy caan be very destructive within a relationship, if you don't talk about how you are feeling and why you are feeling like that then your mind can go all over the place and start to make things up.

Yes jealousy can be flattering, because it shows that you do care, but if left alone it can cause more problems!

 

[mads]

Sully most all people have some degree of jealousy in them, if they say do not I call BS. I know exactly what you are going through.

I agree with you 100%, every person can be jealous to a certain degree, some more than others. But the more insecure you are, the more jealous you will be.

If you feel jealous it is normally because you dont trust the other or because you dont trust yourself.