It's that time of year.. Work/school Christmas functions

[blackcap]

Re: Sympathy - and some excuses!

But in the last couple of years one thing I have got much better at is NOT doing what I don't want to do. To hell with other people's expectations. They don't know how unpleasant I find such events, so they have no right to insist I be there.

Actually this will be one of the few times I will attend a work party. I've been at this company for 8 years and only been to one or two before, and that was when I first started. Since then I've done what you are suggesting - flat out saying No and making up excuses - but the problem is that people, in particular the receptionist organizing the party, knows that I never do anything and for some reason this year is not taking no for an answer.

I thought about simply not turning up, but I did that a few years back and the CEO got pissed at me since my place was paid for. He also knows me well enough to know I didn't have a good excuse.

Anyway, I've resigned myself to going to the party this year, if only to remind myself how much I hate them so that next year I will have more of a reason to simply refuse. Right now, I know I will hate it but it's been so long since I've been to a social event like this that the pain isn't fresh in my mind. No doubt in a few weeks it will all come back to me, and will last for a good few years....

Edit: I just thought of my excuse for next year. I'm going to say I will be out of town that day, and even though nobody will believe me I'm just going to stick to that story.

 

[blackcap]

It's a cruise to an island about 20km from the mainland, I'm in Australia. You can go for a swim, look around the island etc. The food looks really good though.

Hey, you know what, this doesn't sound too bad! How about a swapsies with my one (I'm in New Zealand, so not too long a flight!). Although my one is shorter (the party, I mean!), it's 4 hours on a boat, so there is literally nothing else to do but talk for the whole time. At least on an island you can just relax and walk around, or go for a swim etc.

Actually one of the few times I've been to a work party was similar to what yours is - a boat trip to a nearby island - and I actually had a good time because there were fun games (sack races, egg throwing, etc) and we had a footy to kick around. Those are the types of events I can handle, because the main focus isn't on talking.

Do you have a digital camera? Perhaps you could take that along with you, and take lots of photos? That would keep you occupied for some time, and give you the excuse of being on your own. Take some nature shots etc.

 

[kyle]

This may sound weird but I would rather goto a work christmas party than a family christmas party. At least that way, I would feel like I have let anyone down...

 

[alltoomuch]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am sort of looking forward to it now. Sort of, I'll still be glad when it's over.

It makes me fell better that I don't have to come up with an excuse that everyone knows is bullshit. I just wish I had a partner to go with, it would make it so much easier.

 

[alltoomuch]

It's the day after and I'm a bit sunburt and tired, but I'm glad I went. I was getting quite anxious before leaving home.

Once there I got into the alcohol, as everyone else was, and things went alright. I could actually say I enjoyed it. It will feel much better going to work tomorrow and being able to talk about the day, rather then having people tell you what you missed out on.

 

[blackcap]

It's the day after and I'm a bit sunburt and tired, but I'm glad I went. I was getting quite anxious before leaving home.

Once there I got into the alcohol, as everyone else was, and things went alright. I could actually say I enjoyed it. It will feel much better going to work tomorrow and being able to talk about the day, rather then having people tell you what you missed out on.

That's great to hear! And now you can relax... for another year at least.

I'm getting more anxious as my one approaches (next Saturday), but I'm trying not to think about it too much.

 

[IceLad]

It's the day after and I'm a bit sunburt and tired, but I'm glad I went. I was getting quite anxious before leaving home.

Once there I got into the alcohol, as everyone else was, and things went alright. I could actually say I enjoyed it. It will feel much better going to work tomorrow and being able to talk about the day, rather then having people tell you what you missed out on.

That's great to hear! And now you can relax... for another year at least.

I'm getting more anxious as my one approaches (next Saturday), but I'm trying not to think about it too much.

How did it go blackcap?

 

[blackcap]

How did it go blackcap?

It was okay actually. I was exhausted by the end of it, but I managed to get through it. A few things made it better than a 'typical' Xmas party:

- It was on a boat, so there was the main deck, and upper and lower decks to wander around. So I wasn't stuck at one table all the time.

- When I arrived, there were quite a few other people I knew arriving at the same time, so I didn't have to make an entrance all by myself.

- Virtually everyone from my dept was there, so lots of people I knew.

- There was no dancing or any other embarrassing activities!

So all-in-all it I'm glad I went, but it was nearly a best-case scenario. Not sure what I'm going to do next year though, particularly if it's just a typical dinner/dancing kind of party. Oh well, I guess that's still a year away....

 

[IceLad]

How did it go blackcap?

It was okay actually. I was exhausted by the end of it, but I managed to get through it. A few things made it better than a 'typical' Xmas party:

- It was on a boat, so there was the main deck, and upper and lower decks to wander around. So I wasn't stuck at one table all the time.

- When I arrived, there were quite a few other people I knew arriving at the same time, so I didn't have to make an entrance all by myself.

- Virtually everyone from my dept was there, so lots of people I knew.

- There was no dancing or any other embarrassing activities!

So all-in-all it I'm glad I went, but it was nearly a best-case scenario. Not sure what I'm going to do next year though, particularly if it's just a typical dinner/dancing kind of party. Oh well, I guess that's still a year away....

It's good to hear that it went okay. I hope you've given yourself plenty of credit for going.

Where I live in the UK, having a XMAS party on a boat is unheard-of (although it seems like an excellent idea). What a relief that there was no dancing (usually, an essential 'ingredient' in XMAS parties!). I definitely have two left feet and wouldn't of relished that at all.

 

[Sacrament]

There is going to be a Christmas dinner where I work but I'm not going, not only because of my anxiety and the whole socialization thing, but also because I don't want to spend any money.

 

[blackcap]

Where I live in the UK, having a XMAS party on a boat is unheard-of (although it seems like an excellent idea).

Really? When I was in London, back in 1998, the company I worked for had a cruise along the Thames as its party. Luckily contractors like myself weren't invited

 

[alltoomuch]

There is going to be a Christmas dinner where I work but I'm not going, not only because of my anxiety and the whole socialization thing, but also because I don't want to spend any money.

You have to pay for the work Christmas function? How can they expect people to go? Though it does give people a good excuse not to go.

 

[IceLad]

Where I live in the UK, having a XMAS party on a boat is unheard-of (although it seems like an excellent idea).

Really? When I was in London, back in 1998, the company I worked for had a cruise along the Thames as its party. Luckily contractors like myself weren't invited

I suppose in the biggest cities of the UK there would be the capacity to have a XMAS party on a boat, but I live in quite a small one. Where I live, parties are generally limited to pubs/ clubs/ restaurants.

 

[Doomed2Die]

On the subject of christmas, its hilarious. The pointlessness of it all, the sheep herd style advertisments and hype. The origins even are totally clandestine and rather shady especially what it pretends it is. Hell its damned difficult to not get sucked into it what with everyone and their grandmothers celebrating it. Its a joke played out by humanity with the butt of the joke being humanity its self. Excess, selfishness, power control, money, branding and whatever else, to me "Christmas" defines how terrible the common society is today. Sure people can have good intentions but the origin in false, the creators and their children love it, a clever scheme for money and control while us the victims of knowledge starvation and those who are born into such a lie have no choice but to follow the leader.

I dont 'do' christmas. I show my faith in the very least not believing in blatant outright spiritual manipulation. If I wanted to meet up with the family and give presents I will do so throughout the year, not some single select days that some credit as to reunite families...

 

[aj]

Oh great

The list of people going to our do at work was sorted out a few weeks ago, and I wasn't going. Today they were checking if anyone else wanted to, so obviously it's not set in stone, and I could still go! I thought I was done wondering about whether to say yes or no!

I don't think I will though. I will be sad that I didn't go. I've already been roped into doing secret santa and Christmas eve will be nice anyway

 

[aj]

Well the work do will be starting soon, if it hasn't already. I'm sat at home writing this. I will never know but I hope I made the right choice... I just thought it would be an almighty disaster. Stood on my own all night and/or being really clingy with the few people who I work with. Sigh.

 

[aj]

...after looking at the photos on Facebook - yes, it was the right choice, for now anyway. Just so many people, having fun... makes me really uncomfortable even looking at them :lol:

 

[blackcap]

Do you have a link to those facebook photos? Just interested in seeing how your work party looks compared to the ones we have here...

 

[aj]

Oooooh don't know if I should do that - even PMing some would be a bit wrong. I'll see

It's mostly just people sat at tables having their dinner, I don't know if they had a disco or anything because there aren't any of people on a dancefloor.

With everyone dressed up and having fun it makes me feel even smaller than I normally do. I wouldn't fit in at all.

I know that not going goes against the advice I've had, but I just think it would have been too much too soon. I probably would have disappeared back home early feigning some illness anyway.