its over

[NatRad]

As some of you may know, ive had a few posts on how bad my life and marrage was. dealing with 10 years of ocd crap, working ufll time, cleaning full time, not sleeping and the last 2.5 years raising a beautiful daughter, while this thing just slept all day neglected everybody etc.

4 months ago i busted my shoulder, so have been in a lto of pain and unable to do much, rotator cuff tear and impingement.

she flipped out totally from this, but the last year has been horrid with her mental state, more things are coming out, delusional things.

last week i walked in on her naked with another guy on a webcam, after confronting her she had been having an affair for 3 months behind my back. she had asked me to get some emergency leave from work so she could go away and have some alone time to get her self, she told me, she was planning on running away with him.

i told her she had to make a choice, 10 years of marrage, and a 2 year old daughter, not to mention the house, or this 10 year younger freaky looking dickhead on facebook. she chose him, rang him up and he said no and hung up on her.

the next day she called her piss weak brother to come to the house, got their at 5am, i had my daughter in my arms, and they ripped her from me, my weak arm couldnt stop them, they put her in a car with me desperatly trying to stop them, the piss weak brother tried to threaten me, before they locked them selves in teh car and tried to drive off, with me screaming for them to stop and standin ginfront of htem, so they called the police on me.

it took me 36 hours, to get a solicitor, get a 30 page affidavid and get an expartate order from family law court to get her back, the ex is just not a fit mother and cant even look after her self.

then today i get some mail in im still on he rcarers list, so i get a copy of everything, she applied for the centrelink single mothers pention a week before she split. so she had planned this all along.

so im now a single dad, i had known i needed to get out of this relationship for years, and its taken this for me to actually do it.

do i hate her or should i hate her mental illness, shes not the same person anymore and never will be.

 

[mads]

As some of you may know, ive had a few posts on how bad my life and marrage was. dealing with 10 years of ocd crap, working ufll time, cleaning full time, not sleeping and the last 2.5 years raising a beautiful daughter, while this thing just slept all day neglected everybody etc.

4 months ago i busted my shoulder, so have been in a lto of pain and unable to do much, rotator cuff tear and impingement.

she flipped out totally from this, but the last year has been horrid with her mental state, more things are coming out, delusional things.

last week i walked in on her naked with another guy on a webcam, after confronting her she had been having an affair for 3 months behind my back. she had asked me to get some emergency leave from work so she could go away and have some alone time to get her self, she told me, she was planning on running away with him.

i told her she had to make a choice, 10 years of marrage, and a 2 year old daughter, not to mention the house, or this 10 year younger freaky looking dickhead on facebook. she chose him, rang him up and he said no and hung up on her.

the next day she called her piss weak brother to come to the house, got their at 5am, i had my daughter in my arms, and they ripped her from me, my weak arm couldnt stop them, they put her in a car with me desperatly trying to stop them, the piss weak brother tried to threaten me, before they locked them selves in teh car and tried to drive off, with me screaming for them to stop and standin ginfront of htem, so they called the police on me.

it took me 36 hours, to get a solicitor, get a 30 page affidavid and get an expartate order from family law court to get her back, the ex is just not a fit mother and cant even look after her self.

then today i get some mail in im still on he rcarers list, so i get a copy of everything, she applied for the centrelink single mothers pention a week before she split. so she had planned this all along.

so im now a single dad, i had known i needed to get out of this relationship for years, and its taken this for me to actually do it.

do i hate her or should i hate her mental illness, shes not the same person anymore and never will be.

I know it is a hard thing to say, but after reading this, I am quite sure this was the best that could happen to you and it seems for me that you agree on this. It will of course be hard but you will move on. But now the most important is that you still can have a relationship with your daugther. That I think is the most important.

 

[NatRad]

i am focused on my daughter 100% right now, she is my life and my soul, ive raised her since birth almost by my self. she calls my name out when shes hurt, she runs to meand asks for me all the time.

yes, so many people have come out of the wood work, telling me its about time we split up, she was a total bitch, spoke badly to me, infront of me, and about me all the time, and a lot of thing si neve rknew about, things shes done and said, to get rid of people trying to help me, or she turned me against them.

their telling me im a victim of domestic violnece with all the emotional abuse and brainwashing ive had, its been hard because i think shes had rooted her tenticles deep inside my brain controlling me.

i did everything, she did nothing, and my reward for this, is she has an affair and tries to snatch my daughter, which she doesnt even raise.

 

[mads]

i am focused on my daughter 100% right now, she is my life and my soul, ive raised her since birth almost by my self. she calls my name out when shes hurt, she runs to meand asks for me all the time.

yes, so many people have come out of the wood work, telling me its about time we split up, she was a total bitch, spoke badly to me, infront of me, and about me all the time, and a lot of thing si neve rknew about, things shes done and said, to get rid of people trying to help me, or she turned me against them.

their telling me im a victim of domestic violnece with all the emotional abuse and brainwashing ive had, its been hard because i think shes had rooted her tenticles deep inside my brain controlling me.

i did everything, she did nothing, and my reward for this, is she has an affair and tries to snatch my daughter, which she doesnt even raise.

Your ex-wife seems to have a lot of mental problems, and I am glad to hear that you realize that she should not destroy you because of her problems.

It is very good to hear that you will be 100% focused on your daughter. This is the time where that is of most importance to you.

I dont know how the system works in your country, but if your ex-wife is mentally ill, I think you should ask for full custody over your daugther. If you have a fair legal system in your country, you should get the full custody.

 

[NatRad]

yeah in the process of getting full custody of her, i have temp full custody through a court order.

had to get the police out to remove her, after we located her, she wasnt telling us where they were, so had to send poice out, drove 26 hours to get her at night. id crawl over broken glass to get her back though.

i should have taken her out sooner though, my daughter wasnt safe with her. the last few months, when i go to work im scared, the ex didnt wake up until 1pm or later, and my daughter woudl wake up and start fending for he rself unsupervised, make a mess, try to prepare her own food and drinks. starting forming habbits of trying to hide food, as she didnt know when she owuld eat next.

the ex, was emotionally unstable, her moods were love the daughter, and then frustrated and annoyed, she really couldnt cope looking after her by her self anymore.

i just feel sorry i didnt do it sooner, putting 30 pages down of all the bad things she has done recently, just puts things into perspective, and you go why didnt i take her out of this ****hole environment sooner. appart from that shes bled my dry every single cent.

 

[mads]

yeah in the process of getting full custody of her, i have temp full custody through a court order.

had to get the police out to remove her, after we located her, she wasnt telling us where they were, so had to send poice out, drove 26 hours to get her at night. id crawl over broken glass to get her back though.

i should have taken her out sooner though, my daughter wasnt safe with her. the last few months, when i go to work im scared, the ex didnt wake up until 1pm or later, and my daughter woudl wake up and start fending for he rself unsupervised, make a mess, try to prepare her own food and drinks. starting forming habbits of trying to hide food, as she didnt know when she owuld eat next.

the ex, was emotionally unstable, her moods were love the daughter, and then frustrated and annoyed, she really couldnt cope looking after her by her self anymore.

i just feel sorry i didnt do it sooner, putting 30 pages down of all the bad things she has done recently, just puts things into perspective, and you go why didnt i take her out of this ****hole environment sooner. appart from that shes bled my dry every single cent.

But you did it, remember that. Be proud of that. I am very glad to hear that you got temp custody over your daughter, I am sure you will get the full custody. Good luck

 

[NatRad]

i dont think any magistrate would give custody to her, its now up to, how many access visits she can get. i think the proposed arrangements are suitable but i want her supervised.

 

[DebbieDowner]

Your daughter is extremely lucky to have you for a father.

I can't even imagine the pain you must be going through after ten years of marriage and it ending with you fearing for your daughter's safety, among other things. And, as mads said, you and your daughter are much better off without your ex's abuse and manipulation. Good luck and stay strong.

 

[lollipop103]

I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong, there are better things in the future to look forward to.

 

[Noca]

Screw that bitch of an ex you had and just focus on taking care of/raising your daughter.

 

[Dronee]

i am focused on my daughter 100% right now, she is my life and my soul, ive raised her since birth almost by my self. she calls my name out when shes hurt, she runs to me and asks for me all the time.

Hey... don't forget to take care of yourself and your body as well... Get as healthy as possible. And take care of the sleeping issues too... You yourself are the best gift to your daughter.

 

[NatRad]

i asked my daughter if she missed her mummy today and she said no, mummys asleep. now thats saying something.

all she did was sleep her life away,always has..

 

[NatRad]

ive been raising my daughter by my self since i was born anyway, im her mummy and daddy in one. always have been, always will be.

im going to try and fix my rotator cuff too, the physio also hit the books and thinks my first rib has been dislodged and jammed behind something which is why im not makign too much progress, something up in the neck..

 

[mrb]

sorry to hear all about your troubles mate ... im divorced myself and went throught a lot of crap ... you sound like a good dad , just focas on your daughter , thats all i did when mine went wrong , and in the end you will probaly realise as i did that your better off without that woman ...

 

[Remus]

do i hate her or should i hate her mental illness, shes not the same person anymore and never will be.

neither, just move on and keep the strong bond with your daughter, rise above any nastyness from your ex, she will probably interfere and cause more probelms, keep a level head and use all legal and social worker help there is.

I got custody of my two kids back in '97 for pretty similar reasons to yourself.

 

[NatRad]

ive always been a single dad, but now its different, so new things to learn..

i wonder if they can deprogram me, from all this.