Falkor
1
Hello there, hope anybody takes the time to read this because i'm in a very hard situation. But if you're in a hard situation yourself, don't bother, you have too much on your mind for yourself, so just decide whether you read it or not, i respect it.
Two weeks ago i tried a new medicine called haldol and it made me very suspicious all the time, thinking that my gf doenst love me anymore while she does, being more afraid of people again and thinking they're always looking at me.
Also these 2 weeks i've been very depressed and huge panic attacks and a lot of crying. I am in a lot of pain lately and hope to talk to people here, maybe some of you have fb or want to PM, about depression, anxiety and panic attacks or one of those.
I got a new medicine against anxiety and suspicion and depression called Abilify and i took it since 3 days and i hope it will help soon. it will take 3 weeks to kick in, and i'm afraid these weeks will be very scary. I hope these 3 weeks will be okay, i'm so anxious all the time and maybe it's not just medicine maybe it's myself who'se freaking out all the time, maybe it's not the medication at all. Since i got a lot of conflicts with people. That also makes it worse and very stressful.
Also i still have no education and i hope i will find a school, i emailed an evening school and i hope i can apply. Because my rythm at the morning is very bad because i've been at home for a very long time now and you can imagine it's hard to pour out that habit.
I've been at my parents since wednesday and today we are going to gourmet, have a nice time with my parents, brother and grandparents. after they will bring me back to the train station so i can go back to my girlfriend. I really want to be with her, because your partner you need the most in difficult times.
I do find it hard that my SO doesn't get it why i can't snap out of the anxiety and just find it an adventure, to face my fears. it's not as easy like that. Also it's not going well with her mother, so i can understand it's taking a toll on her. She can't be my carer. She is my partner, not my therapist. So we also decided we won't be together everyday like we did (we just couldn't be without eachother
) but we both need time for ourselves because we get a lot of fights and miscommunications. It increases my separation anxiety because she's my gold, my world, my dream. But i should trust her and that she has the best intention for me, for saying that i should conquer my fears. but i do find that i don't get enough support from her because she thinks too easy about problems, she's an optimist and i have a depression. She wants me to not be depressed all the time, which is completely understandable. It is hard for us both and i'm not saying that she's a bad person, she's great, i just hope the time aparts will help us retain energy from my severely problems.
Also I might go back to mental hospital but i don't know if i want that. I first want to see if Abilify will help me enough, but i do have to say that i still have a very bad look on myself that i can get through this.
Hope any of you readed this and wants to PM or fb with me, i hope to make new friends and talk to people who have anxiety or anything like that. Doesn't matter where you are from, virtual friends are beautiful too.
Well anyways thanks for reading and hope that somebody replies.
Two weeks ago i tried a new medicine called haldol and it made me very suspicious all the time, thinking that my gf doenst love me anymore while she does, being more afraid of people again and thinking they're always looking at me.
Also these 2 weeks i've been very depressed and huge panic attacks and a lot of crying. I am in a lot of pain lately and hope to talk to people here, maybe some of you have fb or want to PM, about depression, anxiety and panic attacks or one of those.
I got a new medicine against anxiety and suspicion and depression called Abilify and i took it since 3 days and i hope it will help soon. it will take 3 weeks to kick in, and i'm afraid these weeks will be very scary. I hope these 3 weeks will be okay, i'm so anxious all the time and maybe it's not just medicine maybe it's myself who'se freaking out all the time, maybe it's not the medication at all. Since i got a lot of conflicts with people. That also makes it worse and very stressful.
Also i still have no education and i hope i will find a school, i emailed an evening school and i hope i can apply. Because my rythm at the morning is very bad because i've been at home for a very long time now and you can imagine it's hard to pour out that habit.
I've been at my parents since wednesday and today we are going to gourmet, have a nice time with my parents, brother and grandparents. after they will bring me back to the train station so i can go back to my girlfriend. I really want to be with her, because your partner you need the most in difficult times.
I do find it hard that my SO doesn't get it why i can't snap out of the anxiety and just find it an adventure, to face my fears. it's not as easy like that. Also it's not going well with her mother, so i can understand it's taking a toll on her. She can't be my carer. She is my partner, not my therapist. So we also decided we won't be together everyday like we did (we just couldn't be without eachother
) but we both need time for ourselves because we get a lot of fights and miscommunications. It increases my separation anxiety because she's my gold, my world, my dream. But i should trust her and that she has the best intention for me, for saying that i should conquer my fears. but i do find that i don't get enough support from her because she thinks too easy about problems, she's an optimist and i have a depression. She wants me to not be depressed all the time, which is completely understandable. It is hard for us both and i'm not saying that she's a bad person, she's great, i just hope the time aparts will help us retain energy from my severely problems.Also I might go back to mental hospital but i don't know if i want that. I first want to see if Abilify will help me enough, but i do have to say that i still have a very bad look on myself that i can get through this.
Hope any of you readed this and wants to PM or fb with me, i hope to make new friends and talk to people who have anxiety or anything like that. Doesn't matter where you are from, virtual friends are beautiful too.
Well anyways thanks for reading and hope that somebody replies.
