Is what i am hearing true in any way?

[stewiegrif]

Im an 18 year old man and am currently enrolled in college, since about a year ago i have been hearing things and i can distinquish if they are real or not. This may sound strange but somtimes when i walk by a stranger or i am talking to someone i would hear them say a mean insult and i cant tell if i am just hearing things or they are really saying these things. I often hear them say i am ugly or im weird or something duragatory. I usually hear danm your ugly or someting along those lines. I went to the school phycologist and he tried to tell me that i suffer from schitzophrenia or schitzoaffectivenss but i really cannot accept that. Almost every time i hear these voices it has to do with how "ugly i am". For instance i was waiting at the bus station and i thought i heard this women say that i was fugly and or something then i went up to her and asked her why she said that. And she said she did not say anything but maybe she did and she didnt want to admit it. If im hanging otu with my friends i insist that i heard someone say something but my freind are like no they didnt say anything. This is like ruining my life and intefereing with my school work. Its hard to deal with being insulted every day wether it is real or not. I dont know how to cope with this and top of that i have no health insurance so i cannot recieve meds. Sometimes i ponder the thought of sucide but i really cant do that. In all honesty do you think these people really think of my appearence in that mannor like if you saw me would you think danm he is one ugly mofo. I certainly dont talk under my breathe and insult strangers. I dont mean to be vain or concieted in any way i look in the mirror and i see a disfiqured man then i go outside and hear people giving me crap about it. No body ever mentioned anything about my appreance so i thought i could get some honest opinions on here. Am i really that much of an ugly bastard or is this just all in my head. I need to know if i really look that weird i cant go through life not knowing that im strange looking i need someone to tell me so i can move on. Heres a few pics of me Flickr: stewiegrif3's Photostream. Dont comment mean things maybe a yes or no and some advice on how to cope with it. thank you

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Hey, you got your haircut! You're actually a good looking guy! And, I mean that!

But, you do have a big problem. Hopefully, you're just overly paranoid. But....you could be suffering from Schizophrenia. If you're going to college then you're already paying for health insurance. Your medication will be cheap.
Also check into https://www.express-scripts.com/ . I get most of my medication for free. Also, Walmart has very cheap generic medication as well. Do a little research you can afford the medication.

 

[kihira]

This must be very distressing for you, I hope you can resolve it

I went to the school phycologist and he tried to tell me that i suffer from schitzophrenia or schitzoaffectivenss but i really cannot accept that.

Don't discount this, do some research and see if other people experience similar things. Have you used marijuana at all

I certainly dont talk under my breathe and insult strangers

It would be rare for anyone to randomly do this to anyone, so if you are exeriencing this often, it adds weight to it being a mental condition

Am i really that much of an ugly bastard or is this just all in my head

You look perfectly normal to me, more towards good looking

 

[onecellinthesea]

Hey, you got your haircut! You're actually a good looking guy! And, I mean that!

But, you do have a big problem. Hopefully, you're just overly paranoid. But....you could be suffering from Schizophrenia. If you're going to college then you're already paying for health insurance. Your medication will be cheap.
Also check into https://www.express-scripts.com/ . I get most of my medication for free. Also, Walmart has very cheap generic medication as well. Do a little research you can afford the medication.

Fantastic advice again. I'm in the UK so I'm not much help when it comes to insurance issues etc, but that sounds great that you can get cheaper medication if you're in college.
I had a peek at your pictures and you are good looking! I don't see any reason why anyone would call you any of those things you have described.
Medication may be a good route for you to explore and I hope you are able to secure it if you feel you would like to try it as a way of managing your symptoms. All the best.

 

[stewiegrif]

I smoked alot of marijuana when i was 16 then at around 17 i started having these problems. Now i might use like every other day. Do you think weed exaserbates things?

 

[kihira]

I smoked alot of marijuana when i was 16 then at around 17 i started having these problems. Now i might use like every other day. Do you think weed exaserbates things?

How cannabis can trigger schizophrenia | Mail Online

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I smoked alot of marijuana when i was 16 then at around 17 i started having these problems. Now i might use like every other day. Do you think weed exaserbates things?

YES!!!! I definitely do! Try quitting pot, that should alleviate some/a lot of your paranoia.

 

[catrin87]

you are DEFINITELY not ugly! It sounds like you are suffering from severe paranoia. I witnessed my brother go through a very similar experience a few years ago. He was smoking a lot of weed at the time and we are in no doubt that that was what was causing the paranoia and delusional thoughts. I really recommend that you quit and try to get some sort of help. good luck!

 

[Subpop]

Hi stewiegrif. I experienced a similar situation when I was in my mid to late teens and early twenties. I used marijuana fairly regularly. I also started experimenting with strong psychaedelics. Not long after I began to become very critical of my facial structure, to the point where I considered myself to be very ugly (like a freak) and withdrew from all social interaction apart from going to work. A few of my friends made comments regarding my facial features and unfortunalely I was overly sensitive to their comments. I also became very anxious and deeply depressed. Post suicide attempt, it was suggested that I had developed a Schitzo-Effective type illness. No-one made the outright connection for me, but I think it was a combination of smoking weed, an introspective personality type and childhood bullying that encouraged me to internalise a lot of experiences. If I were to be faced with the same circumstances again, knowing what I know now, I would definately stay away from the weed and seek out some assistance with understanding the internalisation process and how to avoid being so self critical.

Sorry about the long reply, but I really can relate to your post as it reminded me of myself some 20 years ago. If you can talk with a counsellor, and are honest with them, I think it will help you to begin to understand your situation and help you to reduce or stop using weed.

 

[mikebird]

Now this is my next area to find out about: Schizophrenia

I always thought it's not appropriate to me. Just the way I thought about: autism.

Your symptoms have got to me. I get it all the time.
I see TV presenters flapping their mouths. I can't turn their sound into words.
Same for some movies... I often would ask a friend 'what did they just say?'
I have to assume. I'm training myself and learning my difficulties. eg. listening to lectures might have left me lost.

I've been having sessions with Audiology at my hospital about each quarter, and this week is my fourth. It's all about old people's hearing and devices in your ear to make thing louder. My Dad got this and he's very hard to speak to. He rejected the device offered to him years ago. He complains that his loss of hearing was due to the guns in WWII.

I've had my hearing tested years ago, many times. I have been in festivals and different very big & loud parties which are fun and I wondered if it's affected me. Glad to get the clear result. Wonder if I've been lied to. Lucky. I think my hearing is immaculate. Aware of 'selective hearing' in the mind where understanding can be mentally filtered out.

Years before, I always had big trouble listening to anyone in a mildly noisy bar environment. I felt if people could hear me at any event when I really wanted to communicate by shouting... eg. 'where are the toilets?' or 'the toilets are here' :sarcastic:

The phone is a big problem for me. There's more to just hearing a voice. Dog bark doesn't convey much info. I wait for an assumed structure in conversation. I'm blown away by people's odd approach. Hopeless sounds.

Audiology mentioned noise. So many things I don't need help with..

Any small extractor fan, road tyre noise, wind, water flow, buzzing... makes me hear a tune; vocals! In my head! Not what's being played. It's my mind reminding me.

Learning hand signals might help me. No motivation yet; hard to accept

In a meeting at work, interview, and lectures: I would get the first sentence, and not listen to any more. My mind would spin off on a tangent / off-topic, in my own thoughts. Any speaking up by offering my own opinion puts everyone off immediately


Yes: weed and others.. :bigsmile:
Maybe all my worries revolve around that. During my best years, my own tuition and self-mentoring told me that I might regret that. It made me the best sociable friend in my life. I was confident that any drawbacks or failures due to this was well worth it; every minute!

 

[Kiwong]

It could be that you have hurt by what people have siad to you in the past. And so now you are hyper-vigilant listening to what people have to say, and imagining they are talking to you.

 

[stewiegrif]

You people dont find me to be weird looking i mean i get crap about my apperence alot sometimes people dont even look me in the eye

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

No! You're a good looking guy! Here's a couple things for you to think about.

1. If you're walking around PARANOID people will feel that vibe and act accordingly. When you're paranoid you see others as a threat and of course people are going to pick up on that.

2. People in general have trouble with eye contact. I have big problems with this myself. It's more of a personal insecurity and self preoccupation issue than it is with who I'm not looking at. In most cases, it's them, not you.

Stop smoking weed. Eat healthy foods and work on your self esteem. Your appearance is just fine but your mental health needs proper care (enough sleep, no drugs, healthy diet, exercise etc).

 

[dallasthekid]

hey dude, i used to to think people were saying means things about me all the time when i was talking to them. i remember one time at best buy i was buying a laptop and i thought the salesman called me " a little ****" right in front of me, then i asked the guy i was with and he said he didnt hear him say that at all. they diagnosed me with schizophrenia too. i also used to smoke alot of weed , and i definatley think it could make things worse if you have paranoia already. but yeah if you ever want to talk about it or ask me anything, i would be happy to reply

 

[stewiegrif]

Is there any way to stop hearing these things with out meds?