Is this normal?

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Nack

Banned
I think this started back in the summer when i just gotten my first job, there was this cute asain girl that i saw *not enough it seems...* The first time i saw her, it was like meh... But constantly i keep bumping into her, and at one point we said some things to each other. After that its like i can't stop thinking about her... My imagination went as far as seeing myself getting married to her and having a family. But, i had no choice but to quit the job and go to school full time again.

But, now! There's another attractive lady in one of my class and these thoughts are coming up again. And i havn't even talked to her, but i won't let her get away :D. Im going to try and force myself to talk to her and hopefully becomes friend with her.

But, yea going back to the issue at hand. Whenever i see a "compatible" women, my thoughts goes crazy about her. And i think this is the issue why i can't talk to them... Tell me, is this normal?
 
MadHatter

MadHatter

Member
I agree with Barry there is nothing with you, but if you voice these thoughts to her she might run for the hills.
 
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releaseme

Well-known member
attractiveness does not always define compatibility.

and getting to "know" that compatibility, can take a very long time. i've known a few people, who after a few years of knowing them, i found i didn't know them at all.
 
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releaseme

Well-known member
Nacke said:
Well isn't that the first factor into finding a mate? :D
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not necessarily...beauty is found in the eyes of the beholder. character goes a lot further for me, than physical beauty because from that character, they become beautiful.
 
N

Nack

Banned
releaseme said:
not necessarily...beauty is found in the eyes of the beholder. character goes a lot further for me, than physical beauty because from that character, they become beautiful.
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Yes of course, but in order for you to know their character. Wouldn't you have to think they're attractive to you first before you act upon trying to know them?
 
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releaseme

Well-known member
Nacke said:
Yes of course, but in order for you to know their character. Wouldn't you have to think they're attractive to you first before you act upon trying to know them?
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yes. but there is a but. just because You find them attractive, does not mean they will be compatible for you.

you said...
Nacke said:
Whenever i see a "compatible" women, my thoughts goes crazy about her.
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the point i was trying to make is...instead of going through your day thinking about her being compatible for you simply because you find her physically attractive, get to know her.

there have been many women i was attracted to physically, only to begin conversation and found, there was no compatibility at all. it puts a different perspective on attractiveness when you find out, physical attractiveness alone, does not always define compatibility. it's the mindset of the individual that also creates attractiveness.
 
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releaseme

Well-known member
Nacke said:
But, yea going back to the issue at hand. Whenever i see a "compatible" women, my thoughts goes crazy about her. And i think this is the issue why i can't talk to them... Tell me, is this normal?
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to answer your question a little more directly...yes it's normal. and it comes from the fear of being rejected.

and if you dont believe what i've said...try doing this.

look at the females in your class...all of them. and find the one you find the least attractive. go up to her and begin a conversation (about anything). continue that conversation and become her friend. talk to her daily. do this with any woman you do not find physically attractive. i would be willing to bet, you'll find your compatible with who you dont find physically attractive. if anything comes from it, at least you will have made some new friends...
 
N

Nack

Banned
Hehe, it seems i choosen the wrong word. :\

What i mean is that when i see someone that i'm attractive to, i get crazy thoughts about them. And no, when i say i'm attractive its them them, its not only to their appearance, but the way they act and talk, etc... does that make sense? I'm not that shallow of a guy, i know of some women that look beautiful but the way they act and do things just turns me off.

And no Jake... I've made friend with some no so beautiful people. Actually, those "beautiful" people such as outgoing, preppy w/e people scares me...
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Nacke said:
Yes of course, but in order for you to know their character. Wouldn't you have to think they're attractive to you first before you act upon trying to know them?
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Sometimes it's better to know them first. External things say nothing. A person turns attractive in your eyes when you find their personality attractive. If you go for the looks first, you might get disappointed or hurt.

I somewhat thought about a box of chocolates. The box might look pretty, perfectly wrapped, with a nice shape and nice colors and a lot of details like flowers and bows... But if when you open the box, all the chocolate inside is old and rotten, then it's pointless to buy the box... Unless you want to get poisoned or something.

I hope i've made sense here :D (I don't think i have)
 
Jake123

Jake123

Banned
Hellhound said:
Sometimes it's better to know them first. External things say nothing. A person turns attractive in your eyes when you find their personality attractive. If you go for the looks first, you might get disappointed or hurt.

I somewhat thought about a box of chocolates. The box might look pretty, perfectly wrapped, with a nice shape and nice colors and a lot of details like flowers and bows... But if when you open the box, all the chocolate inside is old and rotten, then it's pointless to buy the box... Unless you want to get poisoned or something.

I hope i've made sense here :D (I don't think i have)
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Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get... lol
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
There is nothing wrong with that,just be careful to not fall in to deep without knowing the person....
 
Mikefly

Mikefly

Well-known member
Yeah it's normal ive had these thoughts and even thought about marrying a socialable person if i could so our children will have "better" social genetics or marry a really athletic woman so our children would be excellent at sports.
 
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