is this depression?

[eckoz]

A little background on me first to maybe help you assess properly...

Im 20 years old, quit highschool at 17 to do homeschooling because i was smoking to much pot which caused me to become very paranoid/ self concious/ anti - social type person. ive always been lazy and a procrastinater. i put off doing things that dont interest me( for example homeschool work) for long periods of time.

I have become slightly over weight since i quit going to school every day. i was in great shape before , now im just kinda pugy with a fat face. i have a treadmill and i want to run on it, but every time i think i want to run on it , i have a REALLY hard time getting the motivation to actually get up and run on it, from the time i have the thought that i want to lose weight get in shape and be more healthy and should be running on my treadmill. theres not even a internal voice or concious saying anything, and i dont know why but i just dont want to do it, though i actually do.... sorry if thats confusing.

The same thing happens any time i have to do anything that doesnt interest me. Also when i got a job after a while of being at home every day i found it really hard to relate to people. for example at lunch one time me and this girl were the only people who didnt smoke there so we didnt go out for a smokebreak but ate lunch together and kind of talked a lil. though she did most of the talking, she just talked about literally everything, from her interests to shit that happened to her on the weekend or whatever, and the whole time found it REALLY hard to look like i was interested in what she was having to say, or things to respond with.. Is this because i am depressed? or is this social phobia or both. i know i have mild social phobia,but im not sure about depression.. any1 with experience in depression know if this looks like i have depression? thanks

 

[Noca]

pot makes one "lazy and a procrastinator", most likely the reason you stopped highschool.

 

[eckoz]

thanks that doesnt really answer my question

 

[lurknomore]

It could be both SP and depression. Not feeling motivated to exercise or do other tasks that you're responsible for doing sounds like depression, and the inability to relate to or be interested in what your coworker was talking about could be SP (if you were afraid to talk rather than just having nothing to say), or could just be a side effect of depression- usually when you're depressed you find it hard to be interested in anything at all. Do you have any strong passions or interests such as art, music, or any other possible hobbies, or do you find that things that used to interest you don't anymore? If you're not feeling strongly interested in anything, I would say that you probably have depression, but I'm not a doctor or anything... just a former sufferer of severe depression.

 

[DaaaBulls]

Depression for me was feeling super down. To the point where I didn't want to do anything or see anyone. Stuff I enjoyed before like video games or movies did not interest me at all. I would have depressing thoughts about the past about how no one liked me and this would get my mood even lower.

Hope this helps

 

[Noca]

thanks that doesnt really answer my question

Go get diagnosed by a doctor if you want to know then.

 

[DaaaBulls]

Doctors don't always know the answer and if they say they do then who are we to believe them? I would put my trust into people who have dealt with and experienced depression/anxiety first hand instead of someone making hundreds of thousands of dollars who learned everything from a text book.

 

[eckoz]

It could be both SP and depression. Not feeling motivated to exercise or do other tasks that you're responsible for doing sounds like depression, and the inability to relate to or be interested in what your coworker was talking about could be SP (if you were afraid to talk rather than just having nothing to say), or could just be a side effect of depression- usually when you're depressed you find it hard to be interested in anything at all. Do you have any strong passions or interests such as art, music, or any other possible hobbies, or do you find that things that used to interest you don't anymore? If you're not feeling strongly interested in anything, I would say that you probably have depression, but I'm not a doctor or anything... just a former sufferer of severe depression.

thanks for that. i would say that i wasnt afraid to talk to her, i genuinely felt like i just didnt care what she was saying. and i dont mean to sound rude here , but she was very overweight and not atractive at all, which would make talking to her completely easy in my books (i only freeze up when they are very good looking)

i do have several interests, including computer music production, which sort of goes hand and hand with listening to music, writing screenplay's, as well as cooking. I also used to play ALOT of video games growing up and could literally play all day and not get bored at all. now i can hardly play games longer then 30 minutes without starting to get bored, and that feeling of something unknown holding me back also occurs slightly any time i want to open up my music production program and start making some tunes. i still have fun and enjoy making music, but that feeling of not wanting to do it does occurr slightly anytime i want to open up the program and start writing music, its kind of like a i dont want to do anything sort of feeling, but its nowhere near as strong as when i have to do something i really dislike such as work...