is there such a thing as friends

[steve1]

u explain yourself and all your problems to what u think are friends and they seem to get off on your sadness........is this part of life or is it only me.May be i should look for new people to be around? What do u people think?

 

[jayo]

People need time to understand how this thing can affect you.

I'm sure you'll find support from them once they understand the weight of these problems.

 

[Falcon]

In general, people don't want to be burdened with others' problems. In general, people don't want to have to give sympathy because it is emotionally draining.

Think of it this way, who would be more fun to hang around with, a positive, happy, fun, person, or someone who always seems to want sympathy and advice about problems? It's a no-brainer.

That's not to say that friends can't help us with our problems. They can. But in small doses, and it has to be balanced with the fun side of you as well.

 

[thequietone]

People find our problems hard to deal with. I know this by experience, and to tell the truth, I wish I had kept my mental issues secret. I just thought that if I told the truth, got it all out, that I would feel better, but this wasn't the case.
I don't think my friends "got off" on my sadness. One friend was uncomfortable and didn't want to talk about it. Another friend didn't know what to say, but tried her best to appear sympathetic.
Neither of them understood. Here's the thing. If you haven't experienced it, there is no way to understand. That's why we get upset, because we feel alone. We pour our souls to people we trust and their reactions are substandard because they have nothing to relate it too.
steve1, I think if your friends were purposely cruel to you, then their negative influence is no good. But if they just didn't understand or were uncomfortable, it's not really their fault.
I think about that too, looking for people "more like me". That's why this site is great, because all of us understand. There's nothing wrong with keeping old friends and branching out a little, though. But this can be difficult for those of us with social phobia, so take it slow.

 

[r0ck0ut04]

I have friends that are for the most part supportive of my problem, but not understanding. I dont blame them either they dont have Sa so how would they understand. Some people are just stupid sometimes and dont know how bad things are. I think if there really are your friends they would except you for the type of person you are, and try to help you best they can. Other wise they not such good friends.

 

[young]

In general, people don't want to be burdened with others' problems. In general, people don't want to have to give sympathy because it is emotionally draining.

People may not want to know what's going on in your life. That's the difference between friends and general people. If your friends don't want to know. Than they were never truly your friends.

And some can't handle seeing their friends and family going thru such a rough time. When all they can do is sit there and not be able to help.

 

[JonnyA]

Think of it this way, who would be more fun to hang around with, a positive, happy, fun, person, or someone who always seems to want sympathy and advice about problems? It's a no-brainer.

Not for me. Positive, happy, fun people make me feel inadequate, because I am none of those things. I want to be myself around my friends - only someone who has suffered from some of my problems is likely to let me.