Is there a difference between liking someone and just wanting to be liked?

[Koime]

It's a weird thing i've been thinking about for a while. Like, sometimes it seems like I'm a little desperate for people to like me and that makes my feelings of friendship or love towards them seem like they're fake to me. Say a guy I don't really have anything in common with would try to talk to me and i'd rather have someone else try to be my friend but he's the only one so I'm kinda meh about it. Is that real friendship? Or I don't talk to many girls so one I talk to is a little sweet and nice so I develop feelings for them. Is that even real?

I feel like maybe it's stupid to even question it, but I can't help but do it sometimes.

 

[jaim38]

Yes there is a difference. Liking someone comes from the heart, but wanting to be liked is like trying to persuade or force people to like you. I had a dream last night along the same lines. I dreamt I was friends with a guy until his friend told me he likes me, and afterwards I was interested in him as a potential bf. Maybe the dream is an expression of my subconscious desire to be liked and accepted by people in general. After all, I've always been an outcast all these years.

Or I don't talk to many girls so one I talk to is a little sweet and nice so I develop feelings for them. Is that even real?

I don't think you should be so quick to settle on 1 girl, unless she's actually your dream girl and compatible with you on many levels. There are many fishes in the sea. You should figure out what type of person you like and the deal breakers before you go pick and choose.

 

[Koime]

Thanks for the reply, I get what you're saying. It's getting a little difficult as I've become lonely over the years to tell whether my liking for someone is coming from the heart. I think I understand though, a little better at least. Maybe I just get stressed because I want the feelings to be coming from the heart when I know they aren't and that confuses me a little.

I've gotten better about judging relationship love too I guess, I do know what I like and I know I don't want to fool myself on something like that since it'll just end up hurting myself or someone else.