Is shyness something that you can get over or..

[missjesss]

Is it part of your genetic makeup??

Although I have overcome some main components of social phobia I still realize I won't go back to study, and I am finding it hard to change anything in my life because I am still too scared too.

I hate new situations and I always have from memory even when I was a child I used to quit things when it would involve me being the center of attention and when I didn't know anyone, what if it's just the way I am?? I'm sorry I just need to vent.

I currently have a full time job on a computer 9-5pm with little contact with people I have worked with people in previous years but I hated those jobs this one just doesn't stress me out. The thing is though I'm still really unhappy with my life and career goals, I'm very lazy when it comes to house work I feel as though I have no motivation to do anything.

Any advice would be great thanks!

 

[kihira]

Is it part of your genetic makeup??

Although I have overcome some main components of social phobia I still realize I won't go back to study, and I am finding it hard to change anything in my life because I am still too scared too.

I hate new situations and I always have from memory even when I was a child I used to quit things when it would involve me being the center of attention and when I didn't know anyone, what if it's just the way I am?? I'm sorry I just need to vent.

I currently have a full time job on a computer 9-5pm with little contact with people I have worked with people in previous years but I hated those jobs this one just doesn't stress me out. The thing is though I'm still really unhappy with my life and career goals, I'm very lazy when it comes to house work I feel as though I have no motivation to do anything.

Any advice would be great thanks!

Hi missjesss - from my experience it gets easier as we get older, but its something that we have to continually work at, especially when particular situations cause problems. So returning to study, for instance, would be a challenge at first, but get easier the more you did - I really enjoy being a student now and am mulling around the idea of doing some uni.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

It is hard to overcome shyness but certainly possible. There have been a couple of times in my life where I have felt perfectly comfortable around people, and have felt quite extroverted. What is hard though, is holding onto this for a long period of time. It is quite easy to slip back into your old habits of trying to avoid people as much as you can.

My theory is that people's upbringing has a lot to do with ongoing shyness. If you are always around a lot of people as a child and are forced to socialise then you are likely to overcome any shyness before in becomes ingrained into your subconscious mind. If your parents tend to comfort you or do things that you really ought to do yourself, then it tells the mind that it is okay to feel the way you do because someone will be there to help you. Unfortunately this only works until you grow up and are expected to take on things yourself.

Also something you should bear in mind, is that it is easier to study or re-invent yourself when you are still young. Once you hit a certain age, then you will find it difficult to find work in a new field unless you have lots of experience. So if you aren't feeling good about your current job, and don't want to be doing it until you retire, then think about changing as soon as you can.

 

[Kiwong]

I believe that shyness is probably genetic, and is also influenced by life experience.

My next door neighbour said I would grow out of my shyness, but I haven't

I didn't get over my shyness it developed into depression and anxiety

 

[missjesss]

Aussie_Lad

I was forced to socialize and go to big family gatherings etc however when it came to going out to parties etc when I was a teenager my dad was overly strict he was quite overprotective (which is a big factor for ppl with s.a) also apparently in my personality type i am naturally quiet and reserved which is true bcoz I have been the same all my life the truth is tho I have no interest in talking to ppl I don't know or wouldn't like I don't like making small talk unless I have to

Back to studying I think I should just give it a go then :/

 

[missjesss]

Kiwong

I think certain genetic makeups are definitely more prone to shyness etc I even remember being a kid I felt nervous being the center of attention amongst people and surroundings I didn't know and it's still the case ;/

 

[popolala]

What has being lazy has anything to do with Shyness?

I think if your lazy, and shy, then thats just worse, because you wont make the move to change. People who i know who out grew shyness are not lazy, and some people seem shy, but actually they pretty confident inside, so they change dramatically. Even if its genentic, you can fight it.

People dont be who they are, if they didnt learn from experience or others. You can blame it on genetic, but there are others out there who prove you can break free from it. If you believe in yourself!

 

[missjesss]

well I'm not being lazy because I have been getting treatment for social phobia for the past year and I have overcome that slowly! now my problem is mainly shyness ...

 

[popolala]

well I'm not being lazy because I have been getting treatment for social phobia for the past year and I have overcome that slowly! now my problem is mainly shyness ...

are you really shy?... because if thats u in the pic, no offense, you dont look shy. maybe you have other problem? how are you shy?

 

[missjesss]

everyone says that too me !! looks can be deceiving let me tell you!

yes I am shy unless I know people...

 

[popolala]

everyone says that too me !! looks can be deceiving let me tell you!

yes I am shy unless I know people...

then you aint really shy... not to me.

most people are shy first time they meet others.. once you get to know them.. you open up.. if you are comfortable. which is normal.

are you shy at first time? ... if so, do you blush, get nervous etc... (symptoms of shyness) ... if not, then maybe you just not interested.. which isnt shyness.. its just you are not interested..

 

[missjesss]

I am shy when it comes to meeting other girls around my age, when I have to deal with authority figures, when I have to speak up in a group of strangers.

I guess that might be still part of social phobia, and I'm always shy of new surroundings

 

[popolala]

I am shy when it comes to meeting other girls around my age, when I have to deal with authority figures, when I have to speak up in a group of strangers.

I guess that might be still part of social phobia, and I'm always shy of new surroundings

yeah, that is part of social phobia, but i think what you struggle with alot of normal people do, no one really like public speaking. I think everyone has social phobia to a little extent, you may have it dont sound serious. I mean, how often do you speak to a group of strangers? .. rarely right? ..