Is it important for my family member to understand?

[HopefulFriend]

Hello Folks!

Yup, I have Social Anxiety Disorder.

Yup, I am frustranted.

I must tell you I am a positive person. Nope, not a Pollyanna type, but I try look on the bright side (note doesn't work many times .

Does anyone feel frustrated that their family member doesn't "get-it" or at least try to get what they are feeling?

I have to believe that I am loved, and cared about...but why can't ANY of the articles, books, youtube videos be looked at? Aug!

Honestly, I don't get it. Anyone else out there feel the same way? Got any suggestions to why this is happening? Should I just say to myself.."I am loved...does it really matter if my family member really gets my social anxiety?"

Thanks for at least reading my post

 

[IamThisOne]

Hello.

I can relate to what you are saying about family members.

I try to explain to people what I go through and they never understand what I mean. Some try to be supportive, but unless they actually experience what we feel, they never will.

 

[HopefulFriend]

It is frustrating.

I have one family member who doesn't believe in anxiety. How is that even possible? A lot of people have anxiety...even if it isn't an anxiety disorder!

I have another family member who believes in anxiety as a disorder...BUT trys to say that he "understands" what I am going through because he has had shyness in some situations over the years...he also says that he feels that other people have judged him from time to time. (BTW this family member is a social butterfly and loves to chat to everyone he meets.)

That's like someone has just said "I know what it feels like to be bit by a dog because a mosquito bit me the other day" TO a person who has a bleeding leg because a dog just took a chomp out of hit. IN OTHER WORDS the "mosquito" person doesn't have a clue. They just think that they know what the pain feels like. To the "dog bite" person, they would feel very insulted (at least I think so).

I would rather those that don't have this disorder say to me.."I don't have to experience that in my day-to-day life. It must be very difficult. I couldn't possibly understand what you are going through.'

I think if I heard that I might feel that the person really thought about what I had, digested it, and came up with a reasonable statement. I might feel that they cared.

Anyone feel the same way...or am I totally out to lunch

PS. I've never been bit by a dog, so I couldn't possibly understand the pain and fear in a dog bite. I would imagine it would be horrible.

 

[Gerdje]

Yes, it's hard to understand.
My family members really TRY to understand it, in the sense that over the years, they don't take is a light as they did at first, my sister who really is one
fantastic caring person for just everyone and everything says constantly to me "I'm not a social person myself, I always look up against parties and celebrations" she has to attend due to her job and connections. She told me
thousands of times I need to keep myself busy so I won't have time to think so much, while I try to explain here I can't stop thinking about all kind of stuff, being busy or not. It's not that (most) people don't want to understand, its more about experiencing it, and the horrible feelings that overwhelm you.

 

[kihira]

This was a major issue with me, I discussed it with my doctor who said "Oh, she's not psychologically minded then". Some people don't 'get' these issues the same as some don't understand algebra. They have set ideas in their minds and think they know best. The problem for me with this is I suffered a major depression without much emotional support or understanding, which dragged the whole thing on longer than it should have lasted.