Is it easier when you get away?
- Thread starter REC
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Rainman
Well-known member
I think your logic is sound. You are better in a place, where you already know people, have some friends and family, than going somewhere where you have nobody.
I did that once, in fact I went abroad for a very long time, and it was probably the biggest and most expensive mistake of my life, when I got back I was in depression.
I have found that SA does not really depend on location or your work place, or the groups you meet. If you suffer from it, it will get you anywhere you go. The problem is internal, it manifests in your behaviour and people form impressions about you from it.
Sometimes, you get lucky, and meet the right people. It could be, where you go, there will be more accepting people, but most of the time it is the same people. Besides, you could find those accrpting people at your place as well, if you try and find them. They are a rare breed to find.
I did that once, in fact I went abroad for a very long time, and it was probably the biggest and most expensive mistake of my life, when I got back I was in depression.
I have found that SA does not really depend on location or your work place, or the groups you meet. If you suffer from it, it will get you anywhere you go. The problem is internal, it manifests in your behaviour and people form impressions about you from it.
Sometimes, you get lucky, and meet the right people. It could be, where you go, there will be more accepting people, but most of the time it is the same people. Besides, you could find those accrpting people at your place as well, if you try and find them. They are a rare breed to find.
Rainman
Well-known member
If you really want to do it, I say go ahead, follow your heart. Even though my experiences were mostly bad when I went abroad, I did actually learn quite from it and had some different experiences. In many years time, I may even look back fondly on it.
I think exposing yourself to situations that cause you anxiety, is the best way of fighting SA. It is the equivalent of jumping into the deep end, you may either swim or drown, but if you have enough will power and tolerance, you will swim.
Reholla
Well-known member
oooh yes! I'm in college, and even though I stayed in my "hometown" my parents had to move a few years ago because of jobs. Right when i think i have my anxiety under control, as soon as i travel, or have a different pace of life, my anxiety comes back as if it never left, and just as enduring as before. Its like i have to start completely over again =( its terribly frusturating.
this is a little off subject. But there was this girl I knew who had like a mental disorder (well she had a few) but one was that everytime after she "messed up" in her current city, she would move to the next city and cause more trouble. I know it was because of her disorder, and i am in no way making fun of her. but she was terribly destructive and would complusively lie/steal to get out of situations she dug herself in. She was a freshman in college and by christmas time she had already transferred to 5 different schools. it was just a mess. but basically all because she truly thought when she moved, her problems would go away. even if you want to move, it doesnt mean youre like the girl i described, but its just helpful to be shown that you just have to deal with your problems, take life as it comes, dont run away from things.
this is a little off subject. But there was this girl I knew who had like a mental disorder (well she had a few) but one was that everytime after she "messed up" in her current city, she would move to the next city and cause more trouble. I know it was because of her disorder, and i am in no way making fun of her. but she was terribly destructive and would complusively lie/steal to get out of situations she dug herself in. She was a freshman in college and by christmas time she had already transferred to 5 different schools. it was just a mess. but basically all because she truly thought when she moved, her problems would go away. even if you want to move, it doesnt mean youre like the girl i described, but its just helpful to be shown that you just have to deal with your problems, take life as it comes, dont run away from things.
corvax
Member
I've wondered this a lot myself.
I've always really wanted to live in another country and become a part of another culture, just because I think it's fascinating. I love languages and hate the idea of only speaking English. But at the same time, if I have such a hard time feeling comfortable in my own culture, how would I fare in another, more foreign place? My difficulties with breaking the ice would be magnified times a thousand.
I've always really wanted to live in another country and become a part of another culture, just because I think it's fascinating. I love languages and hate the idea of only speaking English. But at the same time, if I have such a hard time feeling comfortable in my own culture, how would I fare in another, more foreign place? My difficulties with breaking the ice would be magnified times a thousand.
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
I curently live in my eighteenth house. I grew up as the son of a social worker ironicaly. My father used to move between different childrens homes all the time so we shifted with him. It was the most unsettled time of my life and I found it difficult to speak to anyone in new schools or the ares where we lived. I was always the new person. Different places threw up the same challenges time and again so I just gave in and stayed home in my room till we moved again. As an adult I have never been able to settle anywhere and the move continues. Married nine years and lived in 4 houses. I long for the one house I can eventually call HOME and be happy there.
pinkpurple
New member
Don't want to be a downer, but no, it doesn't get easier not for me anyway, moved away to uni, got through my first year and left not just because of the social anxiety, money problems too, so now I'm back home again.
I had wayyy to many expectations it was actually a real let down. I think that was part of my reason for leaving for uni, I thought it would be some miraculous cure.
You should still definitely go for it though don't let SA get in the way
I had wayyy to many expectations it was actually a real let down. I think that was part of my reason for leaving for uni, I thought it would be some miraculous cure.
You should still definitely go for it though don't let SA get in the way
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