Is it better not to know?

[Savannah]

Hello..
I mentioned in a post before, that I was happy to know such a thing as Social Phobia/Social Anxiety Disorder exist.. but I'm not so sure about that anymore.

So life was (is) difficult, even leaving the house is difficult at times..*most times*... but a part of me really thought that was 'normal' (of course, someone who has had SA for the last three years for example, know what it means to 'feel' normal). And maybe I could have carried on like that..?

...but now that I know such a thing exists and my feelings are not 'normal',...I seem to be constantly shaky and on edge, even if I'm doing nothing... I keep analysing the past, wondering if the future will change, or there will even be a 'future' etc. etc.

Does anyone else feel like this? Would it have been better not to have known? (not that I can change that now) Does it mean I've already given up?

Usually being ignorant isn't a good thing, but it might just have been a good thing in this case.

Here is an example: I think my grandma has a social phobia.. now that I know what it is. She's 80 yrs old, been married, had 7 children and now lots of grand children and great grand children. And I'm sure life was no picnic for her.. but she's done pretty well! And because she doesn't know anything about 'social phobia' maybe she thought everything was all normal.. difficult, but normal.

Maybe I'm going crazy...
okay..I'm going to sleep.. I have the flu. *what are the chances of having the flu in the middle of summer.. urgh*

 

[Chrisfishes]

I think the term you need help with is "Normal" not social phobia. There's nothing "wrong" with you.The second you start thinking about yourself having a problem that is when it becomes a problem before that it was just the way you were which I am sure was fine. Most "normal" people have more problems than you can imagine but because most "normal " people think their problems are "normal" they don't get labled as problems. I'd rather be labled a social phobic over normal anyday. Maybe that's just me.

 

[black_mamba]

Savannah, I agree 100%. I'm not sure if many others will on this site, since they either have known of the condition for a very long time, or were diagnosed early, or simply do not find it a problem.

I like this forum, I really do, the members are great people, but I regret ever finding out I had a 'condition'. My over analysis of situations was bad enough but now since I constantly think about actively trying to improve my condition (or try to anyway) it puts even more pressure on me not to be nervous. Does that make sense?

My SP was under control before I knew. Well, under control = well hidden, and when it came out it erupted like a volcano and I would cry myself sick begging my boyfriend for help screaming 'what the hell is wrong with me?! I need help! please help me!' I didn't even know what I needed help for. Damn. I guessed it was just depression, like everyone else right? Wrong.

I hate being negative, my new mantra is to try and get over things which get in my way but I really really regret findig out the term social phobia.

So life was (is) difficult, even leaving the house is difficult at times..*most times*... but a part of me really thought that was 'normal' (of course, someone who has had SA for the last three years for example, know what it means to 'feel' normal). And maybe I could have carried on like that..?

I would have loved to carry on like that.

Ignorance was beautifully bliss, 90% of the time anyway. Those crazy blips I mentioned (like mini-panic attacks) were trying to tell me something. Something was wrong...maybe looking at all the advice on this site has helped somewhat, but having a problem with knowing about SP means that they cancel each other out. :x

 

[veryshy]

yes.

 

[MadCat]

Knowledge is power..'nuff said!

 

[Toad]

yeah i'm not to happy with myself finding i had a problem...damn me for thinking i was going crazy :x . Knowing I have this causes it to feed upon itself...it doesnt really help me...if i could ever get the nerve to seek help for this then it would be worth it to have found out, but until that time I regret figuring it out. I haven't known anything else other than the me i am now...so i thought most of the stuff was normal and ok apparently its not though. I suppose it was bound to happen though seen as i over-analyse things...so I was over-analysing how i was acting blah...whatever.

 

[Carina33]

I am gald that I know that I have Social Anxiety. Discoering the reasons behind my strangeness was helpful for me. I realized that I am not just dumb and worthless like so many people have thought of me. I realized that all I had was this irrational fear that I understood was not reasonable.... but that it can be beaten. I struggle quite a bit every single day, and I feel quite a bit horribe.... still.... it makes me feel a lot better to look back at what I was just a few years ago and how much I have imporved.

 

[ColdFury]

Either way I'm miserable, so I don't think it matters

 

[Nightshade]

The only thing that upset me about finding out last year that I fit broadly into the "social phobia" criteria was that nobody (me included) had worked it out earlier.

"What? You mean it's treatable? It can get better? HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!"

I am now much improved as a result of CBT, and can't imagine wanting to go back to how I was a year ago.

To put things in context, I don't have the worst social phobia ever. But I've had a fair history of mental health problems and I'm pretty sure I will continue to do so. I have difficulties that mean that even if (make that WHEN) I can get past the social phobia I'm still likely to have a harder time than usual interacting with people.

One of my relatives is a real inspiration to me. He has schizophrenia, and told me once how relieved he was when he was told he was having schizophenic delusions. He thought they were real of course, and when he found out they weren't, even though it meant that he has a serious and incurable illness, it was much better than his delusions being real. He knows what to do now - takes his medication, ensures he doesn't put himself under too much physical or mental stress and monitors himself closely. Now, his life is pretty normal and you'd never know to speak with him that he had schizophrenia.

I totally agree with Madcat. Knowledge is power.

 

[Fredscars]

I'm glad i know about it, in that i can talk to people - like on here about it.
In some ways i wish i didnt know, because i was blissfully ignorant.
I always thought that everyone was scared to leave the house, that talking was difficult. Im ignored the fact that i struggled, because i didnt want to see it as anything but everyday life.
I told myself i didnt have a problem, but everyone else was putting on the confident fronts so as to not show they were scared.
When i finally accepted that i was the only one that was scared to leave the house, to go into public places...my world just came crashing down.

 

[nerdgirl178]

Yeah I am miserable and makes no difference! However when I found out what was "wrong" with me and it had a name I almost cried. But it just gets worse and worse, I know I should get help and all. So I ask myself sometimes, what if I never get cured? Will I ever get married, have a boyfriend, who would stick around someone with SA forever?

 

[MadCat]

I'm gonna say something so amazingly powerful yet very simple.

If everyone can see something is wrong with you and makes you believe there is something wrong with you, then there is something wrong with you.

If you feel nothing is wrong with you then there isn't.

So to sum it up. The only time there is something wrong is when people point the finger at you. It doesn't matter what label you have, what matters is if you didn't feel anything wrong and others made you feel something is wrong, you'll end up believing it..but why? why trust others?

These are simple but very deep questions that are almost always overlooked. The question being, IS THERE ANYTHING wrong with you? yes or no...based on what facts?

Uhhh.....maybe cut the philosopher bullshit for now.