Is he a "Friend" or "More"?

[mixedupgirl]

I just read "Is he a friend or whore"

LOL :bigsmile:

 

[R3K]

sweet, loyal, handsome, won't cheat on you... all these things sound good on paper but... :idontknow: if there's no real "click," no spark of something special when you two are hanging out, then maybe it's not meant to be. trust your gut, don't think into it so much...

this is just my opinion btw.

 

[sweetncute_shy]

You're more than welcome.

Regrettably, my situation hasn't turned out how I hoped. I can't really go into details of course, but it's left me pretty hollow and lost. I'm just at the point now where I'm going to break contact with her, because I'm finding that I can't come back down from where I was and *only* be a friend to her. It's a shame but that's the way things go. I really fell for her. It took a lot of courage to tell her how I felt, and it's going to take a lot of courage to break contact. :\

You have to understand there are guys like me who only ever seek one type of girl in our lives. Not necessarily through choice, but because of the way I am built. I felt that the compatibility potential with her was off the scale (more than anyone else I've ever met), and for it to not work out has left me numb. Like your guy, I never pushed her, nor would I. I'm 35, I've never been in a relationship, I'm still a virgin, and the last time I kissed a girl was when I was 13. I've been emotionally dormant for the last decade, and she brought me back to life without probably realising she did.

Anyway.. without scaring you, I don't know if there is a solution where no one gets hurt. This is the way of the world and human interaction; there is always vulnerability when you express feelings for someone. It's no one's fault that someone fell for you. As I said above, maybe you just need a bit more time to know if you feel the same way or not. Understand though if you make a decision and he decides to move on, you may not get another chance with him. ;x So really take the time to think about it, don't rush.

Hey thanks for your post, sorry to hear about it, hope things get better for you. yeah you are right I need to give it more time Iam thinking we can remain friends for now and see how it goes from there. Who knows I might develop feelings for him too. I'm very emotionally attached to him and I want him to stay with me.

 

[Saraswati]

I had a guy that was really really into me and I didn't feel the same. We were hanging out for a while and I gave it some time to figure out if I could feel something for him.
Believe it or not, I jumped when I felt SOMETHING eventhough it was not a really strong emotion that could be put into words.
We became a couple a year and a half ago and now I don't won't to leave his side.

The basis for a relationship can be friendship. Spend more time together and if you feel that maybe you should give it a go.... just do it ^^
It's really helpful if you find him attractive or if there is something that pulls you towards him to make you feel you could spent a lot of time with that person.

Either way, don't do it just because of him. Doing so will only inflict pain to him and you. Would you want to be with a person who feels only friendship towards you?

Give it time and find out what you want

 

[jc972]

Hi all, I'm new here so not sure if this is the right place to post.But anyway posting it here as I would like to have your suggestions. It's a long story. I will try to keep it short.

I'm very shy, introverted and reserved. I only have a very few friends and there is this "special" guy whom I'm very close to because he also shy just like me and I can relate to him. But lately, he does not talk to me like he used to before and I feel it is because he is very much hurt by my cold attitude towards him and he seems lost and lonely. He is a very sweet guy and loves me a lot but whenever he has expressed it to me, I have walked away as I dint want to get into all that because I'm not sure if he is the right guy however one thing is for sure he cares for me a lot and makes me feel special . He used to care for me so much that it irriated me to some extent at times. But now I feel as if I took him for granted and starting to realize his importance . I miss him a lot and also feeling something for him but still not sure if it is love. I'm damn confused, should I be just friends with him which i think is hurting him as he loves me (though he has never pushed me to love him) or give it some more time to know what I exactly feel for him but it has already been a year since we have known each other. I also want to make him feel special by loving him the way he loves me but I'm still uncertain about our relationship . Am I being selfish here by not trying to push myslef a bit more for a person who cares and loves me a lot. This guy is so caring and loyal that I feel someone better than me might make his life special but he always says that "special someone might be you".

I know it is very hard to find someone who is so caring and loving especially since I'm also shy and introverted.

Thanks in advance for reading!!!

I think you already know what you want to do, don't be worried. Go with your gut feeling:bigsmile: