Is depression definable?

[Collar]

The term is being used and misused in a very loosely fashion which made it an ambiguous term for most

aside from the regular tests made for depression it's difficult to find personal stories from live people describing their own experiences with it.. sometimes it could be confusing because people would say they are depressed but what they say along doesn't fit the profile.. I would have made general example of some posts in the forum except that I can't give examples without referring to other members.. could it be described or is it just indescribable?

I'm asking because I have difficulty writing down what I'm going through when I'm depressed.. and I've realized just recently that I may have an extreme version an advanced stage.. it made me think of an elderly woman she was here on the forum who had talked about having tried shock therapy? I really think I may just reached that limit but I'm going yet to try seeing someone for antidepressant prescription

can you describe what you're going through when being depressed?

 

[MollyBeGood]

This is a really difficult thing for me to write about because I am trying my best not to feel depressed anymore..But I would say for me it's like I am looking at the world with a filter that makes everything darker and feel heavier on my insides. I have to force myself to do anything and everything is a chore. Nothing sounds good anymore, even for me eating food or sex or anything that is normal for anyone else is like something foreign and not appealing. All I want to do is sleep and I cannot stand the light of day or anything for that matter. Nothing makes me feel good. I feel hopeless and like a waste of life. I feel as if I am at the bottom of an endless pit of despair and no one cares and no one can help me and no one understands.

I hated writing that just now b/c I feel pretty decent lately and to be back in that place at all is so horrible, I don't wish it on my worst enemy.
I have written a lot when I am depressed and it is the one thing that does help me is having a journal for anyone who is suffering-write it out. Get it out of you somehow...art, music, writing etc...turn those feelings into something else and then you will have power over them and not the other way around.
Nope meds never were the magic bullet for me..that's ok b/c they scare me.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

I believe a bed can be used to measure depression.The amount of time one spends in bed is usually a good way to tell.

I sleep 16 hours at a time when depression really has gone beyond having a grip on and is inside of me.
The longest period of trying to sleep away the gloom is 36 hours.

Sadly the main part of depression is dysfunction of thought and negativity of expression.You can start to hate yourself through the words you're writing down,and it can have the opposite effect of writing with motivation,make you convince yourself that your situation is hopeless,that the hopelessness is never going to go away.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Hmm SeniorRedrings, for me I am able to look back and see the words which are clearly dysfunctions of thoughts-I can see that they are wrong when the fog of it (depression) lifts just a little. Like my self defeating "no one cares" and "no one understands" are pretty much B.S. I know that now...but in the thick of it I don't.

Otherwise they are just clogging my brain with junk of sadness. Kinda the same way talk therapy helps get stuff out of you but w/out the cost of the therapist.
Some of the best works of art/music and literature were created through sadness and dark times.

I agree laying in bed=dead

 

[SeniorRedrings]

Maybe I need to get a handle on my self pity,I'm getting used to using it and it has started getting out of control.It is very true what you say about post depression hindsight.

 

[Collar]

Yes "I don't wish it on my worst enemy" is a strong statement.. I usually use this to describe the worst things ever of any mental or physical pain.. and I do wonder if there is anything worse than depression? IDK against what.. but with such a loose application of the word it is just the worst

I feel fear.. constant and continues fear, and could also have physical symptoms along with it, it is not just how dark and hopeless do I see life.. it looks like some switch in my brain went off.. I become disconnected with things and time.. get very scared of how dark life seems to be and I barely hold it and keep my sanity.. I'm talking about constant and continues feeling in every single second of the time.. I can't really describe it, it is one of those if you haven't tried it you're not gonna understand it things..

but I don't agree on that some of the best artists or authors created their best when they were depressed.. depression is not sadness and dark times.. when you're depressed you're dead, you can't function at all

the bed criterion? I don't think it's enough or accurate.. I could feel scared of bed because those are the times when you have no source of distraction against yourself and your own thoughts.. not just the period before you fell asleep, you would also fear the dreams and fear the wake ups.. bed is not the friend for the depressed

for a long time I thought loneliness brings depressions but it is the other way around as well, when you're depressed you realize how lonely you are and that no one can help you and no one understands.. total desperation and hopelessness.. but IDK why you drew back saying "no one understands" because this is still true to me


EDIT: It just occurred to me I should differentiate between depression and depressive mode.. what I mean by the word depression the severe depression episodes..

having depressive mode is just normal for people with SAD and I have been living with depressive mode all my life, but this is not what I mean by 'depression' when I use the term on its own

 

[Beatrice]

This is a really difficult thing for me to write about because I am trying my best not to feel depressed anymore..But I would say for me it's like I am looking at the world with a filter that makes everything darker and feel heavier on my insides. I have to force myself to do anything and everything is a chore. Nothing sounds good anymore, even for me eating food or sex or anything that is normal for anyone else is like something foreign and not appealing. All I want to do is sleep and I cannot stand the light of day or anything for that matter. Nothing makes me feel good. I feel hopeless and like a waste of life. I feel as if I am at the bottom of an endless pit of despair and no one cares and no one can help me and no one understands.

I hated writing that just now b/c I feel pretty decent lately and to be back in that place at all is so horrible, I don't wish it on my worst enemy.
I have written a lot when I am depressed and it is the one thing that does help me is having a journal for anyone who is suffering-write it out. Get it out of you somehow...art, music, writing etc...turn those feelings into something else and then you will have power over them and not the other way around.
Nope meds never were the magic bullet for me..that's ok b/c they scare me.

I can relate to much of this. Also, the part about meds.... I don't like the idea of being on medicine either. I am currently, but supposedly regular exercise over a certain time period (I forget how long) can be as effective as antidepressants. That's something I would like to try instead, just regulating it with exercise and not pills. I never planned to be on them long-term anyway. Hopefully not.

My aunt uses the word "depressed" a lot. And maybe sometimes she genuinely does feel depressed. But I DO wonder, because she uses it so loosely and so often. I'd rather use a different term for the way I feel (if I could come up with an adequate, stigma-free one), because when you say you are depressed, a whole slew of connotations comes along with that.

It is very frustrating and leaves people sometimes feeling like, "Maybe I AM just crazy, or pathetic...... a laughable individual." The thing is, if you haven't experienced it yourself, it really IS hard to imagine it. In fact, when I'm not depressed, I find it hard to describe how it feels when I am in that state, because it's just so.... beyond description. Gnawing emptiness, sadness, blah blah blah... sure, but it just doesn't do it justice. Am I right?

 

[Collar]

^ deadly right Beatrice!

I wonder about the meds though, because I'm currently striving to be put on meds.. the thing is I'm desperate for anything that can help, I don't think I can handle another round of my depression and I am really scared of what could happen when I'm no longer able of holding up under this insane pressure.. would you guys further mention what went wrong with your experiences with antidepressants?

Beatrice, do you mean cardio exercise? I would seriously consider buying a treadmill which doesn't come cheap over here but I can't really go to the gym due to SAD and things