is anyone here had bad social skills before and then improved them,any advices?

[otaman20]

Hi!
I used to be very quiet and awkward for my whole life(I'm 20).Lately,I started working on improving my social skills,I'm trying to smile more,be more responsive but I still find that every time I encounter social situation I'm pretty reserved and boring,especially I hate those awkward silences.Those failed interactions made me wonder if it's possible to become social at all.I'm so tired of being alone,that's why I'm so committed to work hard to improve my current situation but I want to know if it's possible and what steps I have to take.I wish to hear from guys who had the same problem and improved.

I crave for romantic relationships and more meaningful friendships so much that I'm willing to do everything that is required.Thanks

 

[Luke1993]

Hello and welcome otaman! Did you steal a page from my autobiography lol? I could've written that exact thing myself!

Like you I'd like to hear advice, I also want to improve! I have improved a bit but only really minor stuff. I don't think being fully normal is possible but I think I can be much closer to a normal person in social skills.

 

[Looking_in105]

one piece of advice i have is: in social situations just speak what's on your mind, anything that comes up really. don't care about what people think of you when you say things. don't think whether they think im stupid, boring, an idiot etc. it can just be random thoughts about your day, what you notice around you etc, just anything.

you'll usually find that people will try to respond to it and it can get the convo going...

 

[Alistair]

Personally, it's a learning process type of thing, IMO. While I still do have social issues, but I have overcome them cause I had too, and I think this is the biggest and best motivator. You just really have to try to work at it, and it will eventually come easier, IMO.

For example, I hate being around people, even to this day, and I still can't talk correctly, or do wrong gestures, but it's not as bad as it use to be. I was forced into this for they asked me to become part of management for my job, and I couldn't say no cause it brought in a good raise, and minor perks. Anyways, like I' stated, this was my major motivation factor of working on social skills.

 

[Blake The Great Ect...]

I went to job corps to manage a lil bit of the problem. I graduated and still im almost the same way. There is somthing deep inside you might be hiding from yourself or lieing to yourself about. Forgiving is hard! It seams like I cnt learn that skill but it doesnt stop me from trying and trying. Forgive!