invisible walls

[worrywort]

I've noticed something in life. I've noticed that I have many invisible walls in my brain. Walls that I can only knock down with hard work or courage. But the more of these walls I knock down the better my life becomes. When I fail to knock the walls down I begin to feel claustraphobic and trapped in by these walls, whereas each time I successfully knock a wall down I begin to feel free and richer with more opportunities opened up to me.

an example of one of these walls is procrastination or lack of commitment. Each time I set myself a goal or commit myself to the completion of a project, I will eventually run into some invisible walls. They'll come in certain forms such as, "don't bother", "What's the point?", "I'm too tired", "I'm not good enough" "I can't do it" etc. But if I allow myself to give up and I fail to get over the wall, the next time I set myself a goal I'm going to feel less confident of success and the size of my dreams will begin to adjust appropriately. Whereas if I fight, and try my hardest, and face my fears and I manage to get past the wall, and I successfully complete the project, the next time I set myself a goal I'm going to feel more confident of success and the size of my dreams will begin to increase appropriately.

Another example is in conversation. When somebody is talking to me there will be a number of possible responses flashing through my brain, but only a very select few will make it past my filtering system and out of my mouth. But what is this filtering system? It's made up of invisible walls. As the responses come to my brain, I'll begin to discard them one by one...."don't say that, they might laugh at you", "no, that will make you seem arrogant" "if you say that you'll be going too far off topic and that's not good social skills", "don't say that either, that's too personal and your voice will shake" etc etc, until eventually the only responses that make it past my filtering system are very simple, safe, generic responses with no risk or personality or character. Whereas, if I can manage to knock down some of these invisible walls, by either taking those risks or by realising that seeming arrogant or weak really isn't as disasterous as I believe it will be, then my filtering system becomes much more lax and allows a far greater abundance of responses through.

So in conclusion, the more invisible walls I can knock down the greater freedom and the richer my life will become. Whereas the more invisible walls I fail to knock down the more cluastraphobic and trapped I will feel by these walls.

Anyone else notice this? Anyone have any other examples of invisible walls, or any tips on how to overcome them?

 

[Lea]

I know what you mean by this. I call it "living in a cobweb".

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Great post worrywort. You're impressively analytical. I love the idea of expanding what you'll let out of your "filtering system" by knocking down the walls and doing it, despite the discomfort initially involved.

Just be sure to use that analyzing in healthy, rational ways because I've found myself not doing this in the past.

 

[sabbath9]

The Wall's overriding themes are the causes and implications of self-imposed isolation, symbolized by the metaphorical wall of the title. The album's songs create a very loose storyline sketching events in the life of the protagonist, Pink. Pink loses his father as a child (Waters's own father was killed in Anzio during World War II), is smothered by his overprotective mother, and is oppressed at school by tyrannical, abusive teachers, each of these traumas becoming "another brick in the wall". As an adult Pink becomes a rock star, his relationships are marred by infidelity and outbursts of violence. As his marriage crumbles, Pink finishes building the wall and completes his isolation from human contact.

Pink's mindset deteriorates behind his freshly completed wall, with his personal crisis culminating during an onstage performance. Hallucinating, Pink believes that he is a fascist dictator, and his concerts are like Neo-Nazi rallies where he sets his men on fans he considers unworthy, only to have his conscience rebel at this and put himself on trial, his inner judge ordering him to "tear down the wall" in order to open himself to the outside world, and apologizing to his closest friends who are hurt most by his self-isolation. At this point the album's end runs into its beginning with the closing words "Isn't this where..."; the first song on the album, "In the Flesh?", begins with the words "...we came in?" – with a continuation of the melody of the last song, "Outside the Wall" – hinting at the cyclical nature of Waters's theme.

The LP's sleeve art and custom picture labels by Gerald Scarfe tied in with the album's concept. Side one had a quarter of the wall erected and a sketch of the teacher. Side two saw half of the wall erected and a sketch of the wife. Side three had three-quarters of the wall erected and a sketch of the character of Pink, while side four had the wall completely erected and a sketch of the prosecutor. Bob Ezrin played a major part in taking Waters's demo material and clarifying the storyline by writing a script, which even called for additional songs to complete the plot.

 

[worrywort]

ah nice one! I forgot about their album...I might check it out. Sounds like the same thing I'm talking about.

I was thinking about this more the other day. While I think it's great to knock your invisible walls down so as to become more free, I reckon there could be some walls that it can be important to build for our own sense of security.

for example, if you were trying to quit smoking, if you decided to go cold turkey and you built a giant invisible wall saying "that's it....no more smoking", but were then to actually break your oath and smoke, the invisible wall is going to crumble slightly, and each time you break your oath your wall will get weaker, until eventually you'll have absolutely no faith in your own defences. Your invisible walls will all have crumbled. Consequently, next time you have to say no to something you'll probably find it very hard and give up very easily. Whereas if you had routinely said "no" to smoking, every day that goes by without smoking, your invisible wall will get stronger and stronger until eventually, the next time you need to say no to something you're gonna feel way more confident about it.