Intro/and in need of any advice

[voodoo]

I've been very shy pretty much my whole life, but what's really driven me to rethink it lately is a few people I've met in the last few weeks in a course I'm taking, who tell me I'm so shy, that I'm the quietest kid in the class.

I know it's true, but this all of a sudden hurts very much and I want to change it ASAP. I have very very few friends in RL and have a difficult time talking to people. I think I simply have a case of extreme shyness, but how can I go around changing it? How do I step out of my comfort zone when I have no or very few places to go or people to go with to practice my social skills.

it's very confusing, what shall I do? I don't want to be this way anymore.

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[lonelee1]

you've come to the right place. i think maybe taking very small steps outside of your comfort zone will help you push through the shyness. maybe use the class to start working on it. maybe ask your classmates questions or speak up in during lecture. you might be able to make a few friends there. perfect opportunity.

you might also consider seeing a professional. i might go back to therapy because i realize we never actually worked on social skills training.

things can get better and you'll see that with work, it will happen in no time.

feel better.

 

[SilentAndShy]

Always remember that when you're in a conversation, it's the job of BOTH people to contribute in that conversation - not just you.

If you strike up a conversation or someone does with you, just try to relax and get to know that person and hopefully, once you take small steps you'll be able to speak up more and be involved.

 

[voodoo]

At what point would you consider going to a therapist for this sort of issue? I don't know if I should go to a therapist and spend all that money or spend more time working over it myself.

Which brings me to my next point, where should I go to practise social skills? I have few activities to go to or friends to go places with. How should I start?

 

[Xervello]

I've been very shy pretty much my whole life, but what's really driven me to rethink it lately is a few people I've met in the last few weeks in a course I'm taking, who tell me I'm so shy, that I'm the quietest kid in the class.

I know it's true, but this all of a sudden hurts very much and I want to change it ASAP. I have very very few friends in RL and have a difficult time talking to people. I think I simply have a case of extreme shyness, but how can I go around changing it? How do I step out of my comfort zone when I have no or very few places to go or people to go with to practice my social skills.

it's very confusing, what shall I do? I don't want to be this way anymore.

If you have a difficult time conversationally, perhaps a therapist would be a good thing. Getting used to talking to someone, growing more comfortable expressing your thoughts in a relaxed way. Plus, maybe the therapist can help you out with any other issues you might have. If you can't afford a therapist, try making friends online. Chatting online. Develop your skills conversing there, and see if you can carry them over to real life. Ultimately though, what kind of friends do you want? What do you like doing? Go to where people are that do the things you do or like doing. It's always easier talking to someone over common interests than just random things off the top of your head in an awkward way. It can still be uncomfortable meeting strangers, befriending people, but as someone posted above, take small steps, babysteps, with this or that. And most importantly, try not to shrink away from people if they initiate contact with you. Make the effort to connect no matter how blah you feel inside. It may work, it may not. I wish you luck.

 

[fate12321]

well truth is I'm like that two, it feels really acward when you really don't Know anyone, but what i do is usually just talk about any random thing that i see or think that might be interesting that's my strategy hope it helps!