International Infantile Championships

[black_mamba]

We are gathered here today in the social phobia world stadium to watch, and maybe even take part in, the...

Annual International Infantile Champshionships (the AIICs)

crowd woops and cheers

The heats compromise of various childish activites such as: burping, snot throwing, farting, cartoon watching, tantrum throwing, ice cream eating, finger painting and dressing up.

TAKE NOTE: All competitors will be individually screened for sugar consumption as high blood-sugar levels can help increase performance.

The rules for each round will be explained as we go along, first up: Burping.

Points will be awarded for the following:

Loudness (in decibels)
Pitch (lower the better)*
Smell (at the judges discretion) &
Duration (longer the better)

Any competitor who wishes to display his/her burping prowess may either type a realistic representation or, for the technically savvy, post a link to an audio file of them burping.

*Bonus points will allocated to any competitor who can burp a well-known song.

Begin burping!

 

[redlady]

See - how could anybody even think to inhibit this shining example of humour and creativity.

Okay here i go takes swig of fanta to facilitate burp : Takes deep breath lowers head in concentration and attempts to control the accumulating and rising gas - success - mouth opens - housten we have lift off - it erupts with a loud timbre akin to that of a trombone and vibrates forth releasing a noxious odour, the wailing goes on in one continuous long breath but tapers off at the end finishing off with funnily enough a slight squeek - ooops - pardon.

 

[black_mamba]

:lol: *claps furiously*

Oh, my turn now? Ok...

*ingests a mouthful of air and brings it back up*

The resulting burp was more of a hiccup from a doormouse than a mammoth release of gas. Damn! I knew I should've brought some coke with me. :roll:

 

[redlady]

DOH! One official do over is permitted - redlady hands miss mamba her coke and stands by in anticipation. Silence fills the arena.

 

[black_mamba]

...


*sips a little coke, tasting for purity of fizzy gases*

...

*gulps down the entire can 330ml of tooth rotting goodness*

...

rumbling can be heard from black mamba's belly

...

BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrRrrRRRRrrrrrRRRrP!!!*

crowd goes wild!

(My god, I think this whole thread is testimony to our silly role-playing games and childishness). 8O

:lol:

Any other burpers around?

 

[redlady]

Aaaawwww.... it seems you and i are the only silly billies here - oh well long live childish role playing.

Oh and your second attempt was fabulous by the way - gotta love that coke.

 

[redlady]

Oh where for art thou McShy - come and join us in our childish reverie.

 

[black_mamba]

Day 2 - still no more competitors for the burping competition, the judges are still out on which burp was better: redlady's or black mamba's.

:lol:

 

[redlady]

Well i am far too modest to vote for myself so i will vote for the very bold and rather long tribute to excess gas that black_mamba let forth.

 

[Scottish_Player]

Do bum burps count? :lol:

if so then i should win :lol:

 

[black_mamba]

You only voted for me because you couldn't smell it. Trust me, had you had a whiff of my burp you would've hit the floor.

Next up! Snot-put round, you must hurl your snot as far as possible into the ex-shotput arena. Any flicking methods are acceptable. The use of external throwing equipment is not, such as a catapult.

May the snot hurling begin!

(Yes scottish player, but you must wait for the farting round!) :lol:

 

[redlady]

Okay miss mamba since i went first in the burping round you must go first in the snot flicking round - she says only to have more time to accumulate more mucous - but you don't know that. Alright miss get your finger/s at the ready - everyone else stand back.

 

[black_mamba]

In black mamba's attempt to find a webpage describing snot flicking techniques online she discovers a wonderful contraption:

http://www.kidzworld.com/site/p4237.htm

Too bad I can't use it.

*forms a ball 2mm in diameter of icky yellow bogey and flicks it a pathetic 1metre*

I just can't be bothered, I want a snot shot gun! Waaaaa!!

Right, who's up next?

 

[redlady]

You did that on purpose to let me win - you know what i'll take the charity, you're kicking my butt.

Alright - redlady stands at attention finger at the ready she waits for silence - then inserts finger in nostril for extraction - it seems that extra time paid off - loose dirt and dry wind mucous combination results in a good size booger - she rolls it in a ball for maximum effect and gets ready her pointer to flick forth from her thumb - it launches in the air with great height and falls falls ................. where did it land?

 

[redlady]

I am getting quite a good mental picture of you McShy - A Scottish Canadian with a short nose and a lame leg who suffered an unfortunate botched circumcision ( ouch ) looking good.
Thankyou for assuming the role of our official AIIC adjudicator - look forward to working with you. And also thanks for the very indepth desciption of snot / mucous / boogers - interesting stuff.
So i am assuming that as men stand at the urinal relieving themselves, they also relieve their noses of their boogers and wipe them off on the urinal - am i right or am i right. Gross! Says the woman who just competed in a burping and snot flinging comp - Buuurrrrrpppp..........!

 

[black_mamba]

My envelope plastered with green, yellow, clear and black bogers is on it's way to you McShy. Let's hope some silly brit postman doesn't decide to open it up in the hope of finding my bank cards again and gets himself covered in nose slime. :lol:

 

[redlady]

As the official judge of the AIIC games it has to be you who determines / measures which was flung the furthest - oh great and omnipotent snottish - can you tell i am trying to butter you up, so please take that into account when you measure. :wink: And if butt kissing does nothing for you then forget i said anything.

 

[redlady]

McShy - what's with all the missing body parts man? I shall prepare myself to be thoroughly entertained.

 

[black_mamba]

I think it's time for the farting round...

*expells a day-old fart before hiding behind her gas mask*

Hopefully that'll knock my competitors out.

...


...


*faints*

 

[Chilling__Echo]

wait wait wait i don't think anyone answered me in the other thead when i asked this but...

wtf is a botched circumcision?!?!?!?!


potty humor is the best