Inactive social life..

[Leannee]

Is having a practically non-existant social life a problem? Or is it fine..

I have a group of five or so friends at school and I get along great with them, but outside of school they hang around seperately with others who I don't know. My social life is pretty rubbish.. I might go to the cinema with one friend maybe once a month? Or shopping with one of them once a month? But, is that a problem. Is it unhealthy to stay at home at weekends and school holidays and spend time with the family.

I'm fifteen, and it kinda depresses me that I'm spending my limited teenage years at home, whilst other people my age are out and about constantly. I know it can be seen as an advantage - I'm getting good grades and spending time with family - but it still seems that I'm missing out on a vital aspect of my life. At school I'm incredibly quiet in the classroom, but at lunch when I'm with my group of close friends I'm talkative. So it's not that I have no friends at all, I just don't meet with them outside of school.

 

[Ignace]

Is having a practically non-existant social life a problem? Or is it fine..

I have a group of five or so friends at school and I get along great with them, but outside of school they hang around seperately with others who I don't know. My social life is pretty rubbish.. I might go to the cinema with one friend maybe once a month? Or shopping with one of them once a month? But, is that a problem. Is it unhealthy to stay at home at weekends and school holidays and spend time with the family.

I'm fifteen, and it kinda depresses me that I'm spending my limited teenage years at home, whilst other people my age are out and about constantly. I know it can be seen as an advantage - I'm getting good grades and spending time with family - but it still seems that I'm missing out on a vital aspect of my life. At school I'm incredibly quiet in the classroom, but at lunch when I'm with my group of close friends I'm talkative. So it's not that I have no friends at all, I just don't meet with them outside of school.

That can only mean one thing: you're me ! I am exactly as you, but just a little more worse. I don't go anywhere anymore since like .. a year or so. A problem ? If you're fine with it and feel normal between other people, no. But if you are anxious around people it could be. You say you're anxious in the classroom, is that because you don't know what to say or are you nervous ? My case is sometimes both but mostly off nervousness, allthrough I know them all for years...

 

[lyricalliaisons]

It's only a problem if you think it's a problem. If you'd like to be more social, then maybe it's a problem, but if you don't mind things being that way, then it's definitely not.

 

[Weeble]

Hi Leannee, I'm in a similar situation, im 16, finished school a few months ago and don't go out with any friends outside of school! You could say my situation is ''worse'' than yours but that's only what society tells us. Like someone said, it's only a problem if you think it is. I really think it doesn't matter what you do as long as you're happy - socializing with friends is just one method. Do whatever makes you happy, I stay at home a lot but i'm occupied as it is and preparing for my future life right now. First I did get down and very depressed that others were having a good time and that I was ''missing out on a vital aspect of life'' but it's different once I changed my mentality. I just look to the future and do whatever I can now to make that even better Well that's my experience..

ps I was also silent in the classroom until the teacher or someone asked me a question and I also was chatty with friends at school! I can totally empathize with u.

 

[girl707]

That's like me... the frustrating thing was watching my little brother go out every week with a large circle of friends and enjoy himself while I stayed home working/studying. But then again my own circle of friends were too busy to go out that often, hanging out with other friends, not always open to certain activities like movie night... I accept that this is the lifestyle I lead and that these are the friends that define me. The things that I do once in a while with my friends outside of school, not every week, are the most memorable. If you're happy with the friends you have and you really enjoy spending time with them at school, it doesn't matter how often you hang out together outside of school. But if you really want to interact more with your friends perhaps initiate an event or something when there's free time (summer is perfect for escapades with friends). Chatting over facebook etc. at home helps keep in touch with friends and perhaps is another way to effectively socialize.

 

[Jake123]

My sister is a social butterfly, but I never go out with people anymore. However, I'm perfectly content about it because I choose to have a nonexistant social life. I still have tons of people from my past who annoy me to hang out with them but I decline. I don't see being isolated as a problem unless you don't want to be.

 

[crunch-yogurt]

A few months ago i went through a phase where i just didnt head out at all. id get texts about head out on the town and stuff, but i hate that kinda thing. going to some ****ty nightclub thats really crowed and buying over priced drinks. every thing where i live seems to revolve around going out on the town and getting in a state. i really dont see the appeal

 

[TimArends]

Leannee, it sounds like you're not as shy as you could be, or a shy as many of the other posters on this forum.

It sounds to me like you are an introvert to some degree. You can socialize with others when you need to, but you prefer being alone much of the time when you can.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Introverts "recharge" by themselves, while extroverts "recharge" when they are around other people. These are just two different personality types and nothing to get too bothered about.

A good book to read is The Introvert Advantage, How To Thrive In An Extrovert World by Martí Olsen Laney, Psy.D.