I'm worried my Long distance boyfriend will hate me?

S

Sakuramiyakawa

New member
So we have been dating for about 3 weeks now and I really love him and he says he really loves me too. We like many of the same interests and he said he really wants to visit me in Japan (he's from China). I'm very glad about that and he also talks about our future like he wants me to marry him and live with him, even have children with him and that's so sweet. The thing is, he knows about my past when i was living in USA and I was almost raped 5 times. He said that was terrible and promised me that he will be the man to protect me and love my sincerely and not just walk off after making love.. I trust him, but sometimes he gets a little too far when we talk about sex and I sometimes have to remind him. He then blames himself saying he's a shameless man and I should find another man. Which irritates me because I only have room for him in my heart.

That happened a few times and then 2 days ago he asked me if I wanted a pic of his.. Uh manly stick.. And I told him "no I want to see it in person" because my evil past also had something to do with sending nude pics. So then he quickly said he's very sorry and again he told me to find another guy who doesn't talk about sex. And that's pretty rare in This day and age. He told me he's not angry or hurt since I told him no but since then he hasn't talked to me. At all. I'm very depressed and worried. What should I do?

I don't want to break up with him because he made me very happy. Should I wait for his reply? How many days do you think it will take? Please some advice! Thank you so much and I'm sorry for the long post T.T I'm about to tear right now..
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I'm very sorry about your past... but reading your post made me think of only one thing; is this relationship moving a bit fast?

I apologize for overstepping any boundaries but I feel that maybe you're feeling insecure about your relationship because you haven't been together long enough to really trust each other. It takes more than saying 'I love you' to a person to trust and understand each other. It takes time. It takes patience and it takes communication.
Long distance relationships are especially hard- even if you love someone more than anyone else in the world, some things cannot be communicated through words alone.


at any rate... you should not do anything that is uncomfortable for you.
If he makes you feel uncomfortable- you should tell him and explain why.
Nude pictures are risky and embarrassing-- and I think you'd be better off to see each other that way in person someday and not in a photograph. < I think this is how you feel though, so I probably didn't need to tell you. haha

I think that if he doesn't reply in the usual time that he would, you should email him once more- explaining why you turned him down.
Don't apologize though. You should never need to apologize for such a thing since you did nothing wrong!

I'm a bit surprised by how quickly your relationship is going... have you only known each other 3 weeks or did you know each other longer beforehand?
I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half before I told him that I loved him. Sure- I liked him alot but I wasn't positive and I wanted to be completely sure. We were together for 8 years, so my advice only comes from personal experience. I'm not trying to upset you, so I hope you can do what you feel is right and feel good about it.
 
pebblesdundee

pebblesdundee

1
Oh SPW, ye of little faith. Quit with the conspiracy theories. So he's taking things a bit fast, and they're going into thing fast. It's their choice, if it makes them happy, stop lecturing them
 
pebblesdundee

pebblesdundee

1
TheAristocrat said:
lol, but seriously, people seeking residency in other countries through the forming of relationships online is very, very common. It is always wise to be very careful. The reality is that she doesn't really know him. I would never advise someone to do anything that could be a danger to them.
Click to expand...

i guess. Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention. It's wise to be careful, of course, but it's wise to be open to ideas of honesty. Who's to say he hasn't just fallen for her and wants to rush things along?
 
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