FriendlyShadow
Well-known member
My sister used to have a boyfriend(who she had now broken up with for the last maybe eight years now, 2005 it was.) I treated him horribly. I was probably eight or seven when she introduced me to him. Though, he didn't seem like the type of guy who was comfortable around people like me. I could tell he might not have liked me the first day we met. But I now see why he would have a reason to dislike me now(I don't think he does, though I'm quite positive his feelings about me how I treated him back then are probably filled with are no less different.) I acted like a brat towards the both of them and now I feel like an a** that I think about it. I was at a monster truck show where they invited me both to come(her boyfriend was interested in them) so when it the place was loud(like the cars were roaring really loudly but the place offers these ear plugs which only helped minimize the sound.) Anyways, some people were trying to get past us(where we we were sitting) and like the bastard I was, I starting pouting and getting mad for no reason. I didn't know what I was thinking, I didn't know why I acted like that. It was like as if my entire mood had shifted to depression mode. My sister told me to move back so they could sit, but I just got more angry and sad and refused to look at the trucks anymore. (Jesus Christ, if I rewound back in time to where that event occurred I would've beaten my eight year old ass for being such a whiny ****ing prick.) Then her boyfriend was asking me something, I forgot what it was/nor did i hear him clearly when the trucks were stilling running. I think he told me nicely if I wanted to watch the rest of the show, but I still had the grim expression on my face and shook my head. I could see he was about frustrated with me and I think he kind of shook his head a little. I feel like banging myself on the table till I lose my consciousness. I feel so bad and so guilty, he was trying to make me feel a bit better, but I had to be snippy which I shouldn't have been. What the hell was I thinking?! Then, we were at a store(Jcpennies) Where there were the nightmare before Christmas dolls and I wanted one of them so badly. But then my sister told me she had no money to afford paying for them and that she would buy me something else I'd like. I should've just left it at that and understood why she couldn't buy me them, but again I had to be an ******* and pout and cry because I didn't get what I wanted. She offered me a shirt or a coat, but I didn't want to try it on because of how furious that i didn't get the doll. Then her boyfriend again tried to talk to me gently(I forgot what it was again) but I knew he was pissed off I was misbehaving and I think so was she. I had to write them an apology letter(or so my parents wanted me to) because of how I was acting.) And now that her boyfriend's gone, I'll never be able to apologize to him or even forgive myself for how I acted. I did see him once later in Giant Eagles but it was just a light conversation between me and my father. I feel like punching myself, shooting myself, banging myself, ripping ever hair focillicule from my head. If he was still with her right now, if they hadn't ever of broken up with eachother I would be much more behaved and nicer than I was back then. Now, I'm getting that guilty conscious that I might be partly the reason they broke up because he had to put up with my selfishness. I think I ruined their relationship and now I can't forgive myself. She has a new boyfriend now(I guess he is an okay guy, but I can't really have a conversation with him because he's kind of one of those people who doesn't really care.) Now, I'm starting to miss her ex-boyfriend. He used to teach me how to play his video games and watching a few movies while I was over. I can't get over how much I hurt him so much. He deserved better than that. I should've deserved to be punished more instead of just apologizing to him and her with a letter. I can't let this go. I wish I could've done something to stop myself from do what I have done. But the damage has pretty much been finished. I hate myself now. I wish my sister had never introduced me to him, maybe their problems wouldn't have impacted greatly if I hadn't been around them.
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