im really confused . . .

M

Marie Lafont

Member
okay, i had social anxiety for as long as i can remember. i know i have this because its hard for me to feel completely comfortable with people,speak clearly,speak (in general) make eye contact, etc...
but the thing is that this only really affects me sometimes. i can snap out of it a lot like when im with my friends or i just feel like 'not caring'. when im with my friends i can be really loud and myself 100%
(sometimes people i dont know so well get really freaked out when they see me acting like myself, since im so (unnaturally) quiet in school. they tell me i have a loud personality)
i can make friends/talk to random strangers. (when im alone-- no friends with me)
i can dance/sing in public and it wont bother me at all. (as long as im with my friends/people that im close to)
i can look people in the eyes and tell them off if they say/do anything mean.
(also when im alone...)

i even went out/made out a guy after knowing him for only 4 days....

im really sure i have social anexity.....
what i just dont get is how i can break free from it sometimes...
i just want to know if i have it or not
i was hoping that someone could help...

im new here....so yeah...sorry if this is in the wrong place ::eek::
 
kihira

kihira

1
Hi :)
You may experience differences in how you feel depending on whether you perceive others are judging you in a particular situation.
 
Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
Hey welcome to the site.

Social anxiety can be really severe and affect every aspect of someones life,or it can be less severe and only occur in certain situations.My therapist also said everyone has a little bit of social anxiety and that it's normal,it only becomes a problem when it stops us doing every day things.

Your best speaking to a doctor though and seeing if you can see a specialist or a therapist.Also If you have a root through this site I'm sure you will find some info which might help.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
Wow I can totally relate, sometimes I´m really loud and talking like I don´t care, just being myself. And sometimes I get anxious and then I´m quiet and nervous around people, freaking nervous. A girl once told me she found me ´´So different all the time´´, I still think about what she said sometimes, she told me I´m a nice person, but at the same time I think like, don't people think i'm weird because I'm so different all the time?, I'm so afraid of judgement. It just depends what kind of people I'm with, if it's a close friend I don't care, but if it's someone I don't feel comfortable with, I am totally uncomfortable and acting different. But also with close friends It goes up & down, I'm just chang-ing all the time, I hope we can hold the ''GOOD FEELING'' someday, like it's our natural acting, this proves that we CAN actually feel good around people, I bet all of you people have felt this before, because in our own invirement like we are in our own house, we can be ourselfes, right?, but if people could possibly judge us, or we feel like it, we get anxious. I hope we can deal with this someday.
But 1 thing is sure, it's all irrational!! our thoughts! ;)
 
M

Marie Lafont

Member
Flowergirlie said:
Wow I can totally relate, sometimes I´m really loud and talking like I don´t care, just being myself. And sometimes I get anxious and then I´m quiet and nervous around people, freaking nervous. A girl once told me she found me ´´So different all the time´´, I still think about what she said sometimes, she told me I´m a nice person, but at the same time I think like, don't people think i'm weird because I'm so different all the time?, I'm so afraid of judgement. It just depends what kind of people I'm with, if it's a close friend I don't care, but if it's someone I don't feel comfortable with, I am totally uncomfortable and acting different. But also with close friends It goes up & down, I'm just chang-ing all the time, I hope we can hold the ''GOOD FEELING'' someday, like it's our natural acting, this proves that we CAN actually feel good around people, I bet all of you people have felt this before, because in our own invirement like we are in our own house, we can be ourselfes, right?, but if people could possibly judge us, or we feel like it, we get anxious. I hope we can deal with this someday.
But 1 thing is sure, it's all irrational!! our thoughts! ;)
Click to expand...

thanks so much! reading your post made me feel so relieved.
i thought i was the only one with this freaky problem...:)
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Hi Marie!

I call it my 'artsy personality' or being introverted/extraverted (I can be both, with different people or at different times or depending on level of energy or how I feel/my moods.. I've been called 'very talkative/communicative' and 'quiet' lol by different people or at different times..) I also might be a bit bipolar-ish/mood swings.. Read about it.. Also being HSP (highly sensitive person) and HSS (High Sensation Seeker :)) Comfort Zone | Article

Actually I read the best actors/actresses are both extraverted and introverted, which gives them the best of both worlds.. (they have access to feelings and thoughts inside and a way of communicating them to others..) It can be sometimes weird or stressful, if you find a way of life to sort of accomodate both sides of you (not just introverted or extraverted job :) but a bit of both etc) it can also be very satisfying.. You like both being with people sometimes, and some alone time..

Social anxiety is like a continuum, it's not just 'black or white' but a lot of grey or colorful inbetween... Some only have anxiety in certain situations or at certain times.. There's info on this site and elsewhere..
Also, you can have a milder form or more extreme problems.. (mine is mild compared to some people here, others have it even midler than me though..)

SA can stem from different causes, so it can be triggered by different things too.. Maybe you can keep a journal of it and see any possible causes? It can be nutrition-related, may get worse if you're tired or hungry, or from alcohol/caffeine/sugar which can deplete healthy minerals/vitamins.. Or from negative thoughts or if you see something/someone that reminds you of bad memories etc.

There are lots of little things you can think, do or say to combat it.. There are books etc written about these things.. Quite some info online too.. It can be easier with friends, yup, cause you know them well and know you can trust them, etc.
 
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