I'm miserable

[Dennis1980]

I am 32 years old. I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember, and I just moved out on my own for the first time 3 months ago.
And while that is a big deal, I am still unhappy.

I don't drive; I hate it, and the last time I tried to drive I got headaches and just felt horrible about myself because I can't do it at all.

I never had a girlfriend before. I never felt like anybody was attracted to me; I never feel wanted. I get so lonely, all the time. I know if I got a girlfriend tomorrow that it wouldn't solve my problems, but at least I would feel like I am a human who has human experiences.

I don't really have a career, so I ended up at an electronics distributor, working with the salespeople (I don't do sales, just help them out). I like my job, but I don't really want to do it for the rest of my life. I never liked answering the question "what do you want to do when you grow up?" when I was a kid, and I still don't have an answer for it. Work is really all I have. I do all of my socializing there. I get what little confidence I have from the good job that I do.

I'm shy at first, but once I learn the personalities of the people around me, I get more comfortable. But even then, I don't really know how to talk to people, so I mainly make comments here and there. Normally, I don't know what to say, in general, with most people. Probably why I almost never hang out with these people outside of work.

I don't have many close friends. I have a good one, but she is difficult to get a hold of at times. I became closer friends with a co-worker during the summer, but right before Christmas we had a falling out, mainly because of me (long story). We started talking a litle bit again, but I don't know if we can ever be as good friends as we were before.
This past week I got in trouble at work when another co-worker complained to HR that I said something inappropriate. I think I know who complained, but I don't know what I said. I'm sure I probably did say something offensive, but if it is the person I think it is, then we've probably said worse stuff to each other in the past.
I don't know how to make friends, at age 32. I just feel pathetic.

 

[jaim38]

You're not alone. There are other people here around your age or older who have never had a girlfriend and don't socialize much. I don't really know how to talk to people too, it's like I can get tongue tied sometimes. Or I worry I might say something incoherent or stupid.

 

[foyle]

You are not the only one who feel that way. You should contact with people in your area.

 

[UnOccupied]

Dennis, glad to see you are seeking help.

You need to get working my friend. What would you like to improve on most? Confidence, getting girls, happiness? Whatever one it is, there are tons of books out there to help improve these. I would say getting a girlfriend could be a good focus for you. Not only does it take the focus OFF of yourself, and puts it onto other people, but it also will help develop you as a person.

Taking the focus AWAY from you're problems is my best advice.