So I'm a 17 year old guy and I've been dealing with what I believe to be social anxiety for a long time now. Ever since I was a kid I've been shy, my parents broke up when I was a baby and since than my family has become very shattered. Thats a completely different topic, but to give you an idea, I have two older sisters. I never realized I had them until I was 11, my mother told me my sister was pregnant. Anyway that was just an example of how my family has its troubles, as for me, well I was never very popular my with people my age, I had maybe 2 friends that weren't family growing up and only one was my age. With said friends all we did was stay inside and play video games. When the friend my age moved I stopped talking to the younger one as I wasn't very comfortable around him without My friend. After that I resorted to hanging out with the kids on my street. Who were all about 5 to 2 years younger than me, I'm sure that altered my maturity level some. After that I got my very first girlfriend, when we broke up I lost all my friends. This was because her friends became mine and I stopped hanging out with the younger kids because of her.. So because of that i spent two months in my house with no friends at all.. I barely talk to my father, I don't see my mom enough anymore to feel truly comfortable around her. I had no one. I ended up convincing myself I was crazy.. I felt different like no one recognized me and for whatever reason I came under the assumption that I was insane.. I started playing the part, developing habits. Whenever I would get angry I would lose myself, I would twitch, scream, laugh, and try to immiate someone insane. I literally convinced myself i was crazy.. I wanted to be. I wanted an explanation for why I felt so different. So alone. Right now, all that is behind me, I miraculously made a friend and his friends became mine, and my social skills improved enough that I made a steady group of friends.. However I still feel alone.. Really alone.. It's been five years since I had a girlfriend. Every one of my friends has a girlfriend, so now to avoid the emptiness I avoid them. I can't look at a attractive girl without feeling horrible about myself. I'm so lost on what to do with myself now.. I find myself always thinking about the past and always obsessing over how bad my future is going to be.. I don't know what to do anymore.. The loneliness is eating me alive.. Worst of all the anxiety keeps me from meeting new people.. I'm immensely awkward.. I couldn't get a girlfriend even if I tried. So lost.. So alone.. So confused.
I'm a new user, and I kind of need people to talk to..
- Thread starter Brandon94
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DeadmanWalking
Well-known member
Hey there Brandon and welcome!
Well, you've made a start. Keep working on making friends, you've proven that you're capable of it. Besides, getting a friend is far easier than getting a girl/boyfriend, I believe. Sharpen up your social skills and find some value within yourself. You can get a girlfriend, okay? All it takes is work, determination, and, most importantly, hope and faith, in her and in yourself. Don't worry about the future right now; after all, what good is a future if you can't survive the present (that may or may not have helped:
. Anyway, my point was that you should focus on defeating the problems ahead of you and deal with the future when it comes. Maybe you could talk with the friends you have right now and ask them for help in making some new friends.
Well, you've made a start. Keep working on making friends, you've proven that you're capable of it. Besides, getting a friend is far easier than getting a girl/boyfriend, I believe. Sharpen up your social skills and find some value within yourself. You can get a girlfriend, okay? All it takes is work, determination, and, most importantly, hope and faith, in her and in yourself. Don't worry about the future right now; after all, what good is a future if you can't survive the present (that may or may not have helped:
. Anyway, my point was that you should focus on defeating the problems ahead of you and deal with the future when it comes. Maybe you could talk with the friends you have right now and ask them for help in making some new friends.
Thanks for answering me so quickly! I've been trying really hard to sharpen my social skills but I'm always blocked by this immense awkwardness I seem to carry around with me.. I can't for the life of me approach another person. Not unless someone else sets up just right so that it can't be awkward, which is a very hard thing to accomplish with me. For whatever reason I find myself struggling to work for things I know I have to. School for example. Since elementary school I've had difficulties trying to do the work.. I never want to do it.. Even though I know I have to or I'll never make it anywhere in life.. I've gone from failing a few tests to only having 7 credits in my third year of high school. I need 18 to graduate, I know all of this.. I know I need to work to make it anywhere yet I will not. If I'm alone trying to work I will fight with myself constantly I feel like I'm being blocked.. I don't know where it comes from.. I mean I hate school work, I thought that was normal yet everyone else manages just fine.. I know it's not a illness of some sort, I have a hobby of making videos, I'll sit there for hours and edit the clips I've spent hours recording to perfection.. I just refuse to do it even against my better judgement.. Worst of all I'm 17 and will not read the drivers handbook? Why? I don't know, I don't seem to care enough about getting my license, hell I don't seem to care enough about anything anymore. I find myself enjoying it when I wallow in self pity.
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DeadmanWalking
Well-known member
The driver's license thing isn't something to be so worried about since there are always other modes of transportation that are free and you shouldn't really get it until you need it. If it makes you feel any better, I'm 19 and I don't have my license yet either, although I'm working on it but not as much as I should be. The school work thing is something to worry about though. You need to force yourself to do your schoolwork, no matter how much you hate it or don't care about it, or else you won't be leaving school until you either drop out or get kicked out. After that,..... well, you said it yourself. Set some time aside for your work, like a schedule or something. Promise yourself that you won't touch anything until you finish that work and set punishments and rewards too for more incentive. As for making new friends, why don't you ask your friends to help set you up the way you like it. You're most likely going to end up needing support with this.
As for your pity, well,..... if you enjoy it, then there's nothing anyone can do. Only until you decide that "enough's enough", will people be able to help you, okay?
As for your pity, well,..... if you enjoy it, then there's nothing anyone can do. Only until you decide that "enough's enough", will people be able to help you, okay?